Neurodiversity support thread for women with diagnosed, self diagnosed or suspected ADHD and ASC

[BertieBotts]

Continuing the good work of the lovely EauRouge :) Our first thread in the shiny new section. Seems like they created it just in time for us to fill up the old one

Link to the previous thread

This is a support thread for any posters who feel that they might be (or know that they are) on the Autistic spectrum or have ADHD. Feel free to jump in! Some of us are diagnosed, some not, some trying to work out what it's all about. Women with these kinds of issues often present differently to men and as such, can go undiagnosed for a long time. Hopefully, we can help each other understand ourselves and be there for support along the way too.

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall

AS traits in women and girls by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie - Cynthia Kim's blog (Noted as being one of the only sources of information about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Women with ADHD by ADDitude magazine - this is a really good website in general (though it really needs a redesign). Lots of good, well researched info on ADHD and especially ADHD in women and girls. Do follow the links to other articles. They also have a closed facebook group which is good for info (FB is down so can't put the link up.)

Books
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly. (This is available as a PDF somewhere online but I can't find it now - sorry!)

Speakers

This is a new one but it's something I've found really helpful so I hope nobody minds me adding it. I won't link directly to videos because they show up in the thread, but worth searching youtube/Ted/google:

Russell Barkley: Clinical Psychologist who specialises in the subject area of ADHD. He explains it better than anybody else I have come across and has practical solutions to support life with it. He is VERY long-winded, but his talks are packed with info. Highly recommend.

Ned Hallowell: Another psychologist who actually lives with ADHD himself and has interesting insights. Author of the book "The ADHD effect on marriage". He is a little bit cheesy but worth a watch.

Sorry I only have ADHD links to put here but if anybody knows a good ASC speaker, feel free to add!

Online quizzes

Of course no online quiz is sufficient for diagnosis, but can be a useful signposting tool and a starting point for discussion with your GP.

RDOS Aspergers test

AQ test

Adult ADHD screening test

Symptom checklist of ADHD in women

These days i keep secrets about my research.
Mix of jealousy, paranoia and being told by local historian that there's a specific local historian that steals research and passes it off as his own....

But yeah, can't get along with my group, can't do essays or extrapolate enough, can't do presentations and find it hard to diversify.

FGS I can't believe I forgot to come back to the thread yesterday!! Sorry, Hopeful!!

Just straight copy and paste here:

Okay so somebody recently informed me that the LANC centre is NOT the only place to get diagnosed on the NHS smile

There is some good advice here: www.simplywellbeing.com/add-and-adhd-diagnosis-uk

And a link to a list of NHS clinics which is maintained by Adult ADD UK.

I want to emphasise the four step process they advocate.

To get a UK NHS diagnosis, AADD recommends:

1. Make a 10 minute appointment with your GP and simply say you want a referral to an adult ADHD specialist for an assessment.
2. Take along the List of Symptoms, with the relevant ones circled. If you wish, write under each symptom, a description of how it has affected your life
3. Take a copy of the NICE Guidelines
4. Tell your GP that you will ring in one week's time to find out how the referral is going
5. The AADD also maintains a List of Adult ADHD Specialists and Clinics. If your area is not on the list, ask your GP for an out-of-area referral.

(Links are intact in the original).

I don't know what they ask about because I haven't been through UK evaluation.

I went direct to the Lorna Wing as ds1 was dx there and asked if they did adult assessments. They do and you can self refer but this way you have to pay. It is a lot of money. I felt I couldn't go to my gp and have to try and justify to him having been through the process with ds for 5 years. I have my assessment in 2 weeks time.

Woop!
Beyond has an official, if somewhat tentative (she said this is completely due to my mums input re the developmental questions and she believes my mum is minimising), diagnosis of aspergers :) :)

Tentative because your mum was minimizing?

I don't have parents or anyone who can give any info to my assessor. Will it be okay?

I have a few childhood memories and my social services record which does more or less say that I was a bit odd.

Yep nickel :( lots of areas that say "now - tick, historical - cross". At least she was the one who brought up my mums blase attitude to my childhood though (that sounds horrible. I dont mean it in a horrible way), at least it didnt come from me, as i was worried it would sound like me making excuses!!

Hidden, there was someone who commented when my assessment started that they did theirs with no parents present (sorry, i cant remember who), so im sure it'll be fine.

Shit that's worrying. My mum is currently insisting that I was a perfectly normal child.
I'm so hoping that she'll come up with specific items in her "normal".
She managed to completely minimize a huuuuuuuge issue that ended with me changing schools at the end of 2nd year seniors. It was odd listening to her palm it off as completely insignificant.

I dont suppose you hav close in age siblings? My psych mentioned this as a possible reason, that over the following 20odd years the memories have blurred as to what was which child? It was important to us, so we remember, but our parents only saw it from outside?

And as my mum volunteered - the year i started school she had a toddler and a tiny baby to distract her

Oh, my mum knows exactly who had the problems.
However, my sisters can also give some good testimonies as to me being neurodiverse.
I had a huge meltdown last time I was home and my mum almost completely ignored it. My big sister saw the whole thing so can help on that kind of thing to remind mum of events

I think the trick will be getting her to write stuff down

I had similar, though luckily she did say i was a drama queen and was 'showing off' when i melted. You could take a sister, it just had to be (for me) someone who could answer developmental q's. My mum is at least better than my dad! My middle sister might have been okay, but lives too far away.

I had mine with no parental input, even though the original letter said they may not be able to formally diagnose without.

To add, I now have an aspergers doagnosis

Mummysparkle I'm glad the assessment went well for you and you had a good outcome.

Had a rubbish day at work. Had an observation yesterday (I'm a probationer teacher - this is my second go after I had to drop out last year) which I had thought had gone really well, but when I went for my feedback with my mentor she said the Head wanted to speak to me. They're saying they're concerned about my ability to cope - that they're worried if next year I was put in a hard school with a hard class it'd destroy me. They're putting "support" in place. I managed to contain myself in the Head's office just about by withdrawing and not saying anything and digging my nails into my arm, but then had a huge meltdown as soon as I left the room - I was crying to the point I couldn't breathe. All I wanted was to find a quiet place to settle myself down, but the cleaners were in my classroom and the staffroom. I went into the toilets but my mentor came in and told me to go home and I couldn't explain to her that I needed to be in there on my own to calm down, so I went outside and hid behind the sign out the front for a while until I felt ready to walk to the train station. It's 4 hours later and I'm at home but I'm still shaky.

Interesting about the parents' perspectives.

I only have brothers, so you'd think it would be easy to keep track, being the only girl. Bit since getting my diagnosis my mum insists she suspected all along, then says things like 'but you were coping so I didn't pursue anything'.

So crying every morning before school was 'coping'?
Cutting myself was 'coping'?
Refusing to eat was 'coping'?
Writing a suicide note was 'coping'?
And that's only the stuff my parents knew about, there was more (fighting, walking out of class, swearing at teachers, head banging) that I managed to keep from them.

Keehar sorry you had such a bad day. Do you have a formal diagnosis? Have you disclosed to your mentor or the head? I'd seriously consider it. For what it's worth, I work in a school and a hard class is very hard going for me- I don't have the ability to instantly read a situation and know how to tackle it, so I do rely heavily on my colleagues for support with behaviour management- techniques for me to mirror and help working out why something is successful or not. It's a skill that can be learned like any other, an aspie might need more explicit teaching and more practice.

ChronicallyAspie I had an assessment a week ago. They told me that they thought I had PTSD, attachment issues and arrested emotional development, but they couldn't diagnose Asperger's partly because of my parents' patchy recollections on the form and partly because I was just too practised at masking. They told me that I was unassessable. They've referred me to specialist counselling but the woman who did the assessment was meant to be phoning me this week and she hasn't yet.

I have disclosed to my boss about the assessment and the PTSD. The man who did the assessment said he would phone my boss if I wanted, but I don't know whether to ask him too or what he would say.

Regarding parents - all through school teachers mentioned that I was highly anxious and that I lacked confidence and self esteem. My parents recently told me that they thought it was all a big joke because I was clever and didn't have anything to be anxious about.

Congrats beyond. Welcome to the ASC Club.

I'd have loved school if it wasn't for some of the other kids - those who wouldn't let me be me.

I'd have loved it if i could go on my own