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Original poster

Afro hair is not allowed in primary school

295 replies

Mumkris · 07/09/2018 16:10

Hello everyone,
I am really struggling to understand why my son’s hair is not allowed in school. He is biracial and he loves his gorgeous curly hair. His primary school, however insists that he should cut it or plait his hair as it’s causing a distraction and they “cannot have that”?!
I read their hair policy and there is nothing against that. His hair is long but not long enough to be tied back. It is what it is - natural!

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 08/09/2018 15:55

Why the fuck do people ask if they can touch your hair Mistress? That’s really invasive!

I’d comment on lovely hair, but I’d comment on lovely hair on anyone who had it. It wouldn’t even occur to me to ask to touch it Confused

RebelRogue · 08/09/2018 16:27

We have the issue with touching at my school. Mainly with the very young kids. "But it's sooo cute and fluffy Miss!". Normally that's sorted with a talk doing something like "yes,your nose is also cute. Can i touch it? Can i squeeze it? Can i squish it? Not let's see how many pencils we can fit in there! Can I pull it see if it gets longer? Etc"
Normally the first two are met with yes and lots of giggles and by the end they get the point.

jewel1968 · 08/09/2018 16:31

I know. I find myself thinking 'in this day and age' a lot! The science lesson was the most shocking. Picture the scene - we are sitting in a cafe when out of the blue a woman arrives with her 2 young children and proceeded to touch DD's hair and then turned to her kids and explained that the bonds in curly hair were different to their straight hair. I was so shocked I didn't say anything. Her youngest then started to cry.

SoupDragon · 08/09/2018 16:31

I have to confess, I would love to touch Afro hair as I have no idea what it is like. However, I would never do this as it is so bloody rude!!

MistressDeeCee · 08/09/2018 17:44

YeTalkShiteHen I just don't know why. & I'm not the only one, it's happened to friends and their DCs too. & it's regularly mentioned online. Likewise if I someone has a nice hairstyle I will comment but what the hell would I touch their hair for?

There was a thread on MN not so long ago, about mixed race people. A guy was saying he finds racial mixes 'interesting' and thought touching their hair (unasked!) or commenting on mix was a 'compliment'.

He would not accept that he was a creep, and he was actually on thread aiming to tell black people how they should feel about this. My greatest wish is that he's touched someone and got knocked the fuck out by now.

Aintgottimetobleed · 08/09/2018 18:17

I would just get his hair cut. Would be easier in the long run.

YeTalkShiteHen · 08/09/2018 18:23

Likewise if I someone has a nice hairstyle I will comment but what the hell would I touch their hair for?

Exactly! I just can’t imagine a situation where it would be ok to touch someone’s hair without invitation. Rude, rude and also really bloody arrogant.

I hope he’s been knocked the fuck out too! What a dick.

Why can’t people appreciate beautiful hair without being so invasive?

Original poster
Mumkris · 08/09/2018 18:25

No! He doesn’t want to cut his hair and I am not forcing him.

OP posts:
PAlm5 · 08/09/2018 18:25

People ask to touch my hair regularly! It's odd. I always say no...

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 08/09/2018 18:26

Are we talking ‘Perry from Diversity’? Cos that is cool!

CaffeineAndCrochet · 08/09/2018 18:28

I hope you kick up a fuss, OP. The way your son is being treated is absolutely unacceptable.

On another note, I find this thread a perfect example of why cultural appropriation is a problem.

RollaCola84 · 08/09/2018 18:40

I'm apalled at some of the downright racist comments on here. Do some people genuinely not see that describing natural, afro hair as "messy" and in need of tidying is racist ? I have zero direct experience of afro hair but it's not hard to see it grows, behaves and needs to be treated differently from Caucasian hair.

I've had a bob in one form or another since I was about 6 and whilst I was at school it ranged from just below my ears to around the base of my neck and I was never asked to tie it back (it's so fly away it wouldn't stay neat if I tried). One teacher did suggest a headband but that doesn't really work with glasses !

I hope the school listens to reason.

Carrrotsandcauliflower · 08/09/2018 18:42

I’ve got super curly collar length hair and people always touch it- normally people I’ve just met. It has never offended me. I think people are drawn to touch it because it has a tactile quality.

Starlighter · 08/09/2018 18:45

Surely this is racism?!

And has the school not got anything better to do?! Honestly.

Don’t give in OP.

KatyMac · 08/09/2018 19:14

Make a fuss

I have made a lifetime of a fuss

The midwife who said DD's hair was so long she cold twist her fingers in it and pull her out

The time in spain DD(3) was crying for a hat as everyone kept touching her hair

The ballet teacher who suggested I "maybe brush it for her exam?"

I could go on but it's soul destroying In the 21st Century !!!

Original poster
Mumkris · 08/09/2018 19:46

@KatyMac and @jewel1968

Did you have people saying to you
“Oh! I didn’t know it is your child”, looking shocked 😮 after you told them not to be rude or not to touch your child etc?

OP posts:
KatyMac · 08/09/2018 19:51

Yes & the "Oh you're the mum of the little black girl!" well actually she is mixed!! Hmm

Now an actress - can you explain why as a mixed person she may apply for jobs advertising for mixed actors and ones advertising for black actors but not ones advertising for white actors?? She is as much (more possibly) white as she is black!

continuallychargingmyphone · 08/09/2018 20:16

Well - I do understand that katy to be honest. Obviously if she was very light skinned and didn’t have Afro hair it would be different.

KatyMac · 08/09/2018 20:20

Yes but about 95% of all acting jobs are 'white' because writers/directors/producers 'forget' that black and mixed people take part in life too; they aren't always the cleaner/shop assistant/angry black woman or drug dealer.

Most of the time it's irrelevent what colour the character is

continuallychargingmyphone · 08/09/2018 20:23

Yes of course. But just the same if a white actress is ‘needed’ for the role (not just in cases where it’s irrelevant if you see what I mean) I can understand why a mixed race person might not be suited even though some of their heritage is white.

SueVide · 08/09/2018 20:26

But if that's the case Continually why would they be suitable to play a black character?

jewel1968 · 08/09/2018 20:27

No not had people express surprise of my being their mother but as a family we do get a lot of looks when out and about I like to think it is because we are such an attractive family 😀. Recently an elderly black lady did stop to tell us how much she loved their hair which does make up a little bit for the unpleasant encounters.

I was pondering why my kids never had a problem in their school particularly in the strict secondary school when I remembered the head teacher in both schools had biracial children. Might be a factor?

continuallychargingmyphone · 08/09/2018 20:29

Because mixed race people usually take after the darker skinned parent more than the white parent (assuming that’s the mix we are talking about.) So in the case of a black and white couple the children will usually have dark skin and eyes and afro hair.

KatyMac · 08/09/2018 20:31

That's a very broad steriotype that isn't actually true

And brings to mind the conversation I had with a police officer in the ealry 90's (before I met DH) about the kid that had just mugged me - I described him as mixed but very light skinned and the PC said 'so he was black then'

DD has white friends with darker skin than hers

jewel1968 · 08/09/2018 20:32

What I would love is for Meghan to sport a curly hair styles.