A new Neurodiversity support thread for those with suspected or diagnosed ASD, ADHD and other NDs

[PigPigTrotters]

Yet another thread for neurodivergent mumsnetters.

Lots of links in old threads.

Anyone is welcome, it's not just about autism.

I know it was a while back but you commented on him talking about the "hive mind". That amused me greatly as I get where he is coming from. You must have some great conversations?

Polter we often talk about putting on one of our personas to deal with various situations. Do you think this is mainly a female ASD thing? Does your son have a firm sense of self or do you think he brings the chameleon out?

Glad you've managed to work it out Polter.

I'm feeling too cold to get enthusiastic about fireworks

The funeral thing, I mean.

I love fireworks; geometric patterns, chemistry and decorative lights in an otherwise dark sky, it's perfect for me. I know the noises are coming so I don't jump a mile like I do if someone coughs next to me unexpectedly. DD was in the sling and had her ear defenders on and enjoyed watching the lights, and the party we were at was full of autists anyway so I didn't feel under pressure to perform.

Glad the funeral situation is sorted Polter!

Oh me too. People keep saying how cold it is but I'm still baking! Still, saves on the heating bills.

You definitely can describe your son as interesting. My son was such a complicated little thing back in the late 80's .and I knew he was different to his peers but didn't know why. I must away to my bed.

You're never too old for fireworks, especially if you're mildly fire-obsessive like me. My family called me a pyro when I was a kid. Fire is just so pretty and flowy and fascinating. That thing people say about autistic children and water? I was like that with fire. I could run my fingers through it for hours and often did. Matches, paper, twigs, campfires, bonfires, barbecues, the woodburner, the fireplace… as a teen I modulated it a bit and just played with candles in my room a lot. There were many burn marks. Always had brown spots on my fingers where matches had burnt down.

There's just something so special about fire. Incredibly simple but intricate and complex, always changing. You can never guess what it will do next or where the centre will shift, but you can guide it, feed it in the right way, and keep it contained. But you can't just cage it. You won't hold it back by force. You need to know its nature. And it's gentle, when you pass your hands through the flame - like the softest trickle of water brushing upwards against your fingers. If you try to trap it, it will die. And it's more powerful than anything anyone can control. It's just… it's magical. Scary and comforting and powerful and gentle. I love fire.

Me too rat - every weekend that the summer allows we are away camping with a big campfire in the evening. DD is a classic water baby and I have to keep her away from the fire as she would bathe in it if she could!

Polter - I meet people through obsessive and unusual interests and I seem to encounter more people either on the spectrum or with partners on the spectrum than normal! I collected two more autistic parents (one mum, one dad) this evening without even trying.

We should meet up and burn things.

Yes we should. We're in London, where are you? And we have a fire bowl. It's getting a bit chilly for camping...

I only like fireworks when I'm inside. I hate the noises.

Polter I have Aspie friends. Not really sure how, more gravitated towards each other. They rarely mingle though!

Surrey here. And it's the perfect night to set fire to the houses of parliament too.

I did not just type that and publish it.

Pleased you're not going to the funeral Polter.

Fireworks all done here, ds3 found it noisy despite ear defenders and started to whinge so they came home earlier than expected, which was a little bit disappointing!

I occasionally meet some people who,I suspect are autistic, but I never have a great desire to socialise, and when I do I'll go and see someone I already know. A MN autist meet up somewhere central to us all would be good sometime, I'd like to meet you all, seeing as you make up a large part of my social life!

I think social convention is overrated (I've been trying to write a blog about this today!), and I find some conventions pointless and bizarre. Eg. My mother was ranting about one of the AutumnWatch presenters (not Chris Packham or Michaela Strachen, the other one) awarding a prize on TV the other day, everyone was dressed up, he wasn't, which apparently shows a huge lack of respect - he was chosen presumably for his personality and presence, not for his clothes wearing qualities , and I assume he didn't moon at the audience, or swear at the recipient of the award, in which case yes, it was disrespectful.
I also think that convention plus sheep like qualities leads to widespread acceptance of bullying, in schools, on the streets, in work and via government, because anyone who doesn't fit a socially acceptable, materialistic mould is seen as being wrong, or inferior, or a scrounger. Which pisses me off.

I'm behind on the thread now, sorry. Rat - I've been known to forget my DH's name and at work I have no chance.

Quick question - is stimming a key criteria in adults?

Faith - I only ever picture characters as people I already know really well