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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

DD to start nursery 5 days a week

40 replies

operababe · 01/11/2005 11:45

Going back to work on 6 Dec - have found a nursery but will have to leave DD there 5 days a week from 8am to 7pm. She is 6 months. Have asked employer to do a 4 day week (having 1 full day or 2 1/2 days off) and they have said no. Normal hours are 10 til 6 and they have agreed for me to do 9.30 til 5.30 which gives me just enough time to travel home to pick DD up by 7pm. Already going to have to pay extra to keep her there until 7pm. BUT I am desperate at the thought of her being there for so long. Are there any other Mums out there who have to do this?? It makes me cry each time I think about it. Nursery advises a 3 week settling in period so we're going to start on 14 Nov. I have to go back to work for financial reasons but if I want to keep my job (which I love) I have to do those hours full time. It's getting so close and I'm just at my wits end. Will it be detrimental to her?

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HappyMumof2 · 01/11/2005 16:25

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Original poster

operababe · 01/11/2005 17:20

I guess I just feel that a nursery would be more accountable. I have friends who have wonderful CMs and are very happy with the level of care so I don't have any thing to base this on other than a gut feeling. But let's face it the one person I really want looking after DD is me and as it stands at the moment I can't do that.

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HappyMumof2 · 01/11/2005 17:25

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Original poster

operababe · 01/11/2005 17:44

Thanks HappyMum, I will do that.

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bunyanvillas · 04/11/2005 05:14

Hi, Operababe. I, too have been in a similar situation recently. I am an exec pa and wanted to reduce my working hours. My boss grudgingly conceded to a 4 day week - however, my hours (similar to yours) were still long, especially factoring in a 2 hour commute each day. I ended up resigning last week and plan to look for a local job which will pay less, so we'll just have to really cut back and eat beans on toast for a while! It's all a bit daunting. My baby is going to nursery, too, as I also felt that I wanted accountability - plus I didn't want my daughter to be hauled in and out of the car/buggy for school runs each day! I know there are mixed comments about nurseries on this board, but everyone will always have their own opinion, and each time I have visited the nursery for "settling in", I have been very impressed with how it is all run and have noted how happy the babies seem to be. I REALLY sympathise with your situation, it is very hard for us mums who have to return to work. Please do try and put pressure on your employer. Is there any way you can do a job share with someone? This seems to be very common these days. Good luck!

bobbybob · 04/11/2005 05:35

Please look for a new job opera babe - when you say you love your job, you actually mean that you loved it several months ago when it didn't mean leaving your dd in a nursery for 11 hours and day and then rushing to pick her up, before they refused your request for part time, flexi time.

With a 1.5 hour commute each way even if you earnt less locally, the savings in transport and nursery would make up some slack.

I don't have any experience of whether this would be hard on your dd. My guess is that babies are very resilient and she would be fine. I am however worried about you. It seems a lot to take on.

dinny · 04/11/2005 08:16

good post, Bobbybob - agree totally.

Operababe, would you not consider a childminder? At least there would be continuity for your dd (something nurseries can't guarantee)?

in answer to your question, yes, I think so many hours at a chain nursery would be derimental to your dd - and you. sorry, probably not what you want to hear. I'll probably get shot down in flames for this...

lucykate · 04/11/2005 08:52

i went back to work when dd was 5 and a half months, she went to a childminder 8am-5.30pm 5 days a week and then moved at the age of 2 to do the same hours at a nursery. there's no doubt that if you've been off on maternity leave with her that when you're back at work its going to be a big change for both of you. but i don't think it will be detrimental to her, our dd has grown into a very confident, well rounded nearly 4 yr old. i think unfortunatley any worries about overstimulation etc have to go out the window when going back to work is a neccessity, thats what we had to do. we have no family nearby that can help out. if the nursery advise a 3 week settling in period, how are you going about this, is she starting full time straight away or are you gradually building the hours up?. i would gradually build it up if you can. good luck for your first day back, i remember what it was like,. i cried all the way in, but it did gradually get better.

Groggymama · 04/11/2005 09:44

Operababe I had no choice but to go back full time and put ds1 into full time childcare and am going to do the same with ds2 in Feb. Your nursery sounds good and it won't be detrimental to your dd but working all those hours may be detrimental to your stress levels cos you'll be rushing around like a blue arsed fly. Once you settle into a routine with it you'll be fine though.

jimmy2 · 07/11/2005 18:15

Hi I too was in a similar situation. It is really hard for the parent, but children do adjust. My little boy is at the nursery 5 days a week 8 to 6 & loves it. These days it is very hard to get the simpathy from a boss regarding children and childcare. It does make me cross as you are obviously dedicated to your job and they should be gratful that you were prepared to go back full time. I have to say that it is normal to feel so guilty, but I am sure it will work out. I also get the feeling that you are uncomfortable fighting this case with your boss & I can totally understand that. Good Luck

Original poster

operababe · 16/11/2005 15:38

Don't know if any of you lovely people who posted will read this but I've been away and not checked MN for a while. I ended up taking the decision to delay my return to work and take up my full 52 weeks leave. DH and I talked it through again and even though we are going to be poor as church mice we think we will make it work. Both families and our friends with kids agree I've made the right decision. I am hugely relieved. I know it is delaying the inevitable but I feel that starting nursery at 1 is better than at 6 months. Who knows I might find a job closer to home in the meantime and if I don't I'm going to fight for more flexible working. I don't feel quite so indebted to my work now they've been arsey about my hours. So I'm a VERY happy bunny and am looking forward to spending another 6 months as a full time Mum. . Thanks again!x

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handlemecarefully · 16/11/2005 15:40

Excellent news operababe!

gingerbear · 16/11/2005 15:40

I am glad things have worked out. Thanks for the update.

HappyMumof2 · 17/11/2005 18:43

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Original poster

operababe · 18/11/2005 16:42

Thx HappyMum x

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