How can I deal with being misdiagnosed by my psychologist?

[Gymnastxo96]

Back in August of 2025 I did phycological testing at a phycologist that I go to and they said my full IQ was 76 which I don’t understand because I type just fine and have good grammar and could type full sentences. Many people say you sure your IQ is 76 because I type just fine and have good grammer and can communicate well. And my adaptive behavior score was 57 which is pretty low. Why would they misinterpret that too? Why would they misinterpret the results and think I don’t understand medical decisions and they recommend medical guardianship. Why would they misinterpret my results? Now people think I am mentally challenged because of this. Are they wrong for misinterpreting the results to make me worse then I seem? Keep in mind I do have high functioning autism so do you think my autism played a role in how I did in the IQ test or you think I was completely misdiagnosed and it could be something else?

Your comprehension is limited. How would you understand the needs of another person, particularly when they are tiny, and may also have additional needs. Ok, you can clean a flat and buy clothes and feed yourself, but is that enough? I think your mother understands this.

I will learn to understand how to parent by being taught how to. Just because I have this disability doesn’t mean I can’t be a parent. If I found out I was pregnant right now I wouldn’t get an abortion.

And that is why the IUD needs to stay in place.

Sorry, you sound lovely, but it's not fair on the potential child.

I know I still have the IUD in and why are you saying I could never have kids due to my disability? That’s not fair! What if my boyfriend wants to have kids I have to say no I’m too disabled too? No way!

Well I think it's a very bad idea. You think differently, clearly.

Because it’s not about you, and it’s not about what is ‘fair’ for you. It’s about what’s fair for your potential child. No one could force you to terminate, but if you weren’t deemed competent to parent, your child would be freed for adoption unless a kinship carer could be found.

OP, you cant really improve your cognitive abilities even if you can learn some things.

Non of us know you and it sounds like your parents have been trying to help you be as independent as possible as safely as possible.

You can have a baby, but you might not be assessed as able to care for them. You need to think about it less as something you want and more whether motherhood is something you could provide a child.

I think you should talk to your mum and psychiatrist and any social worker you have to build your independence in manageable chunks. Best of luck.

Exactly. Having a child because you want one, who would almost certainly end up in the care system at some point, if even temporarily, is not the right thing to do.

Atm your BF wont have a serious relationship with you and he blames your maturity level as to why he feels that way. He doesnt want kids.

Yes it will. You don't have the functioning skills to be a parent. You don't have the capacity to gain those skills. They are too far out of reach from your starting point. Just like I could never be a professional basketball player because I am 5'3" and have no hand-eye co-ordination. I can practise basketball all day every day but I will never be capable of doing that. I can't get taller.

I might sound cruel right now because it doesn't seem to be sinking in for you that this idea of being a parent is just miles away from what your best life could look like and it's a waste of your energy to consider it.

I know more than one person with similar difficulties who has had a baby in your situation and the baby has either gone to a relative or been placed in care.

Why do you think it’s a bad idea? Some people say I am able to have kids in the future and my disability won’t stop me from that! Some people have different opinions.

Yeah but I have always wanted to be a mom. How can I cope with this?

He told me that he wants kids. So you are saying that he will get someone else pregnant because of my disability? He says he is open for a relationship with me.

Because you can't process simple concepts when expressed to you. You can learn tasks, but parenting involves more than that, you have to be adaptive, and I don't think you can do that. Yes you can physically have a baby. But they grow, and become people with their own personalities and needs. And most likely a lot of needs. I just don't think you can provide the right support for a child. That's sad, but your life can still be great doing other things.

It is not fair on a baby who didn't ask to be born, and is not a doll, to end up in care which will probably happen.

Your mother understands this.

Yeah but why do some people say to me that they think that I will be a good mom one day? And do you think I should get my tubes tied since you say that I could never have kids due to my disability?

Yeah but why do some people say to me that they think that I will be a good mom one day? And do you think I should get my tubes tied since you say that I could never have kids due to my disability?

I don't think you have really because I don't think you fully understand what it means to be a Mum. From your comments, it sounds like you think you will have a sweet little baby who will adore you and you will adore them, dress them in pretty clothes and feed them. I don't think you fully know about the sheer exhaustion, the drudgery, the endless cleaning and cooking, the amount of emotional regulation you need, all the research and reading you need to do and all the decisions you have to make. There's a very good chance your condition is also hereditary which means that the child you have is going require double the amount of care and attention that a typical child requires. At present, your psychologist reports that you don't even understand how to keep yourself safe.

My cousin has similar disabilities to you and had a baby with his ex-girlfriend who also has learning disabilities. He is allowed to have his son with him with a support worker with them at all times but he doesn't have parental responsibility, his girlfriend's Mum is the child's guardian. The child is 6, non-verbal and cannot understand or follow instructions. He and the support worker need to follow him around all day, because he spends his entire time trying to turn every knob and press every switch. He was left alone with me for about 5 minutes in my house and turned on the oven, the air fryer, and the microwave. Whilst I was turning those off, he managed to reach a large tube of ice cream sprinkles and pour them all over the counter and the floor. I didn't have time to clean them up because he had gone into the living room where he took the Lego model my daughter was building and pulled it to bits whilst she cried. None of it was his fault, he just has the understanding of a 9 month old baby in a 6 year old's body. This is what the lives of his carers are like 24/7. Does that sound fun?

Because they are being nice to you. Not truthful, not kind in the long term, but nice.

I'm not going to comment on medical procedures. Stick with the IUD.

To be honest, having a Google, there are programs in New York for people who are Intellectually challenged that offer support in this area. I really think you need to speak to people who know you well. Perhaps say to them "I'm 30 now. I won't be able to get pregnant forever. Do you think I'm ever going to be ready to have a baby of my own? Please be honest because I don't want to waste time trying to get ready for being a parent if it isn't ever going to work."

But you'd have to be brave and willing to hear something that you don't want to hear.

So what should I do if my boyfriend decides to be more serious with me and we both want to have kids together? What should I tell him? No because of my disability? He would leave me. I have feelings too! And also what do you think I should do when my IUD expires? It expires in 5 years.

I dont know this man i dont know what he will do. Some men say they want kids because women like to hear it, some mean it. I dont know him.

But I do know there is a difference between a man saying he wants kids and a man saying he wants kids with you.

You said in an earlier post he is your BF but wont be serious with you because of your maturity level.

Saying hes open to a relationship with you is different to saying he wants a relationship with you.

Hes your BF and youre having sex and sayd hes open to a relationship but currently he is refusing to commit to one with you.

But while hes deciding he does still want sex.

So hes saying one thing and doing another.

It might not be a red flag but it is at least an amber one that id discuss with your mum.

Ok I will tell them that. Can you give me resources of who I can call?

If you want my honest answer, if he really wants kids, he'll have them with someone else. And a new IUD would be a good thing when this one expires.

Who can I call for that? Can you give me resources?

I think you need to think about this in stages.

1. Plenty neurotypical people want children and cant have them and their partners stay. If you meet a man who knows about your disability and commits and loves you, he wont leave if you cant have children.

1. This man wont commit atm so I wouldnt worry about what he might want or do.

1. Its good to have an aspiration in life and none of us here actually know you, so you dont have to agree.

You have 2 things youd like, to live independently and to have a family. You have to start with the living independently so I would sit with your mum, your doctor and any support workers you have and work out what steps you need to take in what time frame to move towards that independence.

I wouldn't worry about babies at all until you're independent.

Just talk to your family and start with small steps to maximise your independence in a safe way