Nursery say 2 and a half is too old to start nursery

[Maxymoo1]

Hi everyone,

My little boy is 10 months old, he is my first baby. I'm self employed and work from home so he's currently with me all the time. We have a really highly rated nursery on our doorstep and I spoke to them yesterday to arrange a visit, with a view of putting my sons name on the waiting list for him to start nursery two days a week when he is 2 and a half years old.

The lady I spoke to politely asked if I would mind if she offered me some advice, she said that in her experience 2 and a half is a difficult age for children to start nursery, by this time they are very used to being with their Mummy and have a lot of emotions at this age so it can be a bit overwhelming for them. Obviously I want to do whatever is best for my little boy, but I'm a bit confused now and wondered what everyone else's experiences have been? I'd appreciate any advice! Thank you x

My son didn't start until 3 when the free hours started and he was absolutely fine. If you take him to baby groups etc then he will be well socialised which will make the transition easier for him. Of course it can take a while for them to settle but dont let her put you off.

There are challenges at different ages. At your son's age now it is a classic age for separation anxiety. Personally I disagree with this idea that we have to start children really young to get them used to being away from parents. Also, nursery doesn't benefit children until 2/3. (Not to say it is bad either, and of course nurseries are very necessary for many people to work/have a break.) My daughter started at 3.5, no trouble settling in and thrived. I would just stick with your plan.

I’ve found children over 3yrs tend to enjoy nursery and settle better, as a general rule. Mainly because this is the age cooperative play and their imagination starts thriving and they enjoy their peers. Between 2-3 they still struggle to share and it can be harder for them socially.

They settle in a good nursery whatever age they start though so no age is wrong, I just think they seem to settle better and enjoy it more over 3.

My boys started at 2y4m and 2y2m. They both settled ok and enjoy it. I was lucky to have the choice and wouldn't have wanted to send them any younger

I'm a childminder and personally I think she's talking rubbish. I have far more problems settling children of your LOs age. Honestly, you need to get them in before 9m or maybe after 2. I wouldn't worry too much. Do what you need to do for your family. It will all work out fine if you choose the right carer.

My dd started a week or two after her 3rd birthday, took her around 6 weeks to settle. Daily crying, saying she didn’t want to go she missed me etc. Dd2 started at 10mo moved to a different nursery at 18mo and I haven’t had any issues whatsoever at either and she’s 3. So from personal experience I’d start them earlier.

Rubbish. Thousands of kids only start nursery when they get their funding

So many kids (me and sister included) just do preschool and that’s three plus so what a load of tosh!

I think she is trying to fill her places and will tell you anything to try to get you to sign up to a place as soon as possible. I can’t see any issue for a child starting at nursery two days a week at 2 and a half.

Don’t forget the nursery is a business trying to make money.

She’s being ridiculous! My daughter started doing three mornings per week at preschool at 2.2 and yes, we did have some initial separation anxiety as you would expect, but she still settled in fairly quickly and absolutely loved it when she did. Children start at different ages - your son will be absolutely fine at 2.5!

Both mine just went when they got their free hours age 3

Is it marketed as a day care nursery or a pre school nursery? Loads of children don't start nursery until they are 3 - at a pre school nursery because their parents have no need for day care when their children are younger. Quite frankly I would worry about what child development qualifications she has if she is spouting such nonsense.

Load of shite. Wants the money from you to start earlier.

Mine started preschool at 2y 9m, as many children do. She had never been looked after anyone except close family members. She was absolutely fine.

Wants the money from you to start earlier.
Does sound a bit like that...

Settling in is difficult whatever age I would assume.

It was very hard with my 10 month old but obviously I have no experience settling in a toddler.

I’d say, as long as you get out the house. Have some play dates and get to some baby groups it will be fine. I mean, even if you don’t do all those thing it will likely be fine anyway.

One of the most confident toddlers I know has a SAHM, she is very involved with play groups.

My son was 2 and a half when he started. The health visitor mentioned at at the 2 year check and said it would be good for him. (I had t even thought about it). We are entitled to the 15 hours free from the term after his birthday, so we decided to go for it. He started in the January. He was fine and loved it. He starts school this September, he will miss nursery so much

Not RTFT but I was told something similar with both my DC, I was told that staff were worried about them settling in because they were older (they were both 3). They were both absolutely fine - in fact, I'd say they had a seamless transition into nursery and loved it, and that was in 2 different settings. I think people can be a bit funny about it but from a personal perspective I had zero problems. Am expecting to be told the same thing with number 3 though!

Ds started a month before he was 3, 2 mornings a week for the first term & then half days until he started school. He settled in straight away despite later being diagnosed with ASD, he loved his time there.

She’s talking total crap and/or trying to get the most money per child. My relative has run a nursery for decades and most of that time only took them from 2y9m up. Thousands of children were totally fine with that.

Even if she is right, which I don’t think she is, there is a difference between doing what is ideal and doing what is realistic.

You must have your reasons for not wanting to send him to nursery until he’s 2 and a half, whether that is financial or because of your schedule and you’re entitled to do what works for your family, if he’s a NT child it may well take a few weeks to settle in to the new routine and get used to you not being there but that is a very short amount of time in the great scheme of things and won’t affect him in any significant way.

Trying to fill her spaces. Ignore her and maybe consider a setting with more honest advice that is in the interests of family and child not money.

I think that is utter rubbish.

My daughter was told from an early age what fun nursery was and how much she would enjoy it. She didn't go till she was nearly 3 but loved it.

I work in a nursery and it sometimes can be a difficult age to start, but it’s not to late to start nursery. Children are all different and can be very adaptable. You know your own child and what’s right for them. Maybe that setting is not right for your DC, if they have that attitude. See if you can look around other settings and may find another setting with staff sensitive to you and your DCs needs.

I think it may depend on if it's full time 8-6 type nursery or a preschool setting with 9-12 or 9-3 type hours. My DDs did morning preschool hours from around 2y4m and didn't have any problems but they might have struggled with 8-6 or 9-5. All children are different though.