Neurodiversity thread - for all MNetters who are neurodiverse - ASD, ADHD, Dyspraxia and more.

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Welcome one and all to the new thread. A safe haven for MNetters who identify as neurodiverse, diagnosis or not, and those waiting for assessment. Links available in recent threads. Newbies welcome. We just ask that you introduce yourself

There's no raisin to be like that you 2!

Help me MN has got stuck on the last ten or so posts of this on a never ending loop!!

Rural I saw your news - I'm glad you have an answer, what sort of format was the appointment?

I've been stuck on a thread which I've had to hide as it was bad for my blood pressure!
On the plus side it has fired me up to work hard and get this degree so I can try to do something about other peoples' shitty attitudes.

Hi everyone. I suspect I'm autistic but I'm not diagnosed yet.
The main thing that makes me hesitant about pursuing a diagnosis is that I'm very aware of my social ineptitude and also very aware of other people's reactions to me. For instance, recently I've noticed that when I start talking to someone their expression drops immediately and they kind of grimace back at me -- it's as if they're trying (and failing) not to show their discomfort. I realise that this is partly because they're mimicking my own expression but also because I have a lot of trouble with eye contact, my voice and face lack emotion, and I speak very formally/ functionally.
Much of what I've read describes autistic people as being completely oblivious to how they're coming across whereas I'm almost the opposite. I'm hyper aware of how people respond to me. I suppose what I'm asking is whether this kind of self-awareness is compatible or consistent with being autistic.

Yeah, I know damn well I'm useless with people, I see the effect I'm having, but am powerless to do anything about it. Lots of people seem to like me anyway, though, if that's any consolation? We're just an acquired taste.

Welcome sjausmann! You're welcome go hang here while you get your head around the possibility of having ASD. We're a friendly bunch. Some of us are diagnosed, some aren't.

I find that some people take an instant dislike to me and can't even be bothered to hide it. I was interviewed a while back for a job I knew I was best qualified for (internal so I knew all the applicants) but the senior person interviewing dislikes me and intimidated me so much I did really badly at interview. It knocked my confidence overall. I've ended up moving departments to get away. I'm fortunate in that I have a few friends who have just decided that they like me and we're friends! Re body language, I mask an awful lot which helps with the social interaction but it's very tiring and I have to hide afterwards!

I've been told that people like me, I tend to be innoffensive and smiley, but then friendships don't develop, because I can either be bland, smiley and shallow, or intense and interesting (although the intensity may come across as boring if you don't share my interests). I have a good line in pointless small talk, so I appear to be fine, but the small talk is just learned lines.

The people I do have as friends (1 or 2 people) like me as I am.

Hi, sjausmann.

I don't think that awareness is incompatible with autism (especially in women). If this thread shows anything, it's that many of the commonly held beliefs about autism are either flat out wrong or more complex than people (even professionals) realise.

We're adult human beings with normal intelligence and years of social experience - we're capable of seeing and thinking about all kinds of information coming in from the world around us including that about other people and how they react to us. It would be amazing if we weren't aware of how others respond to us. If I were terrible at, say, driving - not able to quickly scan a road situation and instantly take in the person about to reverse out from a drive, the child playing with a ball on the pavement whose mum is distracted, the concealed side road, or the roadworks changing the flow of traffic ahead, and slow to react when things happen - I would still notice the near-misses and accidents I had.

Congratulations rural. I think you said you have indigestion, so do I.

Getting the diagnosis reminds me of that film with Steve Martin, The Jerk.

He was raised in a black family and assumed at some point he would change colour. When they tell him he is not their natural born son he cries "You mean I'm going to stay this colour?"

A random association but you do get that feeling that fundamentally this is who you are after so many years of trying so hard to get with the programme!

I found myself talking to someone and saying I still felt like I did at 6 years old inside. Next thing I was crying and saying "And that's never going to change" as it dawned on me, my actions and behaviour were down to ASD and my whole past was explained.

Hi sjausmann!

I hope this doesn't sound patronising - but have you considered that you might actually be reading them wrong? I very often read people as being bored with me when they've actually just dropped eye contact (I can do eye contact - I stare them in the eye and do not let my gaze drop, which is probably overcompensating for years of being told "look at me when you speak to me!") I mostly find other people's concentrating faces look like grimaces. I almost always interpret impassioned or pressured speech as someone shouting at me. I generally assume people don't like me but NT observers say that it's sometimes actually me reading them wrong.

Laura, that's a good point. My sister always seems to be saying, 'You look like you're about to cry,' to people. Occasionally, the person she's talking to might have slightly teary eyes (maybe from the wind or from sneezing or something) or perhaps does look a bit down but most of the time they don't look like they're about to cry. There's obviously just something she's misinterpreting.

A website isn't accepting payment for something I'm trying to buy.

It's sent me into a complete panic. I'm fairly sure there is plenty of money in the account and it's a glitch with the website or something because the 'payment declined' message is coming up immediately and if it was an 'insufficient funds' thing it would surely take at least a few seconds to process (and even then don't they normally go through but then send you an email saying there's not enough money??).

I've checked all the info I'm entering about 10 times and deleted it all and put it in again etc. I've also checked for a 'I agree to T&C' type box that I've missed but found nothing.

It's such a stupid thing but I'm really wound up about it and can't check the balance of the account right now, either.

I hate that these sorts of things get me so stressed.

I've just booked onto a public speaking thingy at Wrexham University in March
It's being run by Sarah Hendrickx. First come first served, I hope I get a spot!
I rarely leave my comfort bubble which is about 5 miles in diameter.
Now frantically googling where to go, where to stay etc! 😱😱😱😱😱

This is it if anyone's interested

Have you seen, there's new courses for autistic women in work. But why are they all in London? I've only been to London once or twice but it's almost instant sensory overload for me, just the enormity of the city and all the different travel methods...

I wonder if they would do it in different cities if there was enough demand? I think with planning and support I could manage to get to most cities, just not London!

Yes, that would be really good.
It's about 2 and a half hours from me so I'll probably travel home after, unless I can persuade Dh otherwise and make it a little holiday! Assuming I don't get lost and cock it all up (which does happen from time to time ).

Ds3 is ill off school and having what looks very much like a meltdown because I'm going away in 4 months.

I have a massive stressy headache now. I have 4 months to plan this and I'm a stress head already!

If it was London I wouldn't consider it, far too scary, even if someone else was babying me all the way.