I wonder what being NT feels like?

[AffIt]

I'm mostly quite happy in my autistic headspace, but every now and again, when I'm having a bad day, I wonder what it's like to be 'normal' and not have a head which feels like a sack of cats.

Take yoga: apparently, yoga is brilliant, but it just makes me angry and then to want to go to sleep, which I can do at home for free, so I resent having to pay for it, which then makes me more angry, and annoyed at not being very bendy.

It must be lovely to just be able to switch off your brain, or, at the very least, just live with it.

I don't misunderstanding people, I just know a perverse wind up when I see one.

White people are not permitted to post on the black mumsnetters area it is considered rude and discriminatory.

Anxiety- panic attacks if something no matter how small goes wrong
Depression- no do have PMDD though
Maybe- struggle with weight since a teenager.
No- play with my hair twirl and rub it over my lips etc but never pull it out.
Only if it is boring
No- although prefer being alone to socialising
Not all NTs are understood and or accepted by other NT people
Sometimes- depends on what is happening

Yes! Because we all know each other and this is a historic problem!!!!

I think the OP was perfectly clear that the thread isn’t about what it’s like to be NT. She’s very clearly wondering aloud to a group of ND people about that feeling of not being ‘normal’ and the sense that so many ND people often have that it must be so nice to just do basic things that are taken for granted by many NT people.

yes there’s a diverse range of NT experiences. But this is really about that feeling - the one that’s stronger on bad days - that it would be great to not feel like your head is a bag of cats.

one of my key reflections from childhood was regularly feeling that it would be so nice to be one of those people who could keep their stuff in order. To have a desk that stayed tidy at school, drawers that didn’t descend into chaos, to open your pencil case and find the stuff you need in it (in fact to have remembered your pencil case).

Yes, NT people can be messy or disorganised or forgetful. But it’s not the same kind of thing. It’s not as overwhelming. It doesn’t happen all the time, despite your best efforts to the contrary. Nor is ‘being more organised’ so utterly unfathomable to most NT people.

I literally just don’t understand how people manage not to lose their house keys several times a week, and don’t have to do the panic search so they can leave the house. I have a key rack. I try to remember to put them on it as soon as I come in the house. But I still find myself desperately searching for keys all the bloody time. It’s demoralising.

That’s the difference.

Of course white people can post on black mumsnetters. I’ve had some wonderful support there when posting and have posted replies there to other people’s questions.

Who is stopping you from being yourself? All people have said is that they are NT and they too have uncontrollable thoughts. How does that make you feel less about yourself? I'd think that although it doesn't lessen your problems, it'd be good to know it's a very common problem amongst everyone and not just something ND people suffer from.
It's certainly something I find interesting.

@mnhq please can you do something about this thread?

Well now you know.

White people are not permitted to post on the black mumsnetters area it is considered rude and discriminatory.

That is total **. That's like saying only mums can post on MN.

This thread came up in active. I didn’t realise that only people who were ND could respond. I’ve been meaning to post here sometime as I’m 100% sure I have autism. It makes my life and struggles make so much sense. I’ve spend so long wondering over my childhood and why I’m struggling. But at this point having a diagnosis isn’t going to help, and hard to get. I’m just learning with my DH how to deal with it and how we cope with me. He and my family have kind of known for ages I am.

but reading this thread today feels like unless I have the bit of paper that has me diagnosed that this isn’t a friendly safe space to come and talk and ask. I’m hanging on by my fingertips trying to work out how to manage friendships and interact with people and not cut everyone off for not being totally open and black/white in their thinking and actions.

Yes! Because we all know each other and this is a historic problem!!!!

I can guarantee you that you don't know everyone that posts on this board.

@GreenCard

Maybe start a thread if you feel confident enough. You will get plenty of support and advice whether you feel you can get a diagnosis or not. If you mention what you’re struggling with specifically lots of us may be able to share coping mechanisms that we’ve found work or advice we’ve had.

@GreenCard you don’t need a diagnosis to post about your neurodiversity here.

it’s a totally different situation to: ‘I’m NT and I feel like that sometimes… wait, why are you annoyed rather than delighted that I’m telling you that these struggles that blight your life are just normal?’

Green card, check out the other threads. We are supportive, we are blunt and fairly black and white due to our neurodiversity. You don't need to be diagnosed and we would support you through the process.

It's not a competition! Oh my fucking god.

I tripped over my own fucking feet aged 9 at fucking athletics and was told Oh the little ones can do this!

A fool can do this fucking algebra aged 14

Need I go on?!

Also being put in the lowesr Maths ability class and still failing.

Lowest!

This is the neurodiversity board.

yes you've had a hard time. But I’m not sure that coming in here to tell neurodiverse people they aren’t the only ones with problems is helpful.

I'm not negating your issues, but as soggy said, this is the neurodiversity board. I'm sorry that you've suffered, genuinely.

However, how you phrased your response did appear as if you were saying that your problems are the same. They're not. I get that they're there, and empathise, but again, this is the board for neurodiverse people.

I only came in here because an Active Coversation came up answering a quesion that the OP did not say was rhetorical, then some people were very unkind that other people did not know this- as if NTs are all telepathic.

If the OP did not state this is a rhetorical question, then naturally some who is NT will answer,

If an ND person asked me what is it like to be NT I would relate my own experience as I cannot take my brain out , put another person's brain to compare- then return the other person's brain to them.

I would not be rude and unkind.

You did not ask to have the brain you have; well neither did anyone else.

Yes, unfortunately they would. There is barely a thread on BMN where posters come by to give their opinion As A White Person or complain that people are being racist towards white people.

Some people are just entitled.