Realised this year how much my 19 year old just doesn't know

[davidssdt]

Bit of a random one. My eldest is 19 and it's only this year I've properly clocked how much genuinely useful "adult life" stuff just never gets covered in school - not because teachers don't try, but probably more that there's never actually time carved out for it.
I had to sit down and explain what a mortgage actually is and why an unpaid phone bill can damage your credit file for years, because none of that had ever come up in school. Also had the apprenticeship vs uni conversation recently and realised there's no real structured way for them to weigh that up - it's basically left to them and whoever they last spoke to.
So for full disclosure, I'm actually building something around this (a curriculum site for 16-25s) but not naming it here as I don't want this to read as a plug. I'm genuinely just curious what other parents experience has been around this. What's the thing your teenager had absolutely no clue about until they had to learn the hard way?

There are now financial workshops starting in primary, often stuff provided by banks directly as part of ESG like Metro bank workshop.

The problem state primaries often face in taking kids to free workshops, local libraries etc etc lots of cultural capital stuff is that they need parent volunteers to accompany the trips to make it safe. In some schools, parents just do not help out!

I think the thing that should be taught is a Ted Lasso quote, "Be curious, not judgemental" I actually saw a TikTok of a teacher in a primary school in the US and she was teaching her class about more than one thought. So if you see someone dribbling a basketball and they are terrible, your first thought is they are terrible, your second thought can be I wonder if this is their first time, or aren't they brave doing that knowing that they aren't great at it yet because it takes practise. Or offer them some help.

My nephew who is in his twenties admitted that he thought a university my child was going to was down south. Why with the "rectangle of knowledge" in his hand did he not just check that? Foster curiosity, look stuff up, research. That should be taught.

As for mortgages/rent we taught our children this but they also did it in school as a PSHE day with a lucky dip for a job and salaries, looked up mortgage calculators and then went onto Rightmove! Learned about council tax, utilities, insurance etc. Same with uni/apprenticeships, this came at sixth form level but should be earlier.

A lot of children don't have great relationships with their parents. Half of Ds's mates couldn't wait to leave home for uni sas they barely spoke to their parents. So expecting all parents to have these types of conversations is wishful thinking.

Whilst I don't absolve parents from their responsibilities, I do think the school curriculum should cover more life skills. No one needs to be taking 10 or more GCSEs and if they weren't, perhaps the time available could be used for practical knowledge.

This thread does show the sad attitude that if teaching something at school that doesn't have an exam and GCSE grade at the end of it then it's a "doss" lesson that no one takes seriously.
Not everything taught at school should be about getting an exam grade out of it.

Barclays do this already

barclayslifeskills.com/i-want-to-get-to-grips-with-money-and-fraud/school/

BIN DAY.

NDNs 22yo couldn't work out it was bin day from all of the wheelie bins parked up around the estate when he came home in his car at 3am...
The bins were emptied early - as usual - around 7am...but not NDNs.
It was interesting watching a <cough> grown man try to squeeze even more bin bags into a full bin for the next 12 days.

You should have been covering this since she was a younger child, not waiting until now to monetise it.

Also there is an incredible amount of this information for young people online. But good luck to you 😂

@davidssdt Please include things like location of the stop cock and fuse box too!
Also the need for breakdown cover if they have a car.

One of the best skills teens can get is just the ability to research, work out if it’s a good source and not just take all your info n from one source or website, there’s already great financial education sites, MSE, various banks have teen learning pages of full sites, others have already been mention but Lloyds banking academy for one.
Sites with info on apprenticeships, sites with info on cooking basic meals and so on. I don’t think a one shop site is really needed and if your teenager is already uninterested in the many sites available that explains all this I doubt one more will make a difference

Surely these things are the responsibility of the parents? Isn’t it just part of life that you discuss (and thereby educate) your kids on life’s practical matters as they grow up?

We have taught our kids life skills, because that is part and parcel of being a parent. Teaching them how the world works, how to manage money, make decisions, take responsibility and prepare for adulthood is primarily the responsibility of the parents and not schools.

Surely it’s a parent’s jobs to educate their children in budgeting, what a mortgage is, pensions etc?!
My 11 and 13 year old boys know what a mortgage is, what an interest rate is, ISA’s budgeting, apprenticeships, bank accounts as well as how to operate the washing machine, oven, run a hoover around and the cleaning products required to do their rooms.
The last few years with their birthday/Christmas money they’ve sat down worked out the cheapest place to get the items they want, which of their accounts has the best interest rates to pop the surplus into etc
I certainly wouldn’t use an app/programme or expect the schools to do this, it’s our jobs as parents to equip our children with all the knowledge we ourselves have.

Yes it should be and my parents did with me.

But if my parents hadn't then I would have been clueless.

Martin Lewis's site is a very good resource.

Why would those things be covered in school?

Kids who opt for business and finance qualifications will know what a mortgage or credit score is, as will kids who watch financial videos on social media (my similar age son loves an influencer who goes through couple’s budgets). What did your son think would happen if he didn’t pay bills on time? My similar aged son is aware of debt collection being a job so would probably assume that.

IMO there’s no need to know details like how to apply for a mortgage until later when there will be hundreds of videos online to explain it.

If you can’t teach that sort of thing yourself and have younger kids then it’s worth suggesting that they take finance related qualifications for their GCSE or A-level options. Many schools have Young Enterprise sort of clubs and there’s programmes like Dragon’s Den which might help awareness.

I explained things like interest rates when my kids got their first card or when they asked me why I used my debit card rather than my credit card at the shops. They were also dismayed when they looked at their first bank statement and saw how little interest they got on savings and asked why it wasn’t a high percentage like the percentages they see on loan and credit card advertising.

Christ, what do you think your job as a parent is?

I covered this in Business Studies A-level in the 90s

It will have been covered in physics. I don't remember it because I used to skive physics (I'm thick).

I read some of your comments before the original post got deleted so I have paid MN and got them to preserve your comments just so I can reply to each of you. Please bear with me and thanks for you input so far.

This is mumsnet, full of educated, middle class parents.

There is a whole world out there of uneducated, shit parents who don't offer guidance to their DC. Do those young people just get ignored?

Well apparently OP is one of those uneducated, shit parents who doesn't offer guidance to their DC. Given he's got such a hopelessly ignorant 19 year old.

Unless that's a lie and this is just an advert

Compound interest

There’s a woman somewhere on Instagram who does short videos for care leavers on how to…..a couple I saw were how to wash your feet and how to wash crockery in the sink. If you don’t come from the kind of family who does {insert random thing} or you’ve simply not been around people {many foster placements} then you won’t know, and you don’t know what you don’t know. So this is a great idea OP.

Are you including mental health? How to look after it, how to recognise a slide down, what to do about it, how to get a GP, what to do if you think you’re ill, how to get an electric/whatever provider, how to read a meter, how to change provider, how to pay a bill, the list could be endless.

One useful bit is ‘how to find out information that isn’t in the app’.
How to reach out for help when you are struggling with….a list of various things.

How to rent a home that seems legit and isn’t a scam.
What a basic and cheap diet looks like and what it costs. How to make that basic diet a bit better with more money, but still inexpensive.
Christmas. Birthdays.

I wish that as a young person I’d had access to what you’re creating. It is very needed. Thank you.

Maybe you should have spent less time looking for ideas to monetize and more time parenting.

I feel ridiculous the things I explain to my 3 year old but I want to set the tone for explaining normal, common life things to her just for this reason.

Now go do your market research somewhere else.

We are too busy potty training them and showing them how to use cutlery to teach them about mortgages.

To all those "parents should do it". What about the kids of parents who can't or won't do it? There needs to be a safety net for them or they're going to end up dependent/clueless adults if "life skills" aren't taught in schools. Why do schools teach cooking as surely that's the parent's job too? Personally, I think the school system is no longer fit for purpose and needs some radical modernisation.