Afro hair is not allowed in primary school

[Mumkris]

Hello everyone,
I am really struggling to understand why my son’s hair is not allowed in school. He is biracial and he loves his gorgeous curly hair. His primary school, however insists that he should cut it or plait his hair as it’s causing a distraction and they “cannot have that”?!
I read their hair policy and there is nothing against that. His hair is long but not long enough to be tied back. It is what it is - natural!

Ffs. This is insulting. His hair may be different to the rest of the pupils but that does not make it wrong.

We don’t see race in the uk now. How I wish this were true.

The bizarre thing is that schools have been sending (white) pupils home for having extreme hair styles, ie rainbow colours, Number 1 shaves, undercuts and funky patterns. Rules about "hair must be natural" get bandied about (next to DailyMail sad faces).
Yet your son is being targeted for having natural hair, and being told that he should braid it.
I bet if a white boy turned up with their hair in "cornrows', he would be sent home from some schools

Well said! @BreakfastAtSquiffanys

I bet if a white boy turned up with their hair in "cornrows', he would be sent home from some schools.

Definitely. It wouldn't be seen as keeping his hair neat or natural. It'd be an "out there" hairstyle.

DPs son has a friend who corn rowed his hair back in the schooldays and was sent home from school. His mum is white, dad is mixed race. He looks white. He has relatives who corn row their hair. His aunt did his hair. It's a normal cultural hairstyle to him, and that's exactly what his parents told the school when they both went there to sort this issue out.

But all the school saw was "white boy with corn rows" and since his hair was neat then seems to me the only reason they were bothered is because he is white (to their eye)

It doesn't surprise me that a mixed race boy's afro hair is deemed unacceptable. If he braids it they'll likely then complain that's not neat enough either in their role of The Hair Police

It's cane rows not corn rows - MN is changing my speech😁

Hello, lovely people!
I had 2 meetings with HT since I handed my letters.
The decision is that my son’s hair can be long, and when it’s long enough he should have it tied back. Finally his hair is fine, we don’t have to cut it or braid it.
I have nothing in writing from school although I asked for a written explanation.
I have asked that all staff are aware of this issue. The answer is no, they won’t have a meeting with all staff. If any issues, my son needs to explain to school staff that “It has been discussed with my class teacher and my parents. Go and speak to my class teacher”.
I said that my son deserves an apology for the way he was treated. The HT said no, it’s their job to monitor hairstyles and “it’s just school life”!

So the school accepts that you are right but won't admit that they were wrong.
So a kind of partial victory

Glad that you have been able to resolve this with the HT. As Breakfast says, they don't want to admit to being in the wrong.
I'd personally be minded to push for getting this in writing as that way there can be no doubt that your DS's hair does not contravene any rules.

I'd probably pop them a note - so it's in writing, email really - and say "please can you reassure me that this will not happen to another child".

really it's extreme racism.

Hmm. Not entirely satisfactory, is it. Your son should not have the responsibility of explaining to teachers what has been agreed about his (and indeed any other child who has Afro hair) hair. The staff should know what the situation is and not put him in that position.

I think I would nudge them to confirm their position in writing.

Well the way get around the puttings in writing is to email them back with a thank you for meeting with me on xx date and to confirm the conversation and what the outcome was in the meeting
Then they can either deny or confirm it

RiverTam "The staff should know what the situation is and not put him in that position."

exactly. and not telling staff about it implies it's about one child when it isn't really.

They never reply to my emails. It’s all done through discussions. I take it as nothing has changed or done to prevent this happening in the future, because they don’t want anybody to know even their staff. Just in this particular case, with this particular child, they will accept it.
How difficult is it to say, “I am sorry I was wrong. Rest assured this won’t happen again”?

My white son in Y5 has very messy and untidy hair at the moment, he refuse to get it cut but it's not long enough to tie back. It has no style or reason to it and his fringe just hangs in his eyes. I bet your school would not tell him to tidy it up!

He will cut it eventually but I can't be bothered to fight this at the moment.

YANBU!!!
I was so surprised to read your OP that I read the comments clutching at straws thinking that maybe your sons hair was not just Afro, but exceptionally styled in some way that was unnecessary and attention seeking. You’ve confirmed that’s not the case.
I’m really shocked at a London school racially discriminating so blatantly.
I know more people are opting for natural hair, but it’s stil depressingly rare in certain professions and in the media. It’s one of those areas where we actually seem to have backwards rather than forwards since the 1970s (I’m also thinking of the current ubiquity of pink and girly clothing and long hair for little girls compared to my dungaree/jeans/ cords clad peers who mostly had short hair)
I wish you success. It’s disgraceful that they are trying to pressure into having your son’s hair braided, which is definitely uncomfortable, at least at first, and should therefore only be a genuine personal choice, like some of us choose to wear heels some of the time despite the discomfort.
It's none of my fucking business as I’m not black and my children are white Caucasian, but I wish that natural hair was more prevalent. Not just because it looks great, but because it’s supression clearly derived from racism and the supremacy of a white beauty aesthetic. Obviously people should have a choice, but it’s expensive and time consuming to straighten and style Afro hair as if it were naturally straight hair, so it can only be fashion and cultural pressure that makes natural hair a less common choice.
You must be proud if your lad! 💐

When youngest DD was in infants she had a teacher who said girls with long hair had to tie it back even when they didn't have P.E
She was a bit of a battleaxe had some funny ideas , she forbade girls from wearing boots in winter, I don't mean Uggs, she wouldn't allow the lovely Clarks or Startrite winter boots.

I agree about Afro hair being resistant to nits, my eldest has loads of mixed race spirally hair and never caught nits but my youngest DD who has more European hair gets them.

If they don’t reply to your email that’s fine if you ever need to take this further in any way if they haven’t denied it in a return email agreement with what you said could be assumed so I’d still follow up with an as discussed email.

Your son's school is more obsessive about afro hair than the British army!!

I hope he keeps his lively afro hair.

DH has afro hair and is in the British Army, although short back and sides are the norm and what is expected, if he is deployed for months his hair naturally grows out. He's lucky in that his curls are very tight, but if he combs them out it's 5 times the size. He came back from Afghanistan looking like a member of the Jackson 5 but no senior officer said anything, it is what it is, his natural hair! He obviously then went and had it tidied up he keeps it short on the sides but under his beret he has it longer, and when not in uniform combs it out. There has never been a complaint made.

One other guy simply has his afro hair braided, when that's let out he has a full on afro, again nothing is said to him if it's braided in work.

I'm glad your sticking to your guns, and I hope your DS gets to keep his cultural identity of afro hair in its natural form.

@TheActualLastJedi
It’s so encouraging 🙏
They abuse their power and he is intimidated by the staff. I don’t think anyone can do that to a grown man!
Children are vulnerable and I am happy I did what I did.

What a lot of bollocks! I am a teacher with Afro hair. Most of the time it's all over the place. I have been teaching for 15years and never had a comment over my hair style.

Bloody ridiculous - well done you for standing up to them!