Nursery say 2 and a half is too old to start nursery

[Maxymoo1]

Hi everyone,

My little boy is 10 months old, he is my first baby. I'm self employed and work from home so he's currently with me all the time. We have a really highly rated nursery on our doorstep and I spoke to them yesterday to arrange a visit, with a view of putting my sons name on the waiting list for him to start nursery two days a week when he is 2 and a half years old.

The lady I spoke to politely asked if I would mind if she offered me some advice, she said that in her experience 2 and a half is a difficult age for children to start nursery, by this time they are very used to being with their Mummy and have a lot of emotions at this age so it can be a bit overwhelming for them. Obviously I want to do whatever is best for my little boy, but I'm a bit confused now and wondered what everyone else's experiences have been? I'd appreciate any advice! Thank you x

My mum was my childcare so mine didn’t go to nursery/preschool setting until 2.5-3. Eldest struggled a bit but she was that sort of child. Other 2 were fine. Both went about 2.5. The nursery should be able to settle kids in.

🙄her business is selling child care. If he doesn’t need to go earlier (so you can work etc) then the best place for him is with you.

There’s no benefit to the child in going before 3 - a whole year before school is more than enough to learn the essential skills before starting school (doing as they’re asked, sitting quietly when they’re being read to, putting coats & shoes on and generally not having someone 1:1) & a few other life skills. A year is plenty.

That's a difficult age in general. I can imagine it being a tricky time to start in a childcare setting tbh.

I heard that under 1 or over 3 is the best time to start nursery. Why do you need nursery? If it's just for socialisation/to give you a break you could wait until he's 3. Ultimately it just depends on the child though. My DS started nursery at 2 and had no issues whatsoever.

Hi everyone, thanks so much for all of your replies! I did read them all and thought I replied sooner so apologies for the delay - it's been a distracting few weeks for everyone!
To answer your questions, I am planning to put him in nursery a day or two a week, not necessarily all day (not sure how it works just yet) and partly because I'm self employed and will be working from home but I do have a good routine working when he sleeps at the moment so it's mainly for his sake to help him before he starts school. Since I posted the nursery contacted me to check if I was still going to have a look around, this was once all of the coronavirus news had started to get serious but before the official lockdown, to be honest I was surprised that they gave me the option to go in for a tour and it's put me off them a bit more. I think he will be 2.5-3 years when he starts and I'm happy with that, I hope we will have baby number 2 by then. Thank you for all your replies and I hope everyone is keeping safe and well at home x

Hi OP,

I’m inclined to agree with this actually. In my own experience, the age between 2-3 years is the most difficult time to settle a child, particularly one who has never been in childcare. I can’t say why, but I’m a childminder and have settled dozens of children in who are less than two, and quite a few amount of children 3+ and it’s always been those that started between 2-3 years that I’ve found had the most difficult time emotionally. I think part of it is that their understanding level is so much more than an under 2, but still not quite enough to totally understand what is happening, why they are there, when their parents are coming back. The biggest thing for me, again, just in my own experience is that I think 2 is an age where socially children aren’t particularly capable- they often can’t understand eachother, don’t always recognise attempts from other children to interact etc, but they are old enough to be particularly effected by those around them and their moods/ behaviour. So whereas another child having a tantrum might be very alarming to a 2 year old who has never been in childcare before, a younger child might not be as observant and an older child will no doubt be able to separate themselves and recognise that the tantrum isn’t concerning them, X just feels upset etc.

Anyway, that’s all just hypothesising on the reasons! But yes, I try and avoid settling children in between 2-3. Does your little one get plenty of other social interaction with other children their age? That will help immensely too I’d imagine. Xx

@Enwi.
I think that it's more to do with the activities and social interaction given than who it's been done with....so a child in a bad setting who dosent mix with others will have more of a struggle than one at home who goes to lots of groups where they interact....not soft play that tends to be a lot of running but no interaction. As well as children who for a want of a better word have been babied have everything done for them and adults who step in or helicopter them following them around at groups so closely that its the adult who resolves every issue. That's not age but care style.....unfortunately I think a lot of children will be struggling with separation when we go back so the nursery will have issues with all the age groups.

Sorry I agree with her. My LO started nursery from five months and he's absolutely thrived from it. IMO starting after one is late. That said, you are his mum and you know what's best so go with your gut