Christina, this thread has gone round in circles but you’ve had some genuine and kind advice here. I would suggest showing this thread to your therapist as it raises some issues that you clearly need to talk over with someone who knows you personally, and ideally in a professional capacity.
If you feel able to, it might be useful for your mum to see it too.
Moving forward, perhaps agreeing small goals with your mum and therapist might be useful. For example, you’re in part-time work at the moment so maybe increasing your hours to a full-time role, if you’re able to manage it.
Your therapist could help you to identify realistic targets that are achievable. This will help you make greater progress and give you something realistic to work towards.
Having a disability of any kind isn’t something that you can wish away. It’s not about trying harder to ignore it or pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s about learning to make the most of your strengths and developing copies strategies for things that you find harder.
There’s no shame in needing help with some things.
Also, the men that are turning down sex with you are being responsible. Like it or not, you are more vulnerable because of your disabilities and having sex with you would mean they are taking advantage/exploiting you. I worry that one day you’ll offer sex to the wrong man and you’ll end up in a very unsafe situation.
Even without the intellectual disability label that you seem to really object to, simply the fact of being autistic makes you more vulnerable. It means you need to take more care than other women as you may miss warning signs.
Please wait to find a boyfriend who loves you for who you are. Having casual sex won’t prove anything.
As I said earlier, try to forget about labels and just focus on being happy and developing your independence.
Please take care of yourself. All the best 💐