Neurodiversity support thread for women with suspected, diagnosed or self-diagnosed autism, ADHD and other NDs #18

[PolterThreadStarter]

As usual, latest support thread.

Welcome

I am going to get assessed re ASD as soon as finances allow. I was expecting to get some money recently, and discussed with my dh about getting assessed and he agreed, we realised I fit the category of ASD, when my son was diagnosed 3 years ago. Unfortunately yesterday I got told that the money has been held up and my reaction was a complete meltdown, not because of the money but because of a change in what was happening...... whoops! Here I am 24 hours later still trying to bring myself back to a calmer level. I know the diagnosis will not change anything on the outside, but I feel I might be able to start living my life as an Aspie, rather than an NT-wannabe. Does this sound familiar?

Hello.

I was diagnosed with ADHD-PI as an adult and was very lucky with the meds.

I've just 'clicked' with them and although I've still got executive function and procrastination issues, I am coping much better.

Eleanor Smith MP represents a constituency in my city.

She has recently given house room to a newly formed action group called COPE.

Challenging Over prescription by Professionals in Education gave the MP a highly persuasive argument for not medicating children for ADHD as it is a behavioural issue not a neurological issue.

I'm stunned.
www.facebook.com/1889680157988068/posts/2101277836828298/

The arguments in a booklet which quoted a local Educational Psychologist quite prominently, look thoroughly researched, but it references utter snake oil sales sites and the booklet was produced by the Citizens Commission on Human Rights; a Scientology front.

The argument is that as ADHD is behavioural (ie. neurotic) and not a neurological condition, then drugs are unnecessary.

There are 20 conditions which could mimic ADHD including parasites, apparently.

www.cchr.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/ADHD3.pdf

I'm a member of a secret group and we've been raging about it all night.

As I'm not her constituent, I can't write to her, can I?

Absolutely contact her (though I don't know if it will help of course, people are weird). Be calm and logical and evidence-based.

Are there any leading academics you could approach for a quote/letter about it maybe?

One of her fellow MPs.

Do you mean a fellow MP is an expert? Can you talk to them then?

Another member of the group has already done that.

Would a letter from me to this idiot (who is also happy to endorse a Christian Evangelist who claims miraculous healing) make any difference?

@ICantBelieveIDidThis if you have a proforma letter I'd also be willing to send a copy!

Sorry, for just leaping in... I'm also an ADHDer and I used to post on here regularly under a different name.

Hi Daisy , I’m new here but well done on getting assessed.

I’ve been doing lots of reading lately on women on the spectrum and so much of it sounds like me.

I do manage to work full time but it’s just exhausting. By the end of the week I’m ‘peopled out’. A few years ago I even ended up getting blood tests because I just felt so exhausted.

There are also long term problems with my executive function. For years I’ve wondered how someone seemingly intelligent like myself can be so bad at general organisation and time management. Ever since primary school I’ve struggled with getting assignments completed on time and even just not handed them in at time. I started university but didn’t complete the course because of the same issues.

Then there are the sensory issues. For me it’s noise and heat.

My issues with reading people and speaking to them at the wrong time are bad enough that I got called into a meeting at work about it as a disciplinary issue

Obsessions with interests and hobbies, tick, clumsiness, tick. Remembers obscure facts but poor short term memory, tick.

I can also see that my mum is probably on the spectrum but wouldn’t actually say that to her face.

Despite all this my life isn’t completely miserable. It would be good to get a diagnosis and understand why I am different to those around me.

Totally agree with all that bluetongue. My mother has said that if I did go for an assessment she wouldn't go with me because she thinks they'd diagnose her too and she doesn't want to be diagnosed! And yet one day she'll agree with me that I have it, and the next she'll deny that and say I'm being ridiculous. Hence I'm too scared to follow it up in case they tell me I'm being ridiculous.

Have appointment next week, terrified.. can anyone reassure me. I'm not sure I'll even be able to speak

Honestly, it'll be fine nothingelse. Imagine one of us here chatting to you and asking questions. It's really not far off that.

The person won't be out to trap you and will usually do their best to help you feel at ease. Plan to wear your favourite outfit; take something comforting to hold on to perhaps?

The effort of talking to someone so long can be exhausting though so try to plan to have some snacks with you and to rest for a bit afterwards if you can.

Good luck nothingelse. I’m sure the assessor/whoever is doing the appointment will be used to people feeling like they can’t soeak. They’ll put you at ease.

Just found this thread - will read the whole thing soon but wanted to say hi. I'm 40 and was diagnosed with autism in May this year. Mostly a relief but still trying to learn how to live my best life. I have severe anxiety and am trying to avoid masking where possible as this seems to help

Hi. Could any of you who got an ASD diagnosis as a adult say whether you think most people that know you would have any idea you are on the spectrum? I’ve just started the assessment process (through Healios) and I’m convincing myself that it’s just not obvious enough because I’ve learnt to get round stuff. Which may of course mean I don’t have it - which is ok - but I’m just wondering if it’s possible to get to your mid-40s with no one noticing (except yourself).

I don’t think anyone noticed with me, because I’m so good at masking. I can come across as NT, just shy/quiet.

Hello everyone, new here too. Self-diagnosed but pursuing a formal diagnosis. It is a huge relief actually to realise what is 'wrong' and explains so much... the series of 'breakdowns'... the anxiety and depression... the exhaustion with social events and problems with friendships etc. etc.

I also have two children, one of whom is in the process of being diagnosed... and possibly the other one has issues too...

Thanks toffee. Hi Lucy - I’m also self diagnosed but pursuing an official diagnosis, have 1 child waiting for a CAMHS appointment and another I wonder about sometimes.

I got my diagnosis at 43. I guess various people "noticed" stuff over the years but wouldn't have guessed autism. (shy, introverted, few friends, socially awkward, ...)

I have been to the Gpand asked for a referral. Now in that no mans land of being undiagnosed and waiting and generally aggghhhhh.

It’s difficult isn’t it Blackeyedsusan?? You’ve got the first step out of the way by visiting the GP, so well done on that.

Recently diagnosed aged 40 and I would say no one would've known as I learnt to mask very well.

It’s mentioned in my diagnostic report that it was first mentioned as a possibility by my year 2 teacher (when I was six), but I guess they tend to notice that kind of thing. I didn’t really have any issues at that age, it only really started experiencing social problems etc when I went to secondary... which can be the case with girls who have ASD. (Ie they manage fine at primary, then have difficulty later).

I was born in 1973. Don't think there was much autism awareness then, or in the 1980s when I struggled (to put it mildly) in secondary school. My poor social were mentioned regularly by teachers but I mostly escaped into daydreaming and did well academically so was just seen as shy. I had majorly disordered eating but nobody seemed to take much notice of that either (bulimia/binge eating/yoyo dieting - my weight fluctuated by several stones).

Interestingly, I was prescribed Ritalin at age 4 for 'hyperactivity', so something was noticed at some point but mistaken for something else.

I later learned to mask and fit in (sort of!) and, yes, I got to my 40s without anyone ever thinking I may be autistic. I found out myself when my daughter was little, as she and I are very similar. Everything clicked into place and I pursued a diagnosis. Turns out I was right. Lots of people still don't believe me though as I seem 'too normal' (their words).

Ay - if you look at the checklist for ADHD symptoms and Aspergers in young girls the list is practically the same. My dd has a dx of ADHD and I'm so sure she's Aspie as well.

I know, Electra!

In fact, my mother casually mentioning the Ritalin to me (apparently she didn't give it to me for long as it didn't sit right with her) when I was still pondering whether to seek a diagnosis helped me make up my mind (as I knew by then about the Aspie/ADHD overlaps).