Love Actually - Hasn’t dated so well…

[SMAJJ]

Following on from an earlier thread regarding Four Weddings, I watched Love Actually a few years back and can remember a few things that made me think it’s not dated so well!
Fat shaming, misogyny, homophobic but the worse one for me personally was Colin Firth’s character using an offensive ableist slur…
AIBU and overthinking it - it’s what it is yadda yadda even though it makes me cringe and is slightly triggering ( child has a disability)

its on over Christmas and it’s annoying me that it’ll be lumped in as a great Christmas film but I find it really outdated and offensive!

I really hate that kind of stuff: it’s nasty and outdated!!
Someone give my head a wobble but be kind if you do….

If so why are you reading another thread on it…. 🙄

If discussions like this didn't happen, nothing would change.
Richard Curtis didn't follow the same 'rules' or norms as film makers did in the 70s when he was growing up.

Those of you that are LA fans should be grateful that as a result of previous discussions, you got a film you love. And you are free to continue enjoying. You're not stuck watching the equivalent of Carry on Christmas or jokes about Mrs Slocombe's pussy, which of course loads of viewers loved at the time.

The discussion crops up every year because every year people see for the first time the issues that some of us saw in 2003.

And as a result (most) filmmakers etc. take stock, and consider how they approach their work in the future.

Why is that a bad thing @DBSFstupid @Twitch1994? You are free to continue watching it and loving it. Just as some continue loving Carry on films and 70s sitcoms.

You are free to disagree so why are you so affected by a different opinion?

Whatever anyone thinks about the film, love it, hate it, thinks it this or that, I still find it nasty that a writer thought to use an ableist slur to describe something. I’m aware that films and tv shows were different back then to today but hearing Colin Firth call himself that was shitty…and it’s the only film I know of that uses that slur. I’m sure there must be others but this is the one I remember most.

I’ve a disabled child so yes it is triggering, not the film, the word - and to hear it said in 2025 pissed me off.. I hate that word… detest it and think you all pretty much feel the same… so it’s fine to love the film, fine to hate the film, fine to have any old opinion on it, fine to take the piss out of me being sensitive’ but in regards to that particular ableist word I am…
I fucking hate it being said full stop….

It was crap in the first place.

That's exactly how I saw it too.

That entire storyline as @HowardTJMoon describes it, is about a woman's body shape and size. She is referenced multiple times by different characters as being overweight. The story we're being asked to celebrate is that Hugh Grant merely doesn't act as much of a dick as all the others! That's a really low bar even 20 years ago to regard as some kind of anti-fat shaming victory. And according to a quick Google, what the PM actually says when he's carrying her down the stairs is "God, you weigh a lot!" which Natalie takes as endearing teasing not an insult.
It's not an in-joke of an established couple as @HowardTJMoon suggests because they are only at the point of getting together!
Its a middle aged man's version of being an ok sort of a bloke and how his love interest should respond 🙄

Deleted scene........ Anne Reid and Frances de la Tour play a lesbian couple One of them is terminally ill

I'll get told off for this, but if you want to watch it but find some of it objectionable don't pay for it, get it on the high seas iyswim incidentally I was thoroughly chastised by my mum for saying "s**z" on about 1966, so never mind all that "of it's time" stuff

Come again?

I just laughed and choked on my diet coke at the same time. Genuinely wondered if your comment was the last thing I'd ever read!

@Floorclean qué?

You do realise these characters are written by a bloke?

And I did already say this, but the additional storyline with Aurelia’s sister aka ‘Miss Dunkin’ Donuts’ launches the whole film into the fattist* zone.

*Like The Twilight Zone but with added carbs.

Yes - that's the worst storyline in a very packed pool of shit storylines. The whole film stinks like dog shit.

Well it seems that love actually, is NOT all around! Christ, it’s a FILM!

I really don't want to put words into the OP's mouth - but I don't think she's commenting on the quality or otherwise of the film. She's upset about the use of a casual ableist slur. And, fwiw, it contaminates the whole film for me,

Thank you 🙌🏻😘

Its my favourite film, each to their own. Just dont watch it, I'm sorry it offends.

DH and I watched it yesterday ( I am ill and was having a duvet day) and realised that we’d never seen the first half. We’ve always watched it because we’ve turned over and it’s just been on. We did ‘ouch’ at certain things - Hugh Grant telling MM she weighs a ton when he’s carrying her out of the Christmas concert despite her telling him earlier about her fat shaming ex, all the Kris Marshall storyline, and particularly the Colin Firth slur, but very much in the ‘this hasn’t dated well’ vein. Mainly I was interested to see how the first half tied up with the second, after all these years!

I watched it yesterday too, after seeing this thread ….it’s a load of misogynistic, cynical and crass pap, I actually turned if off after an hour - the only moving part was Liam Neeson enduring what he had to endure a few years later with the loss of his wife - I didn’t realise he was even in it.

I’ve always loved Steel Magnolias” and can quote large chunks of it, but now when I watch it, all I can see is how white it is!
The maids are Latino and there is one black child looking for Easter eggs at the end!

Yes, it's odd. We have films where characters are literally killing innocent people, committing the worst assaults possible and doing all kinds of terrible things and people don't get offended by this as they understand it's storytelling. This is especially true if the films are recreating historical events.

Love Actually simply reflects some of the sensibilities of the time and we might well watch it now and be appalled but it's odd to get so irate about this when there are films that depict the Holocaust where disabled people were literally killed for the mere fact that they were disabled. The sexism is very mild compared to some sexism shown in period dramas. Some films that focus on slavery show the most awful racism you can imagine possible but it wouldn't really be an accurate depiction without it would it?

I don't think people watch films and suddenly think that the language used or the actions they see are acceptable. It doesn't work like that.

Your arguments are so flawed it's staggering.

But with specific reference to @SMAJJ 's point relating to the ableist slur used in the film, I can say without doubt that did not reflect the "sensibilities of the time". The excellent and long established charity, The Spastic Society, had to change their name to Scope in 1994 because of the offensive appropriation of the word. So, no. It wasn't an acceptable term in 2003 and there's no justification in the context of Colin Firth's character or storyline that would make it relevant to be used. It was written without thought or consideration. Casual ableism.

I remember at the time a reviewer, probably Mark Kermode, saying that Love Actually is a series of trailers for one or two good films and several bad ones.
It does, however, at the point Emma Thompson finds the CD, have one of the finest single scenes of cinema.

It’s a film, it’s funny, get a grip.