A new Neurodiversity support thread for those with suspected or diagnosed ASD, ADHD and other NDs

[PigPigTrotters]

Yet another thread for neurodivergent mumsnetters.

Lots of links in old threads.

Anyone is welcome, it's not just about autism.

Choice to get an assessment is never easy, whether it's for yourself as an adult or a child. It's still not clear who does what which makes the whole process even melds stressful (for potentially vulnerable people!). Anyway, my advice would be to ask 'Does the benefit of the diagnosis outweigh the stress of getting diagnosed?'

I'm feeling quite productive! I suspect it's a combination of a. Stabilising on my meds, b. Getting counselling, c. Counting down the shifts Til I leave my current job and d. Eating better. I've started doing things I've been meaning to do for ages - selected and printed the pictures to put in DD's baby book (which took AGES!), tidied up the garage, batch cooked soup...you all those things you keep meaning to do but just can't find the oomph to do? Those things.

My house isn't too bad at the moment. I Kondoed it, started two years ago and it's been better ever since. Never gone back to the state it was when I started. I'm very lucky though, we have a cleaner every 4 weeks and I can cope with the maintanence in between. Otherwise I'd either never do basic cleaning or only do basic cleaning but never deep clean stuff like the fridge, cupboards etc.

I'm sorry rat, that must be really hard. My house isn't as bad as yours but i can totally see how things can end up like that. I get overwhelmed so easily, I can't imagine how you must be feeling

Oh god the fridge, I really need to do ours but I forget until I get a food shop delivery but by then tbe fridge is full so I tell myself I'll do it before the next one and so the cycle continues.

Faith, that's the I got, I don't know if it is worth the stress (yet?).
At the moment he's following a similar pattern to ds1 and 2, but as has been pointed out to me several,times, I can't assume that he's going to be the same as them.

I thought I hadn't lost weight, but I have, from my feet
I bought some cat boots a few months ago, couldn't get them on my fat feet, tried them on this morning and they fit! If only weight loss could spread to my tummy and everywhere else!

Polter I think it's easier to do someone else's space. You're slightly removed and it's easier to be impartial about what to keep and what to bin.

My phones broken. The power key is stuck and I can't get it out. I'm going to have to go to a shop and talk to people aren't I?

Probably HRF, unless google can help?

Polter I think that's why that OCD cleaners TV show works so well, people who love cleaning and sorting help people who don't know where to start. I love stuff like that!

I like sorting out DVDs and bookshelves.
But I don't do my own as the children keep messing it all up.

Hi all,
Sorry I've been AWOL...have been reading though and still agreeing (and sitting using my laptop on my bed instead of facing any of the mess in the rest of the house!).

I'm in a really sticky situation at work (in a school) and think I'm going to have to pull out of it later today as I can't bear it anymore. It makes me feel rubbish to think I'm throwing away doing something I enjoy, the chance of a good reference and possible eventual permanent job but I can't deal with the headteacher anymore since he had a meeting with me 4 weeks ago and demanded to know what my doctor had said; humiliated me for being scared of a temporary member of staff and accused me of stuff that I couldn't have even done as I was elsewhere at the time. He wasn't giving me time to answer questions or think. I've written him 4 emails trying to resolve the situation, and given him two deadlines for sorting it out, but the only reply I got was on Tuesday evening when he said he would get back to me "soon" if I carry on working. I have asked what he means by "soon" but he hasn't replied. It's only a little job (on a casual basis, so no contract) but I'm really upset that he can't see how unfair he was. The only thing he has suggested is having another meeting. The first one was bad enough, I'm not going to want another am I?!

Arghh. All nt people I've talked to about it just say to "put it behind me" but I can't, it's filling my head every day.

Yes I have Polter (love your rice idea btw!) . Am in Hampshire if anyone needs to know adult diagnosis process there...

Stop - that sounds crap. Meetings are generally anxiety-inducing so I can see why having another one wouldn't be ideal. I mostly work from home which means I don't have to sit through endless meetings that I can't follow/remember anything about.

I'm in Milton Keynes if anyone knows anything about dx here?

GP told me to get my psychologist to send a letter so they can justify applying for funding but that just makes me think how embarrassing it'll be if I'm told I'm NT

You'd be very welcome, Polter ! Although unfortunately DP wouldn't allow it.

I need help decluttering. A guy came to check the boiler this morning and I was very embarrassed about all the clutter (luckily, I'm still obviously ill enough I could blame it on illness).

I vaguely felt like I recognised the boiler man so there's a chance I know him from somewhere and he now thinks I'm really rude for treating him like a stranger. Stupid face-blindness.

DS2 is driving me mad again with his whole 'my hands are wet' thing. He's going on about it constantly and I can't seem to help or distract him. He's just crying and whinging about it and I'm trying hard not to lose my temper because I know it's not his fault.

DH suggested using some of that alcohol based hand sanitiser stuff. Not ideal but I tried it and it helped for all of about a minute. I'm going to see how much rice we have in the pantry...

Thanks - yes, dx is known about and I'm the autism ambassador for the school too so am not scared to say "this is difficult because..."! HOWEVER, just as I've finished writing letter to head and complaint to governors, my colleague has told me we're getting a letter this afternoon that HT has resigned, with effect from the end of term. Arghh... can I hack it until Christmas and then see what the new guy is like?! I guess I should...

BDH what is your son like if his hands are actually wet? Bath or playing with bowl of water and toys might be an interesting experiment... Different temperatures might make a difference too - ice block wrapped in something; or a hot water bottle / wheat bag might be worth trying to see which sensations he does like.

Face blindness! It was a lightbulb for me to know that this is a thing. Really really struggle to remember people until I've met them many times. Even then I find it hard to imagine someone's face in my mind.

And the house situation. I love a tidy house, it really helps me to function better but I'm hopeless at tidying. Get totally overwhelmed with no idea where to start. I'm often found to be stropping around the house declaring it's a total sh1t tip but with no inclination to sort it.

And people eating my dh is totally trained to come no where near me if he is eating crisps. Honestly, can't bear any food noises really.

Really love this thread

StopMe, he loves playing with water but gets very upset if e.g. his clothes get wet, so water play is problematic. Sometimes he's funny about bubbles in the bath getting on him and/or his toys, as well.

He's not very sensitive to temperature (as a baby he'd happily sit with his hand stuck in the freezer or on a hot radiator without seeming to notice) but I do sometimes give him ice to play with/eat/whatever.

I guess it's good the HT will be leaving? I know it still means sticking around for a while but this time of year tends to fly by.

Mog, I'm exactly the same in terms of faces and it was a revelation to me to find out it was a 'thing'.

I've started watching a new series and there seem to be a few characters who are young, white men with dark hair and who always wear shirts. I'm struggling to figure out who's who every time they turn up.

I find this thread really good for just letting you know you're not alone. There are other people out there with the same sorts of struggles. It's comforting.

BDH yes - good thing head is leaving. I've just rewritten my letter to him saying "Glad to hear you have resigned so I don't have to." (but I'm not going to hand it in today...will wait over the weekend at least!).

I was dx with prosopagnosia (face blindness) well before ASD - it was before there was a recognised link between the two. Coincidentally I've just been chatting online with a friend who is also face-blind and we were talking about how difficult it is to tell Teresa May and Hilary Clinton apart when you just see their faces!

I don't have face blindness, but I have selective weirdness - if I see someone in the wrong place I will recognise them, but my brain thinks I knew them 20 years ago rather than seeing them every day but in a different place.

I'm sure we discussed this here before, but I have certain people I cannot tell apart (two TAs as the dc's old school looked exactly the same to me, and there are two actresses who I can't tell apart, can't remember their names though ).