Baby at a concert

[Worrywort98]

Hi all
I have a 4 month old baby who's pretty chilled. I don't have family support, just me and my husband.

I recently booked a concert (classical music) for our one year wedding anniversary. It's in a small venue. I didn't even consider the fact that babies/children might not be allowed in until after I'd bought the tickets 🫠 and we've no one to babysit.

Should I still bring my baby?

I bought back row seats for swift exit.
He normally sleeps very well if I put him in the carrier. Recently I had to go to a funeral and he slept the whole service.

Please be kind but honest as to what I should do. Thanks

This^

I was at one on Saturday.

no babies
no coughing and spluttering elderly people eating sweets
no young people glued to phones
no disabled people making outbursts or any of your other stereotypes

it was sold out and excellent 👌

Also think it’s a bit arsey to ask people to be honest and then suggest their pearl clutching when they do that.

did you just want everyone to tell you that it’s fine?

It's one thing if someone said, "yeah maybe not because of x,y,z reason" that's fine, I understand. I'm not being arsey.
Instead the general response has felt like, "what are you thinking, how could you possibly consider this to be appropriate?!?!?!" Which has a different tone of course

Well my goodness

Would the baby handle well having ear protectors?

If so, by all means take him. But the second he starts being noisy go outside, don’t ruin it for others.

OP only you know your baby, trust your own judgement! Last week I took my 4 year old, 3 year old and 6 month old to a show. The look of absolute horror of the people sat next to us when we came in was comical 😂 when in fact they were golden. We only went because a relative was in it. Baby slept through the first half and sat and enjoyed the lights for the second! Older two were great, just asked me once for a snack. Much more chatter/noise coming from other people. I’ve been taking them all since they were small. Youngest was about 9 weeks at the first one. Obviously be ready to take them out if getting noisy but no you shouldn’t immediately be banned 😂

Of course I'd take him out the second he would make a whimper. I don't want to be that person. hence my tickets are in the very back row of seats 😃

I wouldn’t take a baby to a regular classical concert. By the time you take your crying baby out you’ve already disturbed both the audience and the musicians and ruined the mood.

I would however look for a classical concert in your area where babies are welcome such as Bach To Baby. They actively advertise themselves as baby and toddler friendly. Hopefully there’ll be something like that near you.

The sweetie rustlers, conversationalists, mobile phone users etc equally piss me off when they carry on through something that I've spent my hard earned cash on.

I equally don't want to cough up to hear someone else's children. If you could guarantee that your child was quiet then that'd be one thing but that's never going to happen.

Thank you for sharing this! I'm glad you had a positive experience. Children need to be exposed to things like this or else how will they learn how to behave in public as they get older. X

But the issue is by then, and with the disruption of leaving, you’ve already been that person and disturbed the people around you. And I’m not clutching my pearls, I’m clutching my 10 week old.

Ear protectors are a must for that age

Yes but that’s a rock concert lol. A baby’s cries even if prolonged I imagine will be drowned out! A classical concert however is the sort of music where even intermittent cries will ruin it. OP is asking and I’m tellin’ and imho I think it’s selfish. Of course people with young babies will say they ‘hardly ever’ cry.

However, I appreciate at least OP is considering opinions and has considered she may need to book seats for a quick getaway. It’s a shame @Worrywort98 that you’re unable to book a babysitter not just for the obvious reasons but because for an anniversary would have been nice in general for you both to be baby free that night - never mind the concert goers!

Your tolerance for your baby will be much higher than everyone elses though.

Baby might fuss but you know he will settle down in a minute so you stay put.

It's really not fair on everyone else who has paid the money and arranged babysitters or whatever.

Also particularly lovely of you to mention 'outbursts' from disabled people 🤔

Can you actually leave in the middle of the show? I know some concerts don’t like people coming and going because of the noise of people walking around/ doors disturbs.

It really depends on the venue an opportunity.
Would I do it for an opening of music festival in a major hall? No. Afternoon concert in the gardens? Yes.

I don’t think it would harm the baby but I think it’s super unfair to everyone around you. A small baby can’t be asked to shush and will just do whatever they do. And it’s not like a newborn where they will just sleep for ages. Totally fine to bring a baby to something noisy (with ear defenders) though!

I said that as someone who had a disabled sibling who was, quite frankly, noisy out and about! And thats okay! I'm being blunt, not intentionally offensive.

As a classical concert goer I like that you want to go to such concerts, and I hope you'll continue to do so. You haven't said what the venue is exactly eg a park marquee type affair on a Sunday afternoon is a lot different to a concert hall where people have paid serious money. But for the latter scenario taking a baby just wouldn't be appropriate.

I agree about coughing (not age related btw!) and other antisocial annoyances, and it only takes one of those to spoil a piece of music at the wrong moment. So an unpredictable baby could definitely interrupt things- and even the most placid can be unpredictable at times. So I wouldn't.
Our local orchestra has sessions for babies and small children which are very popular and fun. And it's a good introduction for them - you don't want people shushing them / you.
If you don't have family support then you have to start building your own network with other parents in the same boat, friends etc. We didn't have anyone close at hand so I know what it's like.
But don't stop going to concerts!

There are loads of ways to expose children to shows. There is a whole genre of toddler/ preschool theatre with shows like The Grufflo, Tje Tiger who came to tea etc. I also took my kids to a children’s version of Swan Lake. These shows are about 40 minutes long and a really good step. My children are now 10 and 8 and will happily sit though a full length musical or concert. There was no need to be taking them to concerts aimed at adults when they were too young to understand.

Thank you for your fair response.

For context, it's on a Monday night, tickets are £15 each. Local council-run type "museum"(?) venue. Not sure if that makes sense.
But I agree, if it was a large 'proper' concert hall with expensive tickets, I wouldn't consider going

Sorry, did you say “disabled people and their outbursts”? You actually typed that and thought it was alright to post?

What a fucking delight you are

oh please don't become one of those parents.

A 4 month old is not "well behaved" - or badly behaved. It's a BABY!
You had a lifetime of opportunities to enjoy places without other people's babies. Now you have one, you will miss out on places unsuitable for babies and children. That's life.

It's too loud for a start.

If YOU can take your own baby, anyone else could, and no, just no.

Rude and noisy or badly behaved adults are not a reason to impose kids on other people. I do have kids myself!

It's painful enough on school nativities and events, where babies are so noisy you miss out on everything because you can't hear a thing, but that's to be expected. A concert or cinema? Just no.
(some cinemas do have baby sessions though)

You're being blunt about the disabled community, and thats ok? But can't handle a bit of bluntness about your selfish plan?

It's one thing if someone said, "yeah maybe not because of x,y,z reason" that's fine, I understand. I'm not being arsey.
Instead the general response has felt like, "what are you thinking, how could you possibly consider this to be appropriate?!?!?!" Which has a different tone of course

The irony.