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How can I deal with being misdiagnosed by my psychologist?

1000 replies

Gymnastxo96 · 24/03/2026 13:59

Back in August of 2025 I did phycological testing at a phycologist that I go to and they said my full IQ was 76 which I don’t understand because I type just fine and have good grammar and could type full sentences. Many people say you sure your IQ is 76 because I type just fine and have good grammer and can communicate well. And my adaptive behavior score was 57 which is pretty low. Why would they misinterpret that too? Why would they misinterpret the results and think I don’t understand medical decisions and they recommend medical guardianship. Why would they misinterpret my results? Now people think I am mentally challenged because of this. Are they wrong for misinterpreting the results to make me worse then I seem? Keep in mind I do have high functioning autism so do you think my autism played a role in how I did in the IQ test or you think I was completely misdiagnosed and it could be something else?

OP posts:
murasaki · 27/03/2026 23:27

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:21

With support I could take parenting classes, take notes and learn skills to understand what my kids in the future really need because I know it’s more than just dressing and feeding them. It’s paying their bills and taking them to doctors appointments and I know my life with change because I won’t be able to do the things I enjoyed to so kids take up a lot of work. I could retain info when I write it down so I could have a doctor explain to me what it’s really like to take care of a baby until adulthood because I know babies aren’t cheap you have to stay up all night with them when they cry in the middle of the night to change their diaper and feed them. I have experience with babies and know how to take care of them.

And there's emotional support, dealing with them becoming a child with their own views and personality, navigating school, their emotions, friendships, talents, failures, all those things and more. Building them up and picking them up when they fall, not just physically. Supporting their dreams but being realistic.

Love isn't enough. You wanting one isn't enough. Can you do that and also the other bits I've probably forgotten? I don't think so.

AuADHD · 27/03/2026 23:28

That’s not what she said at all. You are not understanding what is being said to you and are jumping on a few words and blowing them out of proportion.

Support to attend parenting classes. Do you mean to physically get there? Or to book onto the classes? To attend regularly?

If you have a baby where is the money coming from the raise it? I know maternity leave is rubbish in the USA and you’ll need to pay for childcare to go back to work a few weeks after the birth. Where will you
live?

Lougle · 27/03/2026 23:29

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:06

Ok but it’s not fair that you think I can’t have kids because of my disability. I also read online that people with intellectual disabilities can be good parents with support. I’m correct?

Intellectual disability can be as simple as being slow to understand academic subjects, and finding it difficult to read. Those people might need support with bills and making sure they understand letters they get, but their ability to parent might be quite good because they can look after their own hygiene, cook, shop properly, understand what the priority for their money is, have a good sense of danger and know when they need help. In other words, they're just not that clever but they can look after themselves.

You have intellectual disability but also Autism. Part of Autism for some people is that they don't realise that not everybody thinks like them, so they think that their way of thinking is 'normal'. That makes it harder for them to realise that they haven't got some key skills, and it makes it harder for them to ask for help with the things they find difficult, because they don't really see that they find it difficult, and don't realise why it's important that they do things differently.

I think this describes the way you have been talking on this thread. Even though lots of people have explained why they think it would be very hard for you to be an adequate (it's not about 'good' or 'bad', because that's more about character) parent. You can be a 'good' parent with a 'good' heart, but still be inadequate. For example, some parents love their children so much that they want to give them whatever they want and they never want them to be unhappy, so they never correct them or stop them from doing things that they shouldn't do. That isn't the sort of parenting that children need, and if someone can't put boundaries in place, they might be an inadequate parent, even if their intention is good.

Love and a desire to be a parent isn't enough to make an adequate parent. You have to be able to give your child what they need, to know when what they need changes, and to know how to keep them safe. I don't think that anyone who struggles with those things for themselves can provide them for someone else.

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:29

AutisticHouseMove · 27/03/2026 23:26

What you have said is correct.

If he loves you, he would fully accept you.

Everyone deserves to beloved.

Its not your fault you have a disability.

You want (and deserve) to live the best life possible.

You want a guy to love you for who you are.

All of that is true and it is also what many people want.

Unfortunately, that doesn't mean this man loves you and it doesn't mean he will want to have children with you just because it is what you want.

Ok but some guys would love to have children with me. Like I said before even typical parents have some kids that are severely disabled and if loved me he would take the risk. I really don’t want to end up alone.

OP posts:
Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:32

Lougle · 27/03/2026 23:29

Intellectual disability can be as simple as being slow to understand academic subjects, and finding it difficult to read. Those people might need support with bills and making sure they understand letters they get, but their ability to parent might be quite good because they can look after their own hygiene, cook, shop properly, understand what the priority for their money is, have a good sense of danger and know when they need help. In other words, they're just not that clever but they can look after themselves.

You have intellectual disability but also Autism. Part of Autism for some people is that they don't realise that not everybody thinks like them, so they think that their way of thinking is 'normal'. That makes it harder for them to realise that they haven't got some key skills, and it makes it harder for them to ask for help with the things they find difficult, because they don't really see that they find it difficult, and don't realise why it's important that they do things differently.

I think this describes the way you have been talking on this thread. Even though lots of people have explained why they think it would be very hard for you to be an adequate (it's not about 'good' or 'bad', because that's more about character) parent. You can be a 'good' parent with a 'good' heart, but still be inadequate. For example, some parents love their children so much that they want to give them whatever they want and they never want them to be unhappy, so they never correct them or stop them from doing things that they shouldn't do. That isn't the sort of parenting that children need, and if someone can't put boundaries in place, they might be an inadequate parent, even if their intention is good.

Love and a desire to be a parent isn't enough to make an adequate parent. You have to be able to give your child what they need, to know when what they need changes, and to know how to keep them safe. I don't think that anyone who struggles with those things for themselves can provide them for someone else.

Ok so how can I live with my disability and why do some people don’t want to talk to me because of it and hate me? I am always bullied because of it and I want to live a normal life. Do I have to accept that no normal guy would want to be with me or even have kids with me? In my experience no guy would want to put up with me so I’m depressed. I want to find someone.

OP posts:
AutisticHouseMove · 27/03/2026 23:32

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:24

Oh yea so you are saying no guy will ever accept me and date me in the long term because I don’t want to tell my family I ended up single the rest of my life because it is too much to put up with me? I don’t want to end up in that situation.

No. She is not saying that either.

You keep saying, 'So, you're saying that..."

Or

"So, you think that..."

But you are wrong nearly every time and the person is not saying what you think they are saying. And they are not thinking what you think they are thinking.

Again, this is what people mean when they say you don't understand.

Because, with every post you type, you are showing that you do not understand.

OneCoralGoose · 27/03/2026 23:36

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:29

Ok but some guys would love to have children with me. Like I said before even typical parents have some kids that are severely disabled and if loved me he would take the risk. I really don’t want to end up alone.

No one has a disabled kid by choice. No one chooses to have a kid who might never be independent. So yes neurotypical people have disabled kids and you can look at posts here it wrecks marriages and ruins lives because its so hard. No one willing makes the choice when its a coin flip. People with genetic disorders often have ivf and screen the genes out or use donors so they dont pass on issues. You cant do that with intellectual disabilitys

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:37

Yeah like attending parenting classes but some people on here say that no normal guy would want to put up or have the patience with me because of my mild intellectual disability or even want to have kids with me. How could I even live a normal life?

OP posts:
murasaki · 27/03/2026 23:38

Yes, you are not understanding what I've said. Others are, for which I am grateful.

I'm not saying you can't have relationships, of course you can. I'm just saying that if a man wants children he would look elsewhere. Of course couples have children with needs they didn't anticipate. But few people, and particularly men, would actively put themselves in that position. And men leave. And the woman is left with the child, more often than not.

It's hard enough in a good relationship.

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:39

AuADHD · 27/03/2026 23:28

That’s not what she said at all. You are not understanding what is being said to you and are jumping on a few words and blowing them out of proportion.

Support to attend parenting classes. Do you mean to physically get there? Or to book onto the classes? To attend regularly?

If you have a baby where is the money coming from the raise it? I know maternity leave is rubbish in the USA and you’ll need to pay for childcare to go back to work a few weeks after the birth. Where will you
live?

Yeah like attending parenting classes but some people on here say that no normal guy would want to put up or have the patience with me because of my mild intellectual disability or even want to have kids with me. How could I even live a normal life?

OP posts:
AutisticHouseMove · 27/03/2026 23:40

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:29

Ok but some guys would love to have children with me. Like I said before even typical parents have some kids that are severely disabled and if loved me he would take the risk. I really don’t want to end up alone.

Well, when you meet a man who would love to have children with you, you can think about it then.

And discuss it with the people and the professionals who are responsible for your care then.

murasaki · 27/03/2026 23:40

Parenting classes will not be enough. Your comprehension is limited. You can learn if a) do b), but will you realise a) has happened?

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:40

murasaki · 27/03/2026 23:38

Yes, you are not understanding what I've said. Others are, for which I am grateful.

I'm not saying you can't have relationships, of course you can. I'm just saying that if a man wants children he would look elsewhere. Of course couples have children with needs they didn't anticipate. But few people, and particularly men, would actively put themselves in that position. And men leave. And the woman is left with the child, more often than not.

It's hard enough in a good relationship.

Ok but I have been in a serious relationship before and the guy wanted kids with me as well and he also had a disability so it’s not really accurate for you to say a guy will look elsewhere if he wants kids. Right?

OP posts:
Lougle · 27/03/2026 23:41

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:32

Ok so how can I live with my disability and why do some people don’t want to talk to me because of it and hate me? I am always bullied because of it and I want to live a normal life. Do I have to accept that no normal guy would want to be with me or even have kids with me? In my experience no guy would want to put up with me so I’m depressed. I want to find someone.

You need to find people who are well matched to you. That share your interests.

Some people are unkind. Lots of people. You don't have to have autism or intellectual disability to face unkindness. Find the ones who aren't.

A baby isn't going to love you. Babies take what they need. They cry because it upsets us so much that we have to fix the problem to shut.them.up. Their cry is pretty much the same no matter what the problem is at first, and you just have to work out what time of day it is, when they last pooed, when they were fed, whether they might be hot, or cold, or tired, or hungry, or in pain, or grumpy... It all sounds the same! Babies cry no matter what you might be doing that is really important. They don't care if you only fell asleep 10 minutes ago. The most annoying thing is that you spend ages begging them to go to sleep, then once they're asleep you worry they might be ill and you want to prod them to make sure they're ok abs wake them up again.

In fact, all children fluctuate in their emotions and can hate you 10 minutes after telling you they love you. They are immature feelings machines.

If you want unconditional love, I'd get a dog. They're faithful and forgiving.

Lougle · 27/03/2026 23:42

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:40

Ok but I have been in a serious relationship before and the guy wanted kids with me as well and he also had a disability so it’s not really accurate for you to say a guy will look elsewhere if he wants kids. Right?

Well he was a guy with a disability, so it will depend on whether he was able to make sensible decisions about parenthood. You can't compare a man who is typically able and one with an intellectual disability.

AuADHD · 27/03/2026 23:42

I think you should talk to your therapist about why your self worth appears to be tied up to whether or not a man wants to be with you and have children with you. Men can sniff out that kind of desperation from miles away and it’s part of what makes you vulnerable. There’s more to life than finding a man. Your focus perhaps needs to be on improving your mental health and learning to be more independent. Could you live alone? Pay bills on time? Keep the house reasonably clean and tidy? Do the laundry? Keep the garden tidy? Keep yourself safe in the home? Deal with the electricity and water companies? The landlord? Do basic maintenance like changing lightbulbs?

Lougle · 27/03/2026 23:43

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:37

Yeah like attending parenting classes but some people on here say that no normal guy would want to put up or have the patience with me because of my mild intellectual disability or even want to have kids with me. How could I even live a normal life?

You don't have a mild intellectual disability. Your report said it was moderate.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 27/03/2026 23:43

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:06

Ok but it’s not fair that you think I can’t have kids because of my disability. I also read online that people with intellectual disabilities can be good parents with support. I’m correct?

No, you're wrong.
Posters on this thread with experience of parents who have your kind of disability have repeatedly stated that these parents struggle massively, and frequently end up by having their babies removed from them. Despite being given a great deal of support, they cannot cope with their babies.

It is far better to avoid pregnancy in these circumstances.

murasaki · 27/03/2026 23:43

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:40

Ok but I have been in a serious relationship before and the guy wanted kids with me as well and he also had a disability so it’s not really accurate for you to say a guy will look elsewhere if he wants kids. Right?

A neurotypical man will not opt for children with you if he has another option, sorry but it's true. Your ex boyfriend probably thought like you, 'I can learn, it'll be fine, others will support us'. But you're not together so it's irrelevant.

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:44

murasaki · 27/03/2026 23:40

Parenting classes will not be enough. Your comprehension is limited. You can learn if a) do b), but will you realise a) has happened?

Yeah I will definitely realize what has happened. If I write notes down. I can improve my comprehension by processing info and focusing.

OP posts:
Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:46

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 27/03/2026 23:43

No, you're wrong.
Posters on this thread with experience of parents who have your kind of disability have repeatedly stated that these parents struggle massively, and frequently end up by having their babies removed from them. Despite being given a great deal of support, they cannot cope with their babies.

It is far better to avoid pregnancy in these circumstances.

Well I know people with disabilities that had kids and their kids weren’t taken away from them so you are wrong!

OP posts:
murasaki · 27/03/2026 23:46

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:44

Yeah I will definitely realize what has happened. If I write notes down. I can improve my comprehension by processing info and focusing.

And in the meantime, the baby is in danger because you can't think in the moment. And need to consult your notes. That's very worrying. You wouldn't be safe around a baby.

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:46

Yeah but I have been with neurotypical men before in a relationship and he said he was open to having kids with me. I don’t want to be single forever. It’s not my fault I was born with this disability.

OP posts:
murasaki · 27/03/2026 23:48

Of course it's not your fault. But it is what it is.

Gymnastxo96 · 27/03/2026 23:48

murasaki · 27/03/2026 23:43

A neurotypical man will not opt for children with you if he has another option, sorry but it's true. Your ex boyfriend probably thought like you, 'I can learn, it'll be fine, others will support us'. But you're not together so it's irrelevant.

Yeah but I have been with neurotypical men before in a relationship and he said he was open to having kids with me. I don’t want to be single forever. It’s not my fault I was born with this disability.

OP posts:
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