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Nursery carers kissing kids on lips

176 replies

PoopyNappy · 24/04/2006 22:58

Was shocked when I picked DS up from nursery last week that the carer gace him a kiss on the lips.

Asked a friend of mine if she observed it as well and has seen the same person kissing her DS and others on the lips.

What about passing on illnesses such as meninjitis and other such things. The worst thing was that the carer had a stinking flu type cold at the time and sure enuf several days l8r DS came down with fever, rash and waking through the night. Had goto Dr's twic in one day cos DS got a rash with pinprick blood spots...

Maybe I'm being a prude here but I think kissing on lips is for close family. Kissing on cheeks is fine surely?

I'm gonna have to say something but be very tactful without trying to offend...


OP posts:
Hattie05 · 24/04/2006 23:47

As i said in my original post, common practice to not kiss children ... but if a child volunteered a kiss i would offer a cheek.

joash · 24/04/2006 23:49

NO NO NO - wouldn't be happy with this at all.

bubble99 · 24/04/2006 23:51

All of our staff are CRB checked, even our students, before we take them on for placements.

bubble99 · 24/04/2006 23:51

I thought this was required???

lockets · 24/04/2006 23:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hattie05 · 24/04/2006 23:53

What are you saying? That because they all have CRB's then lockets should feel happy leaving her child with them, and therefore happy with them kissing her child?

joash · 24/04/2006 23:53

CRB only shows what people have been caught and "done-for".

bubble99 · 24/04/2006 23:55

Well, by that token, we may all just as well pack up and go home. If you leave your child at a nursery you should feel able to trust the staff that care for them.

darkchocolate · 24/04/2006 23:57

Haven't read much of this thread.
Weird, this only just occurred to me, i only remember kissing my OWN dd on the lips once or twice! And then only when she has initiated it and it felt weird. That's probably weird in itself, huh? I kiss her all the time on the cheek tho, and we rub noses too. So, yes, i would feel weird about a nursery carer kissing dd on the lips!

when i was in primary school there was a male teacher who had a tradition of kissing the girls on the cheek on their birthdays. we used to spend the whole day running away from him and then making a big show of squealing and running to the toilets to wash our faces afterwards! i think he still teaches but i'm sure he will've had to have stopped that tradition!!

lockets · 24/04/2006 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 24/04/2006 23:58

Oh this is daft. Either you like it or you dont. If you dont like what the nursery does, dont leave your child there. I dont think anything is wrong with carers being affectionate with children, fullstop.

darkchocolate · 24/04/2006 23:59

dammit darkchocolate is an alias for another thread, i feel weird you all not knowing who i am!

...i am bourneville! Grin

cataloguequeen · 24/04/2006 23:59

It's nothing to do with safety it's just a liberty!!

joash · 24/04/2006 23:59

I just meant that people seem to be lulled into some sort of security as soon as anyone mentions CRB and people do 'slip-through-the net'. Because GS's parents were never formally charged with what they did to him, they have no record that would show up anywhere. His mum is seriously considering training as a primary school teacher. What they did was serious enough for their baby to be taken away from them permenantly with the guarantee that any child either of them have in the future will be removed from their care - yet there is nothing that would show up as 'bad' on any CRB check.

joash · 25/04/2006 00:00

agree with VVV - if you are uncomfortable, remove your child

bubble99 · 25/04/2006 00:06

We are the original 'multi-cultural' nursery. Our manager is Lebanese, lived in Africa, came to the UK at 12 and was educated here. Two other staff were born in Iran, one is second generation Pakistani, and another is from Slovakia. We also have two 'natives.' All of these women are from cultures where the concept of 'family' is strong. They are professional and also adore children. I could not implement a 'no kissing' policy at our nursery as it would go against everything they stand for. Our children are cuddled and loved and safe. It would not occur to any of them to foist kisses on unwilling children.

LeahE · 25/04/2006 00:07

just because you like and trust people - does that mean that you would happily kiss them on the lips? I believe in only putting my child through something that i would happily do myself.

Just because I like and trust someone doesn't mean that I'd happily let them wipe my bottom, but I let the staff at nursery change DS's nappy (BTW, if I were worried about the staff at DS's nursery then I'd be much much much much much much more worried about that than about a peck on the lips).

Or, less extreme, juat because I like and trust someone doesn't mean that I'd happily sit on their lap for a cuddle, but I don't think I'm "putting my child through something" when he sits on a carer's lap for a cuddle. There are different cultural norms and emotional needs for children and for adults.

I don't think anyone's suggested forcing an unwilling child into a kiss -- that's clearly inappropriate. And so far as I remember evryone's agreed that if PoopyNappy (or any other parent) is uncomfortable about the situation, for whatever reason, she should speak up.

Hattie05 · 25/04/2006 00:15

I can honestly say that i am never going to trust anyone 100% other myself and dp to care for my children. That is a fact of life, we do our best to trust our judgements etc, all i was saying is that CRB is not always a reason to trust!

Good point Leah about the bum wiping - i can't say i'd be keen on letting anyone wipe mine Wink.

But i still can't help but squirm at the thought of my child kissing other people on the lips, and i still think it is good practice for nursery which is a common breeding ground for germs anyway to try and avoid kissing going on on the lips.

ThePrisoner · 25/04/2006 00:34

My minded children have sometimes given me kisses on the lips, and I have sometimes been rewarded with an occasional tongue or (perhaps worse!) ... snot!!! Yuk yuk yuk!!

Skribble · 25/04/2006 00:41

Skimmed over thread but as a nursery nurse I personaly wouldn't kiss children, if they wanted a kiss I would aim for the cheek to avoid snots etc. Thats just my choice, I picked up enough colds and bugs anyway. I wouldn't kiss friends children either just cuddles or again offer a cheek.

Different perhaps at CM where they have less children and might form closer bonds.

belleofball · 25/04/2006 23:52

We had an incident at our nursery a few yrs ago.
The teacher was calling children back for a kiss,whether they wanted one or not! A few children felt V.uncomfortable with this and didn't want to go to school.
Some mums complained and the teacher was told not to kiss anymore.
I think if the child/mum isn't comfortable with a situation they are quite right to step in,whether anyone thinks it is stupid or not.

ThePrisoner · 25/04/2006 23:58

Sometimes, my minded children have requested that not only should I kiss them goodbye, I should also kiss mummy or daddy!


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belleofball · 26/04/2006 00:03

Did you prisoner?Grin

ThePrisoner · 26/04/2006 01:26

Nah - just settled for a group hug Grin

jabberwocky · 26/04/2006 02:41

Well, I will fully admit to being a bit OCD when it comes to germs. I try to control it but I really, really hate it when anyone kisses ds on the lips. So, in a word, yes, it would bother me.

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