Neurodiversity support thread for women with diagnosed, self diagnosed or suspected ADHD and ASC

[BertieBotts]

Continuing the good work of the lovely EauRouge :) Our first thread in the shiny new section. Seems like they created it just in time for us to fill up the old one

Link to the previous thread

This is a support thread for any posters who feel that they might be (or know that they are) on the Autistic spectrum or have ADHD. Feel free to jump in! Some of us are diagnosed, some not, some trying to work out what it's all about. Women with these kinds of issues often present differently to men and as such, can go undiagnosed for a long time. Hopefully, we can help each other understand ourselves and be there for support along the way too.

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall

AS traits in women and girls by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie - Cynthia Kim's blog (Noted as being one of the only sources of information about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Women with ADHD by ADDitude magazine - this is a really good website in general (though it really needs a redesign). Lots of good, well researched info on ADHD and especially ADHD in women and girls. Do follow the links to other articles. They also have a closed facebook group which is good for info (FB is down so can't put the link up.)

Books
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly. (This is available as a PDF somewhere online but I can't find it now - sorry!)

Speakers

This is a new one but it's something I've found really helpful so I hope nobody minds me adding it. I won't link directly to videos because they show up in the thread, but worth searching youtube/Ted/google:

Russell Barkley: Clinical Psychologist who specialises in the subject area of ADHD. He explains it better than anybody else I have come across and has practical solutions to support life with it. He is VERY long-winded, but his talks are packed with info. Highly recommend.

Ned Hallowell: Another psychologist who actually lives with ADHD himself and has interesting insights. Author of the book "The ADHD effect on marriage". He is a little bit cheesy but worth a watch.

Sorry I only have ADHD links to put here but if anybody knows a good ASC speaker, feel free to add!

Online quizzes

Of course no online quiz is sufficient for diagnosis, but can be a useful signposting tool and a starting point for discussion with your GP.

RDOS Aspergers test

AQ test

Adult ADHD screening test

Symptom checklist of ADHD in women

131 aspie
71 NT

Maybe we've found a new trend? An hourglass shape which falls neither more to the left or right represents a kind of neurodiversity which is not ASD.

Seeing ADHD results next to ASD ones makes me see how people with ASD easily get misdiagnosed with ADHD if they're shy and seem like they get along with other kids.

I didn't realize just how close of a stone's throw away they really were until I saw the ASD people post their results.

This is mine.
I don't really understand what the peaks and drops mean, must read it more closely!

Aspie 152
NT 55

I would have liked a more nuanced option like 'depends on the situation' for some questions.

Also while I wouldn't identify as asexual, I do actively choose to be celibate and eschew relationships - this isn't an intimacy problem, I just can't be bothered and prefer to put that energy into other things. It isn't the most LGBT friendly quiz I have to say.

Phil on the PDF scroll down, there are pages beneath that explain. It isn't obvious!

Thanks Hopeful, have had a read and it makes more sense!
I think, looking at all the pictures of the same test, it just proves how different we all are, but with vague similarities.

This article was linked on FB today, thought some might find it an interesting read.

Well and truly fucked off today, I'm shocked at how badly some children are let down in schools because they are so tied to government guidelines. So, so fucking fucked off.

And I'm having my hair cut this afternoon, so shitty bad day all round.

I'm at the big soft play today - my worst nightmare! But the kids love it

This is mine got 153/200 aspie and 35/200 on the other side

favourite questions

Do you like to spin around in circles?

Do you have the urge to jump over things?

it had a question along the liens of "when you were a teenager did you find it hard to work out social stuffy wotsit right things to do etc unless they were clearly spelled out?"

i'm like that now!
i haven't got a clue how to act in society, or what things are expected of me.

and I get cross when it's assumed that I'll automatically know what to do or say.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 154 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 51 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

I know what's expected of me socially, but I hate it. It doesn't come easy, and I'm not very good at it, and I avoid it if at all possible!

I spend a long time before a social thingy (whether it's a school meeting, drs appointment, meeting up with someone) planning what to say, how to respond to certain questions, then it throws me if I can't use these "scripts".

Mine was 134/200-my aspie score and my non aspie score was 92/200. I got "you a very likely and aspie". My assessment is next Friday at Lorna Wing Centre.

Mine:

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 161 of 200

Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 40 of 200

You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

I notice several of us have this shape that's shifted to the top right, with lower aspie scores for social and relationship sectors than for communication, perception and talent. Is that a common female Aspie profile, I wonder? Perhaps worth nipping over to wrongplanet to see if men's profiles tend to be different.

Could be girls get away with a bit more in social situations.

With all the girl power movements of the 90's, I know I had an easier time being ADHD growing up, because blurting things out and being rough and tumble was acceptable by then. Also, girls being rough were never cracked down on or seen as a problem like boys were.

My boyfriends all liked that I was blunt and to the point, rough and tumble, and all over the place. Girls don't really value the same things in a man, so he'd be floundering much more in a dating scenario. I'm sure if a man in his enthusiasm tackled a girl to the couch and accidentally hurt her, it would not be quite as understandable or a comical whoops.

With ADS girls I'd assume being shy and quiet is also more acceptable for a girl than a boy who's expected to be assertive. So boys that are inept socially get singled out and excluded, and girls get taken under someone's wing and get more practice at it.

My theory anyway.

Hmmm I wonder if less encouragement for girls to go into careers where you can avoid people more is part of it?

The problem with these quizzes is the ability girls/women have to mimic what others do.
I read these quizzes and I know fucking well what the answers need to be, so it's never a true representation anyway.

That's why I think that assessments definitely need to be more than just asking questions.
I think practical tests like asking me to untie a knot, or complaining that they can't do x on the computer. Or put me in a room with just my Mum (two way mirror) and get her to tell me unuseful stuff. Would work better.

Oh, what other conditions are there on these lines? I want to make sure I can rule other stuff out.
I used to think I had dyspraxia because i ffitted quite a lot of the traits, but not enough after a period of reflection.

I think practical tests like asking me to untie a knot

I dunno. I have an autistic friend that can kick everyone's ass at DDR, which requires far more coordination than you'd expect in a stupid dance game.

It'd be interesting if they could find a conclusive physical test like a brain scan or blood test though. They're working on one for in utero, I'm sure once that's developed they could apply the same test to children and adults.

With my assessment, he explained that how I answered was just as important as what I said. Not just eye contact, stimming etc but processing time and things I was completely unaware of before.

Yes, my assessor also commented on how long it was taking me to answer. Which I did think was a strange thing to say, since he was asking me, I thought, quite hard questions that would take anyone a while to think about.
He was avoiding looking at me throughout actually, and then suddenly stared for a few seconds (or at least that's how I perceived it). Might just have been my imagination.
I didn't lie - he asked if I had routines and I said no, even if I knew it was one of the diagnostic criteria (sort of). But he got round that by saying that my mental rumination fulfilled that role.
Which has made me think a lot since.
For what it's worth...