Afro hair is not allowed in primary school

[Mumkris]

Hello everyone,
I am really struggling to understand why my son’s hair is not allowed in school. He is biracial and he loves his gorgeous curly hair. His primary school, however insists that he should cut it or plait his hair as it’s causing a distraction and they “cannot have that”?!
I read their hair policy and there is nothing against that. His hair is long but not long enough to be tied back. It is what it is - natural!

Op - stand your ground.

How horrible he’s made to feel bad. Suggest that the schools get some diversity training. Ffs - hair being a distraction.

I have very thick frizzy hair. It won’t tie back up unless quite long.

But Katy, she doesn’t pass as a white person. Which makes no difference at all, except if she’s applying for jobs where a white actress is needed.

But that's surely a matter of perspective and I'm not sure most Black ppl would agree that anything other than White equals Black Continually. That comes directly from the one drop slavery rules.

Bear in mind here I am specifically talking about acting role - if you are casting the role of (say) a young woman who is the daughter of a white actor and actress, Katy’s DD would not be believable in that role. That is not to say that there is anything ‘wrong’ with who she is, she’s lovely, but I do understand that there may be times in acting where specifications about appearance and race is part of that, are necessary.

So no, not ‘one drop’ re slavery, just that it’s unlikely that a young woman with dark skin and Afro hair would pass as the daughter of two white actors!

I bumped an old thread of mine maybe you more recent mums can laugh at it

Umm she is an actor - she has to pass as a 35 year old and a woman from Scotland - she is neither of these, a 13 year old school girl, a 1920s chicago gangster - she isn't those either

Actors 'act' they pretend to be what they are not - she doesn't try to "pass" (revolting term) as anything other than an actor playing a part

& I can guarantee she couldn't 'pass' as black either but that is a socially acceptable character she can play

Which brings me to "Ethnically ambiguous" which I dislike intensely but is a current buzz word/term

Sorrt for the hijack Mumkris

It really doesn't - I saw a spectacular performance of Swallows and Amazons where the siblings were, quite clearly not, did it matter? Hell no - they were fabulaous actors

Unless it is integrel to the plot, an adopted child, Hairspray, To kill a Mocking Bird, colour in acting is beyond irrelevent

If makeup and wigs and hair styling can be used, all good. Anyway we have gone way off topic. I was thinking of this when watching coronation street - the actress playing Kirsty was mixed race and white light skinned and Tyrone is white, yet their DD is a little girl who is black, which is odd!

Well we can agree to disagree katy - I agree it doesn’t ‘matter’ if someone is being cast in a role where colour isn’t specified but other times - not frequently necessarily - it is necessary.

You’d struggle to play Rosa parks as a white woman

But Continually the actress won't pass as the daughter of 2 black parents to many Black ppl but will still be cast in that role. The fact that many White ppl won't notice is because of the one drop rule aka one drop of Black makes you wholly Black.

But the little girl who was black is genetically possible to mixed/white parents - it isn't like poster paint where if there is more white paint it comes out lighter

OP - I think you're being incredibly polite and controlled in your responses to the school and on here.

Your child's hair sticks to school policy. End of discussion.

If they start singling out your child and it's based on race (ie, they're not suddenly having a crack down on 'scruffy hair' of every child) then they are committing a crime of racial discrimination.

I'm sure you don't want to have to be that parent who points it out to the head, but I'm amazed you're not beside yourself with fury. How fucking dare they pick on a kid because of his hair? Can you find the school or LEA policy about racial discrimination and include that in a letter? If you've attempted to comply and they're still picking on your son, then this is a prolonged attacked based on race discrimination.

Maybe it's 'just' that the person leaving the message spoke clumsily, but then she should apologize and be given some training on how to handle phone calls. And how would that call even need to be made? Your son is following school rules and that's the end of it.

If I wrote a letter I'd be quoting the LEA race discrimination policy and asking the head how she/he intends to prevent such attacks happening against my child in the future. Then I'd copy it to the LEA and make sure they knew that there's a school actively pursuing a policy of racial discrimination, with the encouragement of the head.

No I get that katy but the characters have to be believable (or should be) and I agree this applies to mixed race / black parents - but then I have a DD with dark hair and blue eyes despite having light hair and hazel eyes myself so that is possible, while having hair and features from an entirely different cultural background isn’t.

Anyway, sorry, OP, wandered off topic there

Growing up I could never understand why everyone who was not 100% white seemed to be supposed to be described as “black”. To me that didn’t make sense as there are clearly so many different types of ethnicity beyond white. Sorry to derail but ca someone explain whether a) what I just said is even correct (maybe I misunderstood - I don’t come from a very ethnically diverse area) and b) if so why it was (because to me JT always seemed like they were lulling together all non-whites as if to imply they were all the same and surely it is a bit white-centric to define people as a word that had essentially come to mean “non-white” ie by reference to someone else rather than their own identity) and c) if things are different now?

Sorry if it is too much of a detail. I would be too embarrassed to ask this question in real life for fear of offence ( I really hope I don’t offend now in here- pls take it in spirit of genuine curiosity)

It comes from the racial hierarchy of slavery Fascinated. In the US it was called the one drop rule but a similar status system operated in UK colonies.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-drop_rule

Thank you. I will research it.

But , but, but... why do they still operate that system them in those questionnaires about ethnicity etc? Surely that’s utterly offensive?

fascinated, many people now don't describe themselves as 'just' black, but we are living in an era of identity politics where most people prefer to choose how to describe themselves, but after the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s the term 'Black' (usually capitalised) was more usual as it was a political statement used to demonstrate people's alignment with that movement: whatever 'shade' they were, they still suffered oppression on the basis of 'race', they still experienced racism. In part too, it was a backlash against the term 'coloured', which many found offensive.

The language around this is constantly evolving.

@KatyMac it’s ok, I am with you 🙂

@jewel1968

I would like to see Meghan wearing natural curly hair

I would like to see celebrities showing off their natural afros

I wish my work colleagues didn’t think that they have to straighten their hair to fit in

I told a friend that if she has gorgeous natural curly hair she doesn’t need to wear wigs or use extensions. I saw her later with natural hair tied back. What a difference! If only more people told her that her hair is beautiful 😍

Another friend always has kinky asymmetrical afro haircuts. She is sooo stylish! 👍

I have no experience of Afro hair, but I would stand my ground. Natural curly hair doesn't need to be hidden to be neat and tidy. If it was me I would take it as far as I had too for the school to get the point.

I was just thinking those sort of thoughts as I read the article you linked to ... I guess a lot depends on whether the term Black is perceived as being positive or negative in the context ... food for thought

Thanks for the education

Cross-posted with SueVide- I agree that that was part of it too: it just depends whether you were coming at it from a perspective of being a racist or an anti-racist. There were different motivations for it.

Here is an example of a recent comment piece which sort of touches on the reasons I gave. There are still lots of people even with some white heritage who feel the same.

What does his father think he should do?

If your child's hair complies with the policy then I'd stick to your guns too.