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Newbies' corner

Afro hair is not allowed in primary school

295 replies

Mumkris · 07/09/2018 16:10

Hello everyone,
I am really struggling to understand why my son’s hair is not allowed in school. He is biracial and he loves his gorgeous curly hair. His primary school, however insists that he should cut it or plait his hair as it’s causing a distraction and they “cannot have that”?!
I read their hair policy and there is nothing against that. His hair is long but not long enough to be tied back. It is what it is - natural!

OP posts:
Pieceofpurplesky · 08/09/2018 13:27

We had a child at school with a huge Afro - we just sat him at the back so he could keep his identity and his classmates could see the board. He was happy. Saw him a month after he left school and he had shaved it off.

It's ridiculous OP. Make a stand.

glagdy · 08/09/2018 13:28

Neat and tidy? Fuck off @CelticDad

Some of the bullshit spoken on this thread is worse than the school.

glagdy · 08/09/2018 13:31

@lexer

"@Mumkris
"My son is in year 6 and can decide what he wants to do with his hair"

Not a good attitude to pass to your son. The school has rules, he's a child. Don't ruin him by giving him an attitude problem."

Yep. Don't go letting these people of colour get all attitudy now.

I'm sorry for the rant but I've seen way too many racist comments on Mumsnet, Facebook, insta recently and have snapped.

Things have to change. Being a bit innocent or sheltered isn't an excuse for this behaviour anymore.

Oakmaiden · 08/09/2018 13:35

I used to work at a school that was almost entirely white. It went from Reception through to Year 13, and there were only as handful of Asian children and , I think, 3 black children who were brothers. The youngest was in my class. The older 2 boys had very short hair - the youngest had a more natural hairstyle. The teachers in the school were SO rude about his hair. It really made me cross.

Mumkris · 08/09/2018 13:54

@lexer

His hair has become his identity. Is being proud of who you are an attitude? People have an opinion and so does he. I remind him that he isn't his hair. He had it shaved, short, braided and long. He knows what he wants and he is comfortable to have it the way it is now. He is happy. He isn’t happy that it is not accepted in his school.
His hair is curly. His hair is beautiful. It’s amazing that so many people here agree with me. Thank you 🙏

OP posts:
Pebblesandfriends · 08/09/2018 13:57

I would be putting in an official complaint. They are in the wrong and should be called out on it

CelticDad · 08/09/2018 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

fascinated · 08/09/2018 14:04

Celtic Dad also way out of order and clearly has no idea how the law on indirect discrimination is interpreted

fascinated · 08/09/2018 14:10

Make an official complaint and use the words “indirect discrimination” in that they are applying rules in such a way that persons having certain physical characteristics attributable to their race are disadvantaged in that they are required to modify their natural hair in a way that Caucasian children are not, necessitating additional time and money spent on hair care. There is no objective justification for this interpretation of the rules. Mention unreasonableness and the Equality Act.

Mumkris · 08/09/2018 14:10

@CelticDad

We did not break any rules.
When his hair is long it will be tied back.

OP posts:
thecapitalsunited · 08/09/2018 14:15

@CelticDad Rules which can't be followed unless you are white or which require you to spend time and money on making yourself conform to white beauty standards are most definitely racist.

lexer · 08/09/2018 14:32

@CelticDad - the voice of sense.

glagdy · 08/09/2018 14:35

@lexer @CelticDad

Please fuck off back to your caves you racist assholes.

Why do Mumsnet not clamp down on this shit more. Nice, normal people don't want to have to read this bullshit, it ruins our days.

MaisyPops · 08/09/2018 14:37

You can't just teach them to pick and choose which rules to follow, and then cry racism if someone pulls you up on it.
The rule is long hair must be tied up.

If due to the texture of the child's hair it can't be tied up at the current length and it behaves more like short hair then the OP is well within her rights to say so.

If it was long enough to tie up and the OP was refusing to have it tied up, then they would be unreasonable and it would be wrong to claim racism.

Or are you seriously suggesting school has a rule that says 'long hair must be tied up unless you have afro hair in which case you cannot have any afro hair at all so it should be cut off or styled in a way the head considers neat'.

YeTalkShiteHen · 08/09/2018 14:58

Oh ffs I only went away to do the ironing.

What the fuck is wrong with people??? @CelticDad seriously? Disappointed to see such utter bullshit come from someone with your username especially. I expect that shit from the other side of the city, but one of us? Nah, fuck that.

OP I’m sorry you’re getting such unbelievable shite on this thread and that the white privileged clearly cannot or more likely will not understand that your son is being treated appallingly.

YeTalkShiteHen · 08/09/2018 14:59

If due to the texture of the child's hair it can't be tied up at the current length and it behaves more like short hair then the OP is well within her rights to say so

This! The school rules say long hair must be tied up, OPs son’s hair isn’t long enough to be tied up therefore isn’t fucking breaking any rules! Jesus wept it’s not hard!

jewel1968 · 08/09/2018 15:06

Some words below that you might find useful in your letter:

From the Children's Rights Alliance :

Under the Equality Act 2010 schools must not discriminate against, harass or
victimise pupils because of their sex, race, disability, religion or belief, sexual
orientation, because of a pregnancy or maternity or because of a gender
reassignment (these are called “protected characteristics”). Schools must
also have due regard to the need to eliminate discrimination and should make
sure that their behaviour policies do not unintentionally discriminate against
pupils by unfairly increasing their risk of exclusion.

Under the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child the government must ensure
that ‘school discipline is administered in a manner consistent with the child's
human dignity and in conformity with the present Convention’ (Article 28(2)) and
that education shall be directed to ‘…The development of respect for the child's
parents, his or her own cultural identity, language and values, for the national
values of the country in which the child is living, the country from which he or she
may originate, and for civilizations different from his or her own’ and ‘…The
preparation of the child for responsible life in a free society, in the spirit of
understanding, peace, tolerance, equality of sexes, and friendship among all
peoples, ethnic, national and religious groups and persons of indigenous origin..’
(Article 29(1)(c) and (d)). Unlike the Human Rights Act, these rights are not part
of English law but should nonetheless be considered by courts and public bodies when making decisions.

sashh · 08/09/2018 15:14

You can't just teach them to pick and choose which rules to follow, and then cry racism if someone pulls you up on it.

You can if it is racist, whether direct or indirect.

What if a school decided children with dark skin had to have it bleached?

All children must eat school meals and on Friday it is Pork?

No sunscreen allowed?

Any school rule a child CANNOT follow because of their race / religion or something else beyond their control should be challenged.

Dottierichardson · 08/09/2018 15:15

I’m conflicted, because school rules that say all hair should be tied back, I don’t know how I feel about them. If that’s the rules all over the school, I don’t think your ds is being picked on by the rule because of his race

Isn't the issue that the rule itself is discriminatory? It's predicated on white people's hair as the norm and does not take into account diversity or ethnic variations in hair type, growth patterns etc, it's therefore by its very terms racially discriminatory. Discriminatory rules of this kind need to be challenged. But is depressing that this is still having to be fought on an individual basis.

Also seems deliberately blinkered how can people in education not be aware of the further issues/history re: hair and identity in the black community? There have been articles on this circulating for years. I first read one over 20 years ago! And was a talking point from the 60s onwards after the move to reclaiming 'natural' hair as part of the 'black is beautiful' movement that grew out of civil rights/black liberation movements in the 60s and 70s. Maybe if black history was taught year-round instead of relegated to 'Black History Month' schools like these wouldn't be filled with 'educators' who are so ignorant and discriminatory. The same goes for the ones on this thread who think it's 'okay' for the school to behave in this way, either you're covertly racist in which case your opinions are of no interest or you're wilfully ignorant in which case shut up and learn to Google.

jewel1968 · 08/09/2018 15:16

While we are on the subject have any of you with children with curly afros have total strangers come up to you or your chikd to:

  • ask to touch their hair
  • touch their hair without asking
  • give a science lesson to their children on curly hair
  • ask your child how many pens they can stick in their hair
  • ask why they don't straighten their hair.

We have experienced all of the above. Occasionally a nice compliment is communicated.

Moominfan · 08/09/2018 15:17

I'm absolutely raging for you that they referred to his hair as messy. What a draconian attitude

mostdays · 08/09/2018 15:20

Round of applause to Dottie

Dottierichardson · 08/09/2018 15:23

My OH is a school governor agrees this is either like deliberate or wilfully ignorant discrimination suggests that you raise this with governors, should be contact details on school website.

MistressDeeCee · 08/09/2018 15:31

jewel

Yep, I wear an afro and people have asked 'can I touch it?' (errrmm..No!). Same has happened with DCs who wore either afro or 2 bunches 'oooohhh they're SO cute, can I touch...(No!).

My nephew is mixed race with curly afro, I distinctly remember a woman leaning over ruffling his hair..just like that. Cheeky cow. My brother was livid.

It's either hate or fetishise for some odd people out there. Thankfully most people are normal about it but I'm still taken aback when some people try this ish.

& well said Dottie. There are some really ignorant, uninformed people out there who seem to be woefully proud of it

Mumkris · 08/09/2018 15:36

@Dottierichrdson thank you, I will send a copy of my letter to HT to the governors.

@jewel1968
Yes, people ask very often if they can touch my son’s hair and some nice people don’t even ask. Some friends just touch his hair and say they love it without realising that it’s not ok to touch it. I wouldn’t want anyone touching me if they feel like it, would you?

OP posts: