just taken ds to his first settling in session at nursery - could do with talking it through!

[Tutter]

am planning on starting ds at nursery 2 mornings a week after easter

he's 22mo. am expecting ds2 in july (hence starting ds1 in nursery - just to free up some time for me and newborn when he arrives)

he's pretty confident and happy - not clingy. he legged it to play with toys when we got there so i retreated to the office without saying goodbye

he was fine for half an hour - apparentl playing happily on his own but then got upset - was looking for me. after 15 mins they came to get me and we headed off

was only going to be an hour's settling period anyway

but now am feeling all hormonal and upset and wondering if i'm doing the right thing. i don't have to send him after all - am at home and have no plans to return to work

any advice/words of wisdom/reassurance would be appreciated

[OrvilleRedenbacher]

er franny i think she was tryign to make me feel better
ditto me and tutter

[Tutter]

cod - nice idea but he doesn't speak yet

at all

[Tutter]

franny, fret not, i took it as cod had intended it i believe

one of those light words and firm hug type things (if cod did hugs that is)

[FrannyandZooey]

I was reading it and I thought you were going to say "and she was barking of course"

but you said "she was like a breath of fresh air" !

Tutter does not have to go to work or send ds now, I presume you had to

Tutter wants to know if this is the right thing for her ds - it may not be. She doesn't need blind reassurance she needs to discuss the options and whether it will be ok for ds

[FrannyandZooey]

although what do I know



you two have an understanding, I will butt out

[OrvilleRedenbacher]

everyone esle said" oh yes poor you" and that was NOT heloing
i HAd to go back to work
and she made me feel better
ididnt need any mroe guilt

although in the end it worked out fine

[OrvilleRedenbacher]

i also foudn havgin ds1 aat school and ds2 at nursery when ds3 came made me NOT have PND for a third time and become a shreikeing nutter

[Tutter]

no please don't franny

i need both of you, albeit for slightly different reasons

thanks for your responses - i am probably more in camp franny on this one

also recognise i'm lucky that i have the choice and don't have to leave him work

[OrvilleRedenbacher]

oh well if its really terrible then dont
but oyu ened to try mroe than one session

[Tutter]

don't be lke that

have had 2 visits and 2 settlin sessions

have 3 more arranged for next week

[OrvilleRedenbacher]

no i didn tmen it in a huffy fashion but if its trunign you to drinkt hen dont

( uinless here a glass for me)



why not get a nanny fo post natal

[FrannyandZooey]

Cod I would have said the same, if I had known you then and you had to go back to work. Of course you didn't need the guilt and you have to do what you have to do.

Tutter doesn't have to go to work, and when you say "it is not helping", I think you mean it is not influencing her to make the decision to send ds now

but maybe sending ds now is not the right thing? I have also reassured T but she also needs to trust her instincts

[OrvilleRedenbacher]

yes i agree.
i don thinktis helpful to haev some kind of help when numeb 2 comes

as i think almost eveyone i knwo way that when you haev numebr 2 numeb 1 is VERY annoying( or seems it) for a month or tow

[FrannyandZooey]

and Tutter you know I am not saying "DON'T send him"

but I am with you in considering the option that it may not be the best thing

(Gawd don't you think, having me on one shoulder and cod on the other, barking opinions at you, would drive anyone to drink )

[Tutter]

nanny/mothers help (hate that name) another option we have been considering

dh would prefer this i think

[OrvilleRedenbacher]

lo
or cocaine

is he only doign a mornign or two
nti a whole day surely?

[Tutter]

funnily enough don't think your vewis are diametrically opposed

[Tutter]

two mornings was the plan

[FrannyandZooey]

You DO think it is helpful to have help?

Yes agree in that case

local teenagers to play with ds in the garden while you breastfeed? Especially at what HC calls the arsenic hour. They would charge fk all and it might get you through the rest of the day, knowing Tara from down the road is coming at 4.

[OrvilleRedenbacher]

id carry on staying at the nursery wiht him to play and if then try to go

he may cry fleetingly
what i did was to stay outside the door so i coudl HEAR it stopped then go

if he dindt stop the whoel time id think again

[OrvilleRedenbacher]

i htink ds3 was that age when he started

[FrannyandZooey]

No our views aren't diametrically opposed Tutter, they seldom are, we just pretend as it is good for the ratings

[Tutter]

[OrvilleRedenbacher]

ok am off ot take ds3 to bed

[Tutter]

thanks both