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Original poster

I wonder what being NT feels like?

151 replies

AffIt · 07/06/2022 23:33

I'm mostly quite happy in my autistic headspace, but every now and again, when I'm having a bad day, I wonder what it's like to be 'normal' and not have a head which feels like a sack of cats.

Take yoga: apparently, yoga is brilliant, but it just makes me angry and then to want to go to sleep, which I can do at home for free, so I resent having to pay for it, which then makes me more angry, and annoyed at not being very bendy.

It must be lovely to just be able to switch off your brain, or, at the very least, just live with it.

OP posts:
HalloVegBot · 07/06/2022 23:37

I'm NT and cannot do yoga or anything remotely like that. I also have constant discussions with myself in my head and can never tell whether I'm coming out going... I can't switch off, apparently if I just apply myself more it will come but bollocks to that, I don't have the energy for it at all my mental energy is taken up in discussions with myself. I am NT.

HalloVegBot · 07/06/2022 23:39

Apologies if that sounded short of tone, I didn't mean it! I'm typing on my phone. I suppose what I'm trying to say is being NT isn't all peaceful and serene 😂

AlternativelyWired · 08/06/2022 08:53

I hear you. I went to yoga twice and was totally baffled by the clear your mind instruction. Mine's like a bloody kaleidoscope and there's no hope of it being still or quiet. If anyone asks me what I'm thinking my mind will have moved on through about 10 different things by the time they've finished asking the question. I used to get accused of lying because I couldn't articulate my thoughts because they are too fast and often fleeting. Mindfulness is also a no go.
I don't think it's possible to understand how someone NT thinks because we have no experience. Nor can NTs understand us because they have no experience.

Original poster
AffIt · 08/06/2022 12:13

@AlternativelyWired yep, mindfulness or meditation just doesn't work for me, which baffles my NT sister who is massively into that sort of thing.

OP posts:
workinprogressju · 08/06/2022 12:19

I feel the same way, I've found it impossible to do meditation aswell even though it has been recommended to me so many times. My mind just wanders in 100 different directions with my ADHD and I can't quieter it

MaskingQueeN · 08/06/2022 12:22

I wonder this too. I feel like it just be very quiet and a lot of nothingness sometimes ? Maybe there’s just times with no thoughts ? Whereas I have about 8488383 thoughts a minute it seems (asd and adhd)

ShowOfHands · 08/06/2022 12:30

I think the NT community is as diverse at the ND world so actually, you can't assume how it might feel. You might be NT with anxiety or with disabilities or with all manner of different ways of thinking and working and those patterns might align with the way you experience the world from a neurodiverse perspective.

I'm NT, hate yoga and cannot clear my mind at all. I'm always thinking something. I think zen mind clearers are the minority and the person I know who is best at meditation is actually autistic.

Kanaloa · 08/06/2022 12:34

To be honest yoga and meditation make me feel exactly like it makes you feel! Resentful and pissed off and not in any way relaxed. But I bet there are ND people who love yoga and find it really helpful to them.

I always think of it like this - I have one ND child, two NT, and one who I think may have undiagnosed ND. Not one of them could encompass the ND or NT ‘experience.’ Every person is incredibly different and has their own entire experiences. Just like I couldn’t say ‘hmm, wonder what it’s like to be ND. I suppose they all hate yoga and resent it.’ Realistically there is no ND or NT experience. You have more in common with a NT person from your community than a ND person from a rural poverty stricken/war torn country. You might have more in common with NT people of your sex than ND people of the opposite sex because you have shared experiences and they might not. People with childhood dementia will have a very very different life experience to you although you’re both ND. The best thing is just to accept your own experience (which is coloured by ND but not defined by it) as your own valid experience.

AlternativelyWired · 08/06/2022 13:38

I suspect OP's question was more of wondering what it's like to be NT and just gave yoga as an example.

zafferana · 08/06/2022 13:41

I'm NT, quite like yoga, but cannot clear my mind of thoughts or meditate, although I've tried! I have a constant voice in my head and am always thinking about different stuff and trying to quiet it simply doesn't work. Wouldn't it be great if we could all try out what it is to be differently wired, so we could all understand one another better? All that 'walk a mile in someone else's shoes' business is a nice thought, but sadly it's impossible.

Kanaloa · 08/06/2022 14:26

AlternativelyWired · 08/06/2022 13:38

I suspect OP's question was more of wondering what it's like to be NT and just gave yoga as an example.

Obviously I understood that. I was just pointing out that every person will feel differently about everything. Whether yoga or relationships or anything else, you can’t generalise the NT or ND experience as ‘this is what it’s like to be NT/ND.’ It’s better just to accept that this is YOUR experience, coloured by your ND but also by your upbringing, sex, sexuality, nationality, religion, cultural background and on and on. It’s unique to you and that’s why it’s impossible to say ‘this is what it’s like to be NT.’

Rreaq · 08/06/2022 19:31

I often ponder this, I would love to live just a day in the life of not being nd and be able to accomplish very basic tasks that most nts do with ease and I struggle with, just a days break from the meltdowns and shutdowns would be lovely.

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 08/06/2022 23:24

Wow, don't you just love it when NTs barge in and put us in our place like we're stupid children who need things explaining to us 🙄

Sunnytwobridges · 09/06/2022 01:49

I’m NT and my mind is absolutely never clear of thoughts. I’m always wondering, worrying, analyzing something.

AlternativelyWired · 09/06/2022 07:34

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation I'm holding my tongue for now.

Mabelface · 09/06/2022 07:54

I get it, op. My mind never bloody shuts up. I get the same ear worm stuck in my head for weeks. I do wonder what it'd be like to be nt for a day. Imagine being able to focus, understanding unspoken social rules, not getting overwhelmed by too many people or too much noise! Being able to eat normally and self care not being bloody hard work. Not being permaanxious.

FrecklesMalone · 09/06/2022 07:58

It is possible eventually to learn how to do mindfulness when not NT just takes fucking ages. I still can't meditate though but can do mindfulness. Reckon it took 5 times along as my friend who I went with!

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 09/06/2022 08:59

I am fed up with this. Why can't we discuss our difficulties in a safe space instead of having to tolerate minimisation by NTs.

😡 ffs

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 09/06/2022 09:01

Sunnytwobridges · 09/06/2022 01:49

I’m NT and my mind is absolutely never clear of thoughts. I’m always wondering, worrying, analyzing something.

This is the ND board for ND mumsnetters. We do not appreciate posts which discuss and minimise our difficulties.

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 09/06/2022 09:02

Kanaloa · 08/06/2022 12:34

To be honest yoga and meditation make me feel exactly like it makes you feel! Resentful and pissed off and not in any way relaxed. But I bet there are ND people who love yoga and find it really helpful to them.

I always think of it like this - I have one ND child, two NT, and one who I think may have undiagnosed ND. Not one of them could encompass the ND or NT ‘experience.’ Every person is incredibly different and has their own entire experiences. Just like I couldn’t say ‘hmm, wonder what it’s like to be ND. I suppose they all hate yoga and resent it.’ Realistically there is no ND or NT experience. You have more in common with a NT person from your community than a ND person from a rural poverty stricken/war torn country. You might have more in common with NT people of your sex than ND people of the opposite sex because you have shared experiences and they might not. People with childhood dementia will have a very very different life experience to you although you’re both ND. The best thing is just to accept your own experience (which is coloured by ND but not defined by it) as your own valid experience.

This is the ND board for ND mumsnetters. We do not appreciate posts which discuss and minimise our difficulties

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 09/06/2022 09:02

HalloVegBot · 07/06/2022 23:37

I'm NT and cannot do yoga or anything remotely like that. I also have constant discussions with myself in my head and can never tell whether I'm coming out going... I can't switch off, apparently if I just apply myself more it will come but bollocks to that, I don't have the energy for it at all my mental energy is taken up in discussions with myself. I am NT.

This is the ND board for ND mumsnetters. We do not appreciate posts which discuss and minimise our difficulties

Mabelface · 09/06/2022 09:09

I agree with Barrow actually. This is the ND safe space. This is where we discuss things that are relevant to us. If you're NT, you cannot understand our difficulties and challenges. We're happy to offer you an insight if you ask questions, but do not tell us how we should be or that we're wrong. You've never been in my brain or body.

eurochick · 09/06/2022 09:14

The title is about what it feels like to be NT so surely it can't be a surprise that NT people are replying with what it feels like to be NT...

(Fwiw I have no idea whether I belong on this board or not. I have no diagnosis but have long suspected ADHD but not pursued it.)

Plexie · 09/06/2022 09:17

The title of the thread is "I wonder what being NT feels like?" so it shouldn't be surprising that some NT people came along to explain what it feels like for them.

Or was it supposed to be a rhetorical question?

AlternativelyWired · 09/06/2022 09:22

It's the ND board. For ND people. NT people posting just minimises and dismisses our experiences.