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Nursery carers kissing kids on lips

176 replies

PoopyNappy · 24/04/2006 22:58

Was shocked when I picked DS up from nursery last week that the carer gace him a kiss on the lips.

Asked a friend of mine if she observed it as well and has seen the same person kissing her DS and others on the lips.

What about passing on illnesses such as meninjitis and other such things. The worst thing was that the carer had a stinking flu type cold at the time and sure enuf several days l8r DS came down with fever, rash and waking through the night. Had goto Dr's twic in one day cos DS got a rash with pinprick blood spots...

Maybe I'm being a prude here but I think kissing on lips is for close family. Kissing on cheeks is fine surely?

I'm gonna have to say something but be very tactful without trying to offend...

Thoughts?

OP posts:
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morningpaper · 26/04/2006 21:41

actually HE said to me recently that "Urm I think your daughter is rather too attached to me so I'm trying to encourage her to play with the others a bit more" Grin

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panicpants · 26/04/2006 21:43

No no I didn't mean you needed an adult present to remove earrings, I meant we were not allowed to remove/replace earrings at all, and that when nappies are changed we needed chaperone.

The earrings thing is due to Aids and HIV I think.

lol at beard

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ThePrisoner · 26/04/2006 21:44

Panicpants - I'm not sure what my good idea was??

I think it's sad that there is so much legislation preventing what should be seen as normal, day-to-day tasks being done because of the possibility of something being inappropriate. I had a very distressed minded schoolchild once who came rushing out of school and managed to catch me before I left - she was unable to remove her own earrings, and the school said she wouldn't be allowed to go swimming!

Do you know what's really sad - when I change a baby's nappy (as a lone childminder, I'm allowed to do it by myself!!!) - I tend to think twice if my dh is home and happens to walk into the room, just in case another mindee says something to a parents that just might be construed as "a bit dodgy". Sad

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bubble99 · 26/04/2006 21:46

Two staff to change a nappy?? Really??

As far as I know, OFSTED only require two staff to be present for an un police-checked person. People without CRB clearance shouldn't be changing nappies anyway. And, in fact shouldn't be working in a nursery at all. Even students on placements should be checked as presumably the placement is pre-arranged and CRB checks don't take long to do.

I'm flabbergasted by the earrings scenario. Huh???

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bubble99 · 26/04/2006 21:49

I'm saddened that all of this well intentioned but emotionally stunting nonsense is going on in the name of 'child protection.'

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ThePrisoner · 26/04/2006 21:50

bubble - I had to get another mum to do it because I have a real "thing" about ears/earrings (and can't touch them!!!) And she wasn't police-checked. Eeek.

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bubble99 · 26/04/2006 21:51

You're going straight to hell for that one. Wink Grin

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ThePrisoner · 26/04/2006 21:51

(Still want to know what my good idea was, I don't have them very often).

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ThePrisoner · 26/04/2006 21:52

Bubble - what's really awful is that, potentially, I guess the mother of the child could have probably made a complaint against me!!!

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panicpants · 26/04/2006 21:53

It's a sad world we live in. I wonder if we would be having this discussion 50 years ago

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bubble99 · 26/04/2006 21:54

??

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panicpants · 26/04/2006 21:54

Sorry prisoner, about your form. At school we're form mad. Our hands are so tied it's ridiculous.

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ThePrisoner · 26/04/2006 21:54

Did little girls have their ears pierced 50 years ago?! They certainly didn't go swimming!

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Bozza · 26/04/2006 21:54

I agree that a lot of it is sad bubbles. DH doesn't do lip kissing (I am the sole exception, lucky me, eh?) but we have always done it in my family so I am relaxed about it. DD and her friend (1.11 and 2.4) do really sloppy lip kisses together. Tres amusing.

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bubble99 · 26/04/2006 21:54

Sorry, ???? were for Prisoner's good idea post.

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motherinferior · 26/04/2006 21:55

A kiss is just a kiss: the fundamental things apply
(sorry)

Don't have a problem with kissing, me, but then I snog anyone I get the opportunity to snog so am bad role model for impressionable Inferiorettes.

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Harpsichordcarrier · 26/04/2006 21:56

I was thinking about this today. I was at a soft play session in the leisure centre (at one point in charge of two toddlers and two babies Shock) and I was watching the other preschoolers. I was touched by how little personal space they have, generally. When they want to get on and off equipment, the nearest adult will do. I had several children put up their arms to be lifted, or just lean against me (I was lolling about at the bottom of the bouncy castle).
It'slovely isn't it? If one of the helpers at nursery felt she wanted to kiss dd1 on the lips - fab. if dd1 didn't want to, for sure she would let them know Grin

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ThePrisoner · 26/04/2006 21:57

Oh crikey, panicpants, my form idea was supposed to be a bit of a joke! Trouble is, it probably is a good idea because it covers my back. I get so fed-up with all paperwork required by Ofsted - the parents I mind for think it's hilarious that I keep having to give them bits of paper.

I am supposed to have a Complaints Book. I've now got one - it's a blank book, and I wrote "Complaints Book" on the front. Discovered today that I am supposed to get parents to sign a piece of paper to say that I have shown them that I have a Complaints Book!!

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bubble99 · 26/04/2006 22:01

Good lord! In my day if you fell over at school you were taken away (without a chaperone) into a kind lady's office where yelllow TCP stuff was put on your knee.

Now there would be three forms in triplicate before you even got out of the playground.

Also. Is it just my failing memory or were there less 'allergies' around when you were young. I'm assuming that some of you are oldies like me.

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ThePrisoner · 26/04/2006 22:01

Harpsichordcarrier - I hope you didn't actually touch any of the other children!! Shame on you.

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Harpsichordcarrier · 26/04/2006 22:03

I am always touching children Shock
god that looks bad when I write it down Grin
I am a chronic hair ruffler, for example
and a raspberry blower
I like to blow raspberries on my baby's lip. she creases up laughing

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ThePrisoner · 26/04/2006 22:05

Bubble - I am officially old too.

When I was 6/7 years old, I had some sort of fainting spell/fit, and the headmaster picked me up and carried me in his arms (like a baby) and took me into his office. I remember how lovely and kind he was.

If he did that today, he'd be on the front page of the newspaper facing charges!!

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ThePrisoner · 26/04/2006 22:06

Don't worry Harpsi - I touch children all day long. And I get paid for it too. Now that sounds even worse!!

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bubble99 · 26/04/2006 22:07

And I spend my day having cheeky little faces peering over the kitchen baby-gate, saying ''Whatchoo cooookin, bubble?'' and coming over for cuddles at lunchtime when we all sit down to eat. What a fab job. And I'm the boss.......even fabber!!!

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blueshoes · 26/04/2006 22:08

Agree with bubbles, ThePrisoner and morningpaper about the affection shown by toddlers. I am just a mummy coming to collect dd and I have been offered kisses on the lips by another child. Was too stunned to turn my cheek. I know the carers try to (nursery rules?) but if they are not fast enough, that's fine. I think it is lovely that children are comfortable enough in the nursery to show affection to the carers.

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