Does anyone actually know what kind of week their family is about to have — before it happens?

[FamilyFlowDad]

Message:
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. We spend enormous energy reacting to difficult family moments — the meltdown on Tuesday, the argument on Sunday night, the week that just felt heavier than usual for no obvious reason. But we rarely see them coming.
I'm a dad based in Manchester and I've spent the last few months quietly building something around this exact problem. It's called FamilyFlow UK — a British family app that tries to notice the emotional patterns in your week before they become difficult evenings. Not therapy. Not a to-do list. Something quieter.
It takes about 30 seconds a day. Free for 5 days, then £4.99/month.
Looking for honest British families to tell me if this actually makes any difference — or if I've built something completely pointless. No card needed to try it.
Link: https://familyflowuk.com/?ref=ZUMKDXN
Be as brutal as you like. I genuinely need to know.

The app isn’t for me but I think you’ve had a really rude reception on here! Good luck with it all.

Fair question 😄
Yes, I used AI to help write parts of the post. I'm much better at building things than writing about them, if I'm honest.
The idea itself wasn't AI though. It came from real life. There was a period where every week seemed to follow the same pattern in our house — we'd get to Thursday and wonder why everyone was suddenly exhausted and snappy. My wife often spotted it before I did.
I started building something for our own family first, then wondered whether other families might find it useful too.
To be honest, some of the feedback on this thread has probably been more valuable than anything AI has produced. A few comments have already made me rethink how I explain the app.
Whether it's genuinely useful or not is for real families to decide, not me.

WillyCroakit — eight years on here, you probably know more about what British families actually need than most people I could pay to tell me 😄 No pitch, no pressure — I'm just genuinely curious what you'd make of it if you ever get a chance to have a look. Some of what's been said on this thread has already changed things, so I'd value your honest view — good, bad, or somewhere in between.

I’m not sure that this is a problem that needs solving with an app? I did hear a collective MN jaw-tightening and tooth-grinding when you said that you had felt distant from what was happening at home, or whatever your exact description was! That’s possibly more by of a ‘you’ problem than an ‘app everyone needs’ problem…

My own DH has a pretty high pressure role and he has never been out of touch with what is going on at home, even when travelling internationally, because a) he wants to know and b) I jolly well tell him!

I am not sure that the mental health or wellbeing elements sit very comfortably - feel a little patronising perhaps?

Read up on the ‘mental load’…

But I do think there is some value in the shared-calendar elements and perhaps some option to reassign tasks between parents? So I could reassign a task to another family member.

That's probably fair. It started because our weeks kept getting away from us and I always seemed to be the last one to notice. Doesn't mean everyone has the same problem though. The mental load thing has come up a few times this week. Definitely given me something to think about. The task reassignment idea is interesting too. Hadn't looked at it that way before. Thanks for the honest feedback

Everything you have written is generated AI the long hyphens are a dead giveaway 🤣

Ive only had a quick look but first reaction - I actually feel this is really sad. Or it’s maybe stereotypical male/female different ways of thinking and I just don’t get it. But it’s as if you’re trying to get a machine to help you tune into your own feelings, and to do your emotional regulation for you. Honestly I think you’d be better off practicing meditation and getting to see the signals in your own body and mind that you are beginning to get stressed, so that you can change course.

Ask people in your family how they are feeling, or even better, pay attention and respond, rather than tap it into an app.

That's a fair challenge honestly. You're probably right that the real answer is just paying more attention — and no app fixes that if the intention isn't there. I think I built it because the intention was there but the awareness wasn't. Whether that's something an app can help with or not is a genuinely good question. I don't have a certain answer to that yet.

That's really kind, thank you. Mumsnet has actually been more useful than anything else I've tried — honest feedback is hard to find. Appreciate you saying that.

That's a fair challenge honestly. You're probably right that the real answer is just paying more attention — and no app fixes that if the intention isn't there. I think I built it because the intention was there but the awareness wasn't. Whether that's something an app can help with or not is a genuinely good question. I don't have a certain answer to that yet.

I think the main issue is that when a family is under pressure then that is the moment when the parents are least likely to have time to put all the details into an app, as so much of it is in the mental juggling of a million small tasks anyway.

’Remember to ask music teacher about next week’s lesson as DC will be on school trip’ takes longer to write than to actually do, so is simpler to hold in one’s head. But this is where it all starts to build up, especially on women.

But I do think the task reassignment for bigger or regular tasks could help.

That's a really good point actually. The busiest weeks are probably the exact weeks when nobody wants another thing to update. The bit about bigger jobs and regular jobs is interesting though. A few people have mentioned that now. Plenty for me to think about. Thanks for taking the time to look at it

Honestly, you just sound unobservant and unattuned to the people around you.

I clicked on it wondering if there was a brief summary of what it does, didn’t have time to take a tour, went back into it to take the tour and it seems to recognise me as a previous visitor so wants me to login (I didn’t create an account) and the option to take a tour has gone.

i have 3 kids, am in my late 40’s and both my husband and I work full time. I am currently deleting apps and most SM aside from mumsnet where I also spend far too much time as I’m sick of spending precious time online so I am definitely not your target audience (although it sounds like I should be) but I thought I’d have a look and try and give you some fair feedback but obviously can’t as I can’t do the tour but really I want less in my life not more and a family app would probably tip me over the edge! We’re cranky by Thursday because it has been a long busy week of school, work and clubs. That’s pretty obvious so I don’t really get how an app can reduce that for us? You might be better off trying to explain it in your own words and not using AI to try and explain it for you.

Hi, I have had a look at the tour,

I think the headline is that anything to reduce mental load needs to not add to the mental load. There is a possible benefit to it, but there were parts that made me think that you are coming at it from a very male perspective, which is why I believe you have had the feedback you have had.

A digital family calendar is useful, but other solutions only require a one-off payment and come with a flat screen for the kitchen. From working with clinical systems, much of the feedback you are getting is similar to what I have heard before. Yes, there is power in the data you add, but the value of that information comes at a time cost in manually inputting the information. If your app is integrated with calendars and other apps, then maybe being a central place would be more attractive, with more by-product reporting.

I speak from having used Noom, intimately us and better me. I am someone who does like an app, but inherently, you start well but end up using only limited functionality. If you want it to be successful, you certainly need more female input to do that. I think you need to look and read more widely than your own experience. Have a read of "This Is How Your Marriage Ends" by Mat Fry and "Fair Play" by Eve Rodsky

I would also join up here on MN, change your username and listen and learn. You may find that you don't need an appt when you've been on here a while x

Such a good post, @FamilyFlowDad , read and learn.
Also love the user name @WillyCroakit ! 😂

The tour disappearing is definitely my fault, so thanks for pointing that out.
And I completely get what you're saying about wanting less, not more. I think a lot of people probably feel the same. The whole reason I started building it was because our weeks seemed to get away from us, but that doesn't automatically mean another app is the answer.
Useful feedback though. Thank you for taking the time to have a look.

That's really helpful, thank you.
The point about anything reducing mental load needing not to add to it has stuck with me. I think that's probably the biggest challenge I've got.
I've ordered both books and I'll give them a read.
And yes, I suspect I need to spend a bit more time listening before building anything else.

Hi everyone, Just a quick update. I've spent the last few days fixing a few of the issues that were mentioned here, including the Google Calendar sync and some sign-up problems that came up during testing. If anyone has had another look recently, I'd really appreciate any honest feedback. Even if it's just "I got stuck here" or "I don't understand what this bit does", that's genuinely useful. I'm still learning and trying to improve it, so all feedback is welcome. Thanks again for all the comments and suggestions so far.

Hi Willy, Hope you don't mind me messaging. I've been making a few changes to FamilyFlow based on the feedback from the thread and was wondering if you could do me a favour when you've got a spare couple of minutes. Would you mind having a quick look at the homepage and telling me, in your own words, what you think the app actually does? No need to sign up or spend ages on it. I'm just trying to work out whether the site explains things clearly or whether I'm too close to it to see what's obvious and what isn't. Also, if anything doesn't make sense or puts you off, I'd rather hear that than a polite answer. Thanks for all your feedback so far. It's been genuinely useful. Cheers

It’s just so cringe. Like the OP can’t be bothered to write them. Why should mumsnet bother to reply?

so infuriatingly AI which is just embarrassing No pitch, no pressure — I'm just genuinely curious what you'd make of it if you ever get a chance to have a look. Some of what's been said on this thread has already changed things, so I'd value your honest view — good, bad, or somewhere in between.

Fair point, to be honest.
I'm probably overthinking what I write because I've spent so long building the app and asking for feedback.
Really, I'm just trying to work out whether it's useful or not. Some of the comments on here have helped me see things differently, and a few have pointed out things I wouldn't have spotted myself.
I'll stop cluttering up the thread now.
Thanks to everyone who's taken the time to have a look and share their thoughts.

To answer your original question- *Does anyone actually know what kind of week their family is about to have — before it happens? *
Yes. When my DH is away we will have a great week, stress free week with a whole lot more laughter. And we know this will happen as soon as his diary is confirmed the week before. Then, when he gets back - its a shite week again. Everyone walking on egg shells. Totally predictable. Just need a work calendar to predict.

Good luck with your app.

An app for men to compensate for their lack of emotional perception might be a good thing. I suspect that if they could frame human expressions, words, tone as data input points, they might start to actually notice them and give them a bit more headspace.

A bit like food diaries. The process of inputting is the point, really, to help you notice.

It would be a kind of gamified emotional training.

I’ve tried clicking on your links and it still asks for email & password. Can we just have a look at it without registering?