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Original poster

Who puts there lo's in nursery - even if you are having the week off work?

39 replies

Ceebee74 · 09/06/2007 14:42

Just wondering how many people do this as I can't get my head round it.

Me and Dh are having a week off in early July and can't decide whether to still take DS (11 months) to nursery on the 3 days he would normally go.

I can see why people do it - time to themselves, you have to pay for the place anyway, don't disrupt their routine - but it just feels weird for me to let someone else look after my child when I am available to do it - but is this me being over-protective and should I relax and me and DH enjoy some 'couple' time for a change?

OP posts:
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dustystar · 09/06/2007 14:44

Personally I'd take the opportunity to have some childfree time with dh - even if its just one day.

lulumama · 09/06/2007 14:45

it depends....

you can have the time as a couple, which im sure you;ve not had much of lately...and do nice things like go out for lunch, and potter round the shops

or you can also do any big messy jobs round the house, like any decorating and DIY..without worrying about DS

nothing wrong with wanting me time or couple time

madmarchhare · 09/06/2007 14:46

I would

ds has been going to nursery for two mornings a week since september and I dont start work until next week

tiredandgrumpy · 09/06/2007 15:06

Definitely as it is a rare opportunity for me time/time with dh. However, why not compromise - doesn't have to be all day. I would perhaps pick dc up early & have a family tea etc.

lilymolly · 09/06/2007 15:09

deffo, I send dd to childminder, when I am off for all the reasons you listed, yes I feel guilty, but then I do need some "me" time.

Original poster
Ceebee74 · 09/06/2007 19:56

Guess that is unanimous then - I need to chill out and enjoy the time....which is ok but I need to persuade DH!

I have tentatively suggested that we go shopping/lunch for one of the days without DS but he said it wouldn't be as much fun without DS - any advice how I can persuade him??

OP posts:
ImpyChica · 09/06/2007 20:05

Hi CB!

Have some "you and DH" time definitely! Buy some saucy lingerie to persuade him

Impy x

pointydog · 09/06/2007 20:12

I always wanted to spend the time with my kids too, so I can see where your dh is coming from.

dyzzidi · 09/06/2007 20:14

I do I tend to use the days for DIY packing for holidays sometimes spend the whole day cooking for the freezer.

Or the odd time I am very very lazy and come home to sleep for the whole day.

I only get an extra day at nursery when there is a bank holiday and they swap the monday for me.

Original poster
Ceebee74 · 09/06/2007 20:16

Hi Impy

I like your thinking x

OP posts:
MadamePlatypus · 09/06/2007 20:17

Nothing wrong with wanting some childfree time. Some people use grandparents, other people use nursery.

jetgirl · 11/06/2007 20:12

My 21 month dd goes to nursery 2 days a week and has been since she was 4 1/2 months; I'm a teacher and still send her in the half term breaks, and the other holidays, except we usually go away to visit family etc then. She loves her time at nursery, I get a bit of me time - and I am really refreshed when I collect her at the end of the day. It's also nice to spend time with dh if he has time off too.

I don't feel weird about it at all, though the first time I did feel a bit like I was being lazy - that didn't last long! Seeing as our second is due in November it's nice for me to have that time to myself before I will be back to the sleepless nights and full-time care for a bit.

Hulababy · 11/06/2007 20:15

When I was teaching and DD was at nursery I still had to pay for nursery in school holidays (12 weeks worth). So DD did go some of the time for various reasons: time for me, time to do housework, time to meet DH or a friend for lunch maybe, consistency for DD, DD enjoyed it there and had fun so that too, etc.

iota · 11/06/2007 20:18

I agree with MadamePlatypus - word for word

Chelseamum · 11/06/2007 20:18

Darling,

I don't work and still i take my daugher one day a week to nursery so I can have a day off.

Yes, involving me organising my home for the weekend, hairdressing, seeing friends in unfriendly places for babies, it is my only day off.... i deserved it! And sometimes have boozy lunch with my husband without the worries of baby knowing she is being looked after!

Don't beat yourself up... you've paid the fees... you and your relationship is also very important!

xx

mummynumnum · 11/06/2007 20:37

I agree with hulababy-word for word.

gingernutlover · 13/06/2007 07:13

I was wondering whetherthis would ever come up on mumsnet as I have the same situation and me and dh are frequently at logger heads over it

i teach part time too and dd goes to nursery 3 days a week and i do send her still when i am on school hols - but when it suits me eg if i have a ton of paperwork to do or need to go to the hairdressers - i always figure, she doesnt know where i am and loves nursery when she's there so makes no difference to her. It does feel weird though taking her to day care and coming home, wierd but quite nice at times enjoy your time with dh and hey, you dont have to send your son all three days, why not designate a day for you and dh and a day to get anything else done and a day to have as a family day out, all go swimming or for a picnic etc.

and as for us my dh has finally come to accept that it is ok for dd to go to nursery even if i am not working, and that the days i spend on my own with her arent filled with roses and singing and dancing every single time. He even suggests i send her now and we have planned for us to have a couple of days together when he has time off in august.

Have fun!

Original poster
Ceebee74 · 13/06/2007 07:16

Thanks Ginger - I think we have come round to the idea of taking DS at least 1 or 2 days that week. I used the promise of a lovely lunch out and maybe the cinema (which we have not been to since DS was born) to persuade DH

I have only done it one day before now when I was sick and couldn't go to work and there was no way I could have looked after DS too - so I took him, came home and slept for most of the day - and it did feel weird.

OP posts:
olivo · 13/06/2007 12:14

I'm a teacher and had the same dilemma in half term. in the end, i put her in each day for a few hours, spent one day shopping, one day clearing out the loft, dh took one of the days off and we had lunch and went to the pictures, and the last day i had dd fior the afternoon and we went out. i really benefitted from the 'me' time and i'm intending, when i go down to 4 days a week next year, to still put dd in nursery 5 days and use the time to do the chores and my school work, so evenings and weekends can be family time.
but i'll still feel guilty about it !

potoroo · 13/06/2007 12:25

I pay for childcare whether he is there or not.
So if I take a couple of days off to do things areound the house or have a rest I leave him there.

If we are going on a holiday obviously we take him out ;)

potoroo · 13/06/2007 12:28

I pay for childcare whether he is there or not.
So if I take a couple of days off to do things areound the house or have a rest I leave him there.

If we are going on a holiday obviously we take him out ;)

potoroo · 13/06/2007 12:28

Oops.

princessbride · 13/06/2007 12:29

enjoy the time, i have two two year olds and i have to pay for that place anyway and i cant wait to drop them off on the one day they go, i get home and just collapse on the sofa and watch crap tv and drift off to sleep...well its what we all wish we could do when the house is chaos and full of crazy kid tantrums so why feel guilty to enjoy abit of you time, we are still us,

Tommy · 13/06/2007 12:31

make the most of it.

I'm a SAHM so any child free time I need needs the planning of a small military operation

bozza · 13/06/2007 12:31

I tend to do a mix tbh. Last time I had time off work was to go visit my newborn nephew. So as DD was desperate to meet her cousin, I took her out of nursery and with me. But if I am Christmas shopping for her presents I would leave her in nursery.