Love Actually - Hasn’t dated so well…

[SMAJJ]

Following on from an earlier thread regarding Four Weddings, I watched Love Actually a few years back and can remember a few things that made me think it’s not dated so well!
Fat shaming, misogyny, homophobic but the worse one for me personally was Colin Firth’s character using an offensive ableist slur…
AIBU and overthinking it - it’s what it is yadda yadda even though it makes me cringe and is slightly triggering ( child has a disability)

its on over Christmas and it’s annoying me that it’ll be lumped in as a great Christmas film but I find it really outdated and offensive!

I really hate that kind of stuff: it’s nasty and outdated!!
Someone give my head a wobble but be kind if you do….

a child whose mother has died being driven to the airport and encouraged to break the law

oh come on. That is a reach

YABVU.

its a bloody wonderful film.

No it hasn't aged well..I used to love Breakfast Club and can't watch it now for similar reasons.
But I would still enjoy watching Love Actually..love Hugh Grant. I'm not immune to ablist comments, my son has complex disabilities and there are plenty of 'ists' comments on here every day.

I hated it when it came out! Lots of sleazy entitled men, too many storylines, too long, hardly any likeable characters and not funny.

It’s hands down the worst film I’ve ever seen, but I think when you’re watching something from a different time you just go with it.

@Jabtastic sorry I can’t write it, and glad I didn’t as it’d be held up, my little boy has Cerebral Palsy and I hate the word

I definitely notice all these things re-watching a film now which I didn't notice as a teen/child, but for the most part I see it as just being a sign of those times and being grateful things have moved on! I'll watch something and go wow, that absolutely would not be allowed these days (thankfully!)

I did watch Grease 2 for the first time as an adult with my daughter, and I absolutely hated it. Spent twice as long watching it because I kept pausing to explain why x,y,z was wrong.

Good teachable moments and I suppose it goes to show that if you enjoyed a film a few decades ago you're more likely to gloss over things you notice later on. But watching that for the first time in 2025 I was like nope, this is outrageous!

No I know and honestly I'm not asking you to write it. I was just annoyed at Mumsnet deleting my post rather than simply letting me edit it as it looked like I had attacked you or your thread. Love and solidarity to your little boy and all of us who have impaired movement.

Yes, I remember thinking even back then that there was a general theme of men being sleazy - in particular men perving over women they are in a position of authority over.
And this is portrayed as romantic. Yuk.

Yeah it’s outdated, they wouldn’t make the movie like this now. So what? You can’t erase what stuff that already been done. Just don’t watch it

I could never understand how a man lusting after his best friend’s wife and negging her could be romantic

My mum always said that word was worse than 'fuck' (along with racist words)*. I am 52. So no, it's not a new thing to think the word is unacceptable.

*She also hit the roof if we blasphemed.

Don’t watch it . What’s the point of being offended at everything you see .

Given that it's really not an old film, honestly, would anybody say, "oh, it's just of its time" if he'd used a racist slur? I very much doubt it. I do find it massively offensive.

I think if you’re offended by something; don’t watch it.

Don’t try to stop others watching.

Also, it’s not really that time has changed. It wasn’t massively acceptable back then either, it’s a risqué line.

The issue is that back then, you didn’t have a disabled child, so you didn’t care.

Thank you 🌹

Yes absolutely! You’re spot on! Now I have a child with severe disabilities I see things differently! I won’t watch it again but can understand why others love it…. I think the Emma Thompson scene is brilliant. But yep you’re spot on x

identity politics has changed massively in the 20+ years since it was made. So many films of the 90s/2000s sit uneasily now. Stuff from the 80s is even worse! I loved Splash! as a kid, but I don't recommend re-watching that (Tom Hanks as sexual predator of vulnerable, voiceless, naked woman!)

The one that really gets me in Love Actually is the stalking (of Keira Knightly) and how we all thought it was romantic at the time. Now I watch it and it baffles me how I could have thought that.

So yeah, watch with a critical eye and awareness of the changing context. Or don't watch at all!

People used that language then rightly or wrongly, so it’s just reflecting life then. I’ve never understood why people get upset about it when no one is saying it was a good thing, and not every charger is lovely so if they say something horrible it’s just a character fault more often than not. It just is what it is.

Completely agree with this. Every storyline is horrible.

YANBU but all of that is why I never really liked it anyway. I did enjoy bits of it but there’s too much creepy weird stuff and all the bits you mention to have been able to like it like lots of others did.

Yes this. It's awful in so many ways.

I wonder if the film had some American writers. I have spastic hemiplegia (I hope I can write that here!) and I remember being shocked reading posters on an American forum using it as a generalised insult for people being clumsy or uncoordinated. When I pointed it out, they got annoyed with me and said I was being overly sensitive - and these were people who were very keen on 'inclusive language' in other contexts. I think there's a cultural difference where they don't see it as offensive. Still unpleasant to read or hear though.

I watched it the other day as I'd never seen it. It was mildly entertaining I suppose but considering what a classic and favourite it is lauded as, I was totally baffled.

Weak, silly, disjointed and preposterous - a school concert on the evening of Christmas Eve? Popping along to that before emigrating the same evening? When the different stories joined up towards the end I had ceased to care about any of the characters. I wondered if I had missed the point or something.

One good thing, I was able to do some housework and cook a pie whilst watching on my tablet as it didn't require much concentration.

Totally agree.