Neurodiversity support thread for women with diagnosed, self diagnosed or suspected ADHD and ASC

[BertieBotts]

Continuing the good work of the lovely EauRouge :) Our first thread in the shiny new section. Seems like they created it just in time for us to fill up the old one

Link to the previous thread

This is a support thread for any posters who feel that they might be (or know that they are) on the Autistic spectrum or have ADHD. Feel free to jump in! Some of us are diagnosed, some not, some trying to work out what it's all about. Women with these kinds of issues often present differently to men and as such, can go undiagnosed for a long time. Hopefully, we can help each other understand ourselves and be there for support along the way too.

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall

AS traits in women and girls by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie - Cynthia Kim's blog (Noted as being one of the only sources of information about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Women with ADHD by ADDitude magazine - this is a really good website in general (though it really needs a redesign). Lots of good, well researched info on ADHD and especially ADHD in women and girls. Do follow the links to other articles. They also have a closed facebook group which is good for info (FB is down so can't put the link up.)

Books
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly. (This is available as a PDF somewhere online but I can't find it now - sorry!)

Speakers

This is a new one but it's something I've found really helpful so I hope nobody minds me adding it. I won't link directly to videos because they show up in the thread, but worth searching youtube/Ted/google:

Russell Barkley: Clinical Psychologist who specialises in the subject area of ADHD. He explains it better than anybody else I have come across and has practical solutions to support life with it. He is VERY long-winded, but his talks are packed with info. Highly recommend.

Ned Hallowell: Another psychologist who actually lives with ADHD himself and has interesting insights. Author of the book "The ADHD effect on marriage". He is a little bit cheesy but worth a watch.

Sorry I only have ADHD links to put here but if anybody knows a good ASC speaker, feel free to add!

Online quizzes

Of course no online quiz is sufficient for diagnosis, but can be a useful signposting tool and a starting point for discussion with your GP.

RDOS Aspergers test

AQ test

Adult ADHD screening test

Symptom checklist of ADHD in women

I feel a bit left out now with all you southerners!

Oi! Less of the "southerners", please! I'm a reluctantly transplanted Yorkshirewoman and have the flat cap to prove it

Hi all. I've got 2 and half weeks till my assessment but I'm really panicking now because it seems from what the Lorna Wing have said that it is a diagnostic assessment and it will take. 2-3 hours and I should get an answer that day. This is all very different to al of your experiences.Judith Gould is doing it who is the authority in autism in women.
I've always thought is had Aspergers but then when I was talking to my mum about my developmental history she told me that I didn't really talk until I was 3,so a possibly language delay. This may have been due to hearing problems but now I wonder whether I could be autistic rather than Aspergers??

Oh and I'm I the South East too. I'm an Essex girl in fact!!

I'm in Kent. I was also given an AS (moderate degree) diagnosis, written on a piece of paper which i waved at an interview panel 4 days later (they called later this evening and I've got the job btw!).
It bothered me getting AS and not 'autism - degree 1', but anyway.

I'm not a Southerner either!

I'm nottinghamian thank you very much

I got DSM 5 Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1/ICD10 Childhood Autism.

How did your regression manifest itself fuzz? Or is it too difficult to put into words?
I do kind of see what you mean.

Ooops! Name change fail below as Orange Juice Lemonade.

Oops! I hate it when I have a namechange fail.

I think I may have got given the Childhood Autism version rather than Asperger's even though I was an early talker because I was definitely not "normal" before three years old - never liked being comforted when I was upset, right from being a baby, started to read words at 18 months and books by age three, and my mum didn't remember me doing any imaginative play. Weird kid syndrome. But then they said that under the old DSM IV system they used, i would have got Asperger's. The diagnostic system is so confused. There was another set of codes on the report, too, for the GP to put in their system, that codes all diseases for GP computers.

Or maybe they just translate all Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnoses to ICD10 Childhood Autism automatically? Seems a bit odd, though. I know there was someine else on these threads who had a diagnosis from the same clinic as me and would be interested to know if their topsheet said the same thing.

Mountains I think we did see the same people! Was your assessment in a converted garage?

I'm looking forward to getting my full report and reading through everything properly.

I'm a little worried about a slump. Today I'm in a bit of a high from finally getting a diagnosis. Tomorrow I fear it will have faded

Gumblebee Yes I wonder why they added that childhood one onto your diagnosis - as for me, I thought that as you say, AS as a category was just not supposed to be used at all anymore, so to me it makes my diagnosis look a bit unprofessional. It's out of date, basically. I guess I'll see what the report says.

Sparkle now that you mention it, I did have to step out of the house via the kitchen and walk a few steps outside into that assessment room, so yes it might have been a converted garage! I think that it does look v much like we were at the same place. My DS, now 12, was diagnosed at age 4 at the children's centre at the hospital.

mountains, yours isn't out of date as such. ICD10 is the World Health Organisation's list of medical diagnoses and criteria, and is the one British doctors tend to use, and still contains Asperger's. Some British doctors do use the DSM (thw American mental disorders list) which has now gone to version 5, which is the one that's changed to Autism Spectrum Disorder. My team gave me both, I don't know why.

Gosh I hadn't realised, it makes more sense now! I see... I need to brush up on my diagnoses, clearly. Thanks for the explanations!

Can I ask how people asked their doctor about a referral for an assessment or however it's done around me? Does it matter that I'm not sure what I have? I think quite probably ADHD without hyperactivity, maybe with ASD but certainly the ADHD (I have anxiety and struggle to tell what's that and what's potential ASD). I have dyscalculia which ties in with possible ADHD. I just don't really know how to get the words out!

Also would I have to have parental input in an assessment? It would stress me out so much.

Hi Hopeful,

I asked someone from the mental health team to refer me, which they did based on me thinking I may be autistic and saying I would like to explore it further.

I had absolutely no parental input in my diagnosis, but it would have been easier to answer some of the assessment questions about my early childhood had my mum filled it a questionnaire, but not essential. I based my answers on things she's said and photos of me at the time

My nhs referral came through today with an appointment for next week to see if an assessment is appropriate. Just as I was about to pay an awful lot for a private assessment too. The woman who phoned me sounded nice and she sent a family history form which, to be honest, I don't know how my mum will be able to answer, it's all a long time ago. The place I have to go is only 10 minutes away, quite strange to have it all happening suddenly. Or not if they don't put me forward for assessment.

Hopeful, if you're looking for ADHD assessment there are good guidelines on a website, which I forget but I posted it on the other ADHD thread so I'll go and grab it and be back :)

Thanks, I will try and bring it up at the doctor's. What kind of things do they ask about regarding early childhood? I am fairly sure from what my parents have said regarding unrelated medical stuff that I developed normally re walking and talking etc but started reading early (but not astonishingly early - I went to nursery at about 4 or so with no previous professional childcare as I was cared for by relatives and it was about then) and was a very fluent reader by year 1 or so. I got very slightly above average SAT scores aside from in maths where I was average - but nothing that marked me out as exceptional I don't think. I was moved up a grade for English in Year 5...I'm young enough to have had numeracy and literacy hours so it was just for the literacy hours. Top sets for everything by GCSE level. So although I got higher than average grades at some stuff it wasn't anything particularly exceptional, there were always others at the same level I was even if it was just a small group of us.

My dr asked about behaviour, particularly tantrums, speech and language, relationships with peers/adults, it was just my recollections.

Yesterday I saw someone that looked really familiar, so I went and said 'hi' and asked if I knew him from somewhere. He replied 'what did I teach you?' so then I remembered he was my psychology teacher R from college- around 15 years ago! We chatted a bit and he seemed disappointed that having got an A in my A level (despite having a crap student teacher N the next year, R said I must have been a genius to gave got an A after being taught by N!), and a 2:1 degree from a decent uni, I'm doing a fairly low paid, PT job.

I felt like disclosing my diagnosis to him for two reasons- 1 to see if he had any inkling back then (I vaguely remember him coming to my aid during a meltdown) and 2 to say 'actually, I might not have done 'much' in my life, but actually still being here is an achievement for me!'

If i do bump into him again (possible as I bumped into him somewhere I go quite frequently), should I mention it or leave well alone?

I would mention it if I felt like it, Crohn, why 'leave well alone'? In your situation I definitely would.

I remember being "told off" by my only friend after our gcse results came out and I was chuffed she got an A in one subject. She thought I was being disingenuous because she assumed (cos I'm dead xlever ) that i'd got at least 3 or 4 As.
Nope, I just don't exam well so I'll never be able to provr it.

Not that that matters because it seems that many people think I'm a fucking liability anyway and just give me jobs in the hope that I'll feel useful and shut up and go away.