How can I deal with being misdiagnosed by my psychologist?

[Gymnastxo96]

Back in August of 2025 I did phycological testing at a phycologist that I go to and they said my full IQ was 76 which I don’t understand because I type just fine and have good grammar and could type full sentences. Many people say you sure your IQ is 76 because I type just fine and have good grammer and can communicate well. And my adaptive behavior score was 57 which is pretty low. Why would they misinterpret that too? Why would they misinterpret the results and think I don’t understand medical decisions and they recommend medical guardianship. Why would they misinterpret my results? Now people think I am mentally challenged because of this. Are they wrong for misinterpreting the results to make me worse then I seem? Keep in mind I do have high functioning autism so do you think my autism played a role in how I did in the IQ test or you think I was completely misdiagnosed and it could be something else?

Then its not a "remove IUD" kind of relationship

I get that you’re trying to come from a place of concern, but this isn’t a teenager “stamping her feet” she’s a 30 year old adult.
The issue isn’t whether having a baby is ideal. It’s that her autonomy is being taken away. Autism or an IQ score doesn’t automatically make someone incapable of deciding if they want children.
Lots of people have kids in less than perfect situations and we don’t usually suggest controlling their bodies because of it.
There’s a difference between support and control. Helping her prepare is one thing. Preventing her from making her own reproductive choices is another.
That’s why it comes across as infantilising.

Whats his IQ and adaptive score if you know?

I have a boyfriend but it’s not a serious relationship

That’s the issue - she is 30 yet behaving like a teenager stamping her feet. Nobody is saying she shouldn’t have a kid, but she is clearly not in a position to do it at the moment

But earlier you didn’t have one. You are changing your story all the time.

Autism or an IQ score doesn’t automatically make someone incapable of deciding if they want children.

Course not. Which is why the OP's case sounds like there's a lot more to it that she's not saying or understanding. Nor is she saying 'my mom is coercing me - help!'. I don't think anyone here is saying autism/IQ means a person can't have autonomy. It's the other way around - they're seeing that OP doesn't have autonomy and things she's saying don't stack up, so they're urging caution and real life help. That's not infantilising. It's more sensible than saying you go girl.

Look op my son had a score 75 on his IQ test, as a mother I would be happy to support him to live independently but I certainly wouldn’t trust him to be able to look after a newborn/child on his own, thankfully he doesn’t want children anyway.
76 is a moderate learning disability, it’s just not a good idea for you and will cause you heartbreak. It’s unlikely that social services will deem you fit enough to be a parent, especially without serious input of help and support from others.
focus on living independently and enjoying your life. There’s so much more to life than children.

If you are getting therapy, then you need to speak to your therapist. They can help you understand why the medical guardianship is needed, discuss your current abilities to manage your own life, and if they agree with you that you are capable of independent living they'll probably be able to refer you to organizations who can help you end the guardianship.

But if you trust your therapist and they say that you are NOT ready to live independently and that the medical guardianship is needed for your welfare for now, are you going to accept that? Will you ask them what you need to do to develop your independent living and decision making skills?

Here in CA we have numerous 'Independent Living Centers' that help people learn if they are ready to live on their own and how to manage it. New York has them too. Below is a link to the ones in NY. You may want to contact the one nearest to you. They may be able to assess you and see what's what.

ncil.org/about/find-your-cil-list/?_amo_organizations_state=ny

@sunshinestar1986 but her use of language and way of thinking was "stamping her feet" (or was earlier in the thread), very indicative of a younger mentality, which was one of her original questions.

You are right obviously many people have babies in less than perfect conditions, but if the OP was my daughter I would be doing everything in my capacity to stop it happening too. What's the alternative? Baby taken away at birth if the OP isn't deemed capable? Would that really be better, for anyone?

In that case I wouldnt remove your IUD until youre in a serious relationship and thats irrespective of IQ of adaptive brain score

If medical guardianship in the US follows a similar process to Deputyship in England, it isn’t a quick process and it isn’t agreed lightly. It isn’t about OP’s DM infantilising and controlling OP. OP not making ideal decisions wouldn’t meet the threshold on its own.

You say you don’t have a younger mental age here:

”I am very mature for my age and just because I’m autistic doesn’t mean I have a low mental age.”

Then say you’d want to date someone ‘typical’ rather than “someone the same mental age as me”.

“I wouldn’t want to date someone the same mental age as me. I had no problem dating typical guys.”

If you believe your mental age matches your actual age then what do you mean by saying you don’t want to date someone the same mental age as you?

Im not trying to be challenging, I just found this confusing and wanted to clarify what you meant.

I hope you’ll do that @Gymnastxo96 You’ll find that your mom, your therapist, etc, will then support you in doing as much as you can within the limits of your personal diagnosis and situation. They’ll help and support you. This is a good thing. Listen to them.

So you won't be having a baby with him, then.

You need to ensure that the IUD remains in situ.

You shouldn't be considering having it removed, not when you only have a very casual boyfriend.

This

So he doesn't accept you OP. That should tell you that he's not right for you. You are right in wanting someone who accepts and supports you.

I'm guessing it's his idea not to make things official and just to 'see' each other? If I was your mum I'd be very concerned that he wants to 'see' you for sex but has no interest in a proper relationship with you. That is why people are concerned that you could be used by men and not realise it is happening. You deserve much better than that OP. It's definitely possible for you to meet someone genuine but it's not easy for anyone, especially when men can be very good at picking up if someone is vulnerable in one way or another.

You also say you work part time and don't get any money from the government - how will you afford to live away from your mum? The cost of having your own place is high but it's not clear if that is something you have thought about? I do think of course that you deserve independence and to live away from your mum but I think some kind of supported living might be the way forward if that sort of thing is available. So you have your independence but you are still supported.

It's a really good idea to learn as much as you can about your diagnosis, it can really help you understand yourself and your struggles better.

How would you feel if your parents or the government decided that you couldn't have children because you weren't in a stable relationship?
People also decide to have children in the UK as teenagers, or when they aren't in a good financial situation. Should they too be prevented from having kids?
Who gets to decide and why?
Why not simply help this woman achieve her goals and dreams even if it takes a couple of years?

Op I say this really kindly as someone who is probably neurodiverse but on the milder side (mine is more Inattention, anxiety and stress related with organising everyday tasks and socialisation.. So auadhd). Having a baby probably isn't the best decision for you.
You don't have your own place, so of course your mum doesn't want to be landed with caring for a baby. You seem to be hyperfixating on having your iud out but now is clearly not the right time.

I have my second born in my lap right now and let me tell you it's bloody hard, even for someone who is neurotypical. I didn't cope very well with my first, I got no sleep and I need sleep to function, I had a traumatic first labour and just fought constantly with my partner. I wish I could go back now that I have learned how to deal better with the stress, but that is not possible. For someone who is autistic with a lower IQ they might not be able to cope at all with this or unintentionally neglect the baby.

I say this as someone who is barely on the spectrum and has a job and owns my own home, parenting is not for everyone and will be especially hard for someone who doesn't cope well with change. I had to learn coping strategies to cope with my baby being a baby, in the future my sons meltdowns. Oh yes did i forget to mention he's basically a mini me, demand avoidant, Ocd, anxious and doesn't cope well with change, so bare in mind your child is likely to inherit your problems and you will have to raise them to be a responsible adult or be their carer.

Luckily I adapt to change, I just take a lot longer so the second one has been easier.. But as I said it's very hard.
Please don't look at having a baby with rose tinted glasses, they are not a novelty, they are not like having a pet or a dolly, they grow up and can be little bastards (my son hits, kicks and bites during the worst meltdowns).
Just think about getting yourself in a better place first one step at a time, living independently should be your first step.

That's just it though @sunshinestar1986 , most people have been generally supportive on the thread, helping the OP explore and understand why she might be vulnerable, to talk more to her mum and therapist, to work on elements of her independence etc- no-one has said she should never have children.

There is obviously a complex medical/legal arrangement in place where the mum is having a "say" over the medical care of her thirty year old daughter so it isn't just a case of her not being in a good financial situation is it- its not the same situation at all.

Uk does not do blanket iq. Uk looks at mental capacity around specific decisions the person may be making. There is a "severe mental impairment category " eg for housing but otherwise for cases like op it would be decision specific. So for iud decision does op have capacity to make the decision and understand implications?

Op is in the US