Neurodiversity support thread for women with diagnosed, self diagnosed or suspected ADHD and ASC

[BertieBotts]

Continuing the good work of the lovely EauRouge :) Our first thread in the shiny new section. Seems like they created it just in time for us to fill up the old one

Link to the previous thread

This is a support thread for any posters who feel that they might be (or know that they are) on the Autistic spectrum or have ADHD. Feel free to jump in! Some of us are diagnosed, some not, some trying to work out what it's all about. Women with these kinds of issues often present differently to men and as such, can go undiagnosed for a long time. Hopefully, we can help each other understand ourselves and be there for support along the way too.

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall

AS traits in women and girls by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie - Cynthia Kim's blog (Noted as being one of the only sources of information about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Women with ADHD by ADDitude magazine - this is a really good website in general (though it really needs a redesign). Lots of good, well researched info on ADHD and especially ADHD in women and girls. Do follow the links to other articles. They also have a closed facebook group which is good for info (FB is down so can't put the link up.)

Books
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly. (This is available as a PDF somewhere online but I can't find it now - sorry!)

Speakers

This is a new one but it's something I've found really helpful so I hope nobody minds me adding it. I won't link directly to videos because they show up in the thread, but worth searching youtube/Ted/google:

Russell Barkley: Clinical Psychologist who specialises in the subject area of ADHD. He explains it better than anybody else I have come across and has practical solutions to support life with it. He is VERY long-winded, but his talks are packed with info. Highly recommend.

Ned Hallowell: Another psychologist who actually lives with ADHD himself and has interesting insights. Author of the book "The ADHD effect on marriage". He is a little bit cheesy but worth a watch.

Sorry I only have ADHD links to put here but if anybody knows a good ASC speaker, feel free to add!

Online quizzes

Of course no online quiz is sufficient for diagnosis, but can be a useful signposting tool and a starting point for discussion with your GP.

RDOS Aspergers test

AQ test

Adult ADHD screening test

Symptom checklist of ADHD in women

Child is DD - she has a little snack box that's supposed to keep her quiet.
It doesn't work anymore.

Eggshells were entirely confined to choir stalls, an I promise she doesn't get it on the floor (well, if she ever does I have to clean it up)

Going to church with children is stressful in itself. Once my son broke free from me and
Ran up on to the alter swigging his bottle. Now that was embarrassing.

Sorry if I didn't read your post correctly. I just saw eggshells and thought how surreal.

Hello, i didn't realise that this thread existed otherwise I'd have posted here sooner.

I have my autism assessment tomorrow. Could anyone who has had one let me know what to expect. All I know is that it is for an hour and a half with a dr.

I've been waiting three years to get to this appointment, and now it's here I'm dreading it. I think the worst part for me is if I do t get a diagnosis then I have no idea where to go from there.

Any advice welcomed

Good luck! All I can say it that from reading this thread, I've learnt that experiences vary widely, so it's hard to know what to expect (great fun for people who may have ASDs!) although I hope it isn't too stressful for you.

Ooh, the telly? Fancy!

I googled the name of the person doing the assessment and found a picture, and streetviewed the location, which helped.

The location is in the town where I work. I've never noticed the building before, but there's lots of big houses on that stretch of road that are colleges / private buildings. The name wouldn't have meant anything to me before anyway!

I have looked at a picture of the dr on their website, he looks friendly so that's a positive. I think this is a private company that the NHS has passed me in to as the waiting lists are so long in this area.

I am no stranger to therapy, so at least that will be familiar to me. Did they ask you lots of questions, or just expect you to talk? I hate it when I'm asked to just talk about how things are going as I never have a clue what to say, specific questions are easier.

If I wanted a second opinion I'm assuming I would end up at the bottom of the list again? I can't take another three years of waiting.

I'll just repost what I posted last August about my assessment.

My assessment was with someone described as an autism specialist practitioner. I was emailed rather than posted some forms for me to fill in (and one for my mum) as I was called in on very short notice on a cancellation, then spent the first half of the three-hour assessment describing my extensive psychiatric history I went with DP and wasn't expecting him to be involved at all but the guy I saw asked if it was okay to have DP in towards the end for a while, which I went along with. I filled in a couple more forms (which I then offered to score, as I had with the ones I'd done at home after furtling around inline fie the scoring key ), as did DP, and we both answered some questions about me and my failings differences.

Then I waited for five weeks until the report came through the post, convincing myself that the report would say I didn't meet the criteria - it would've normally only taken a couple of weeks, apparently, but there were delays. The report had to be sent to the psychiatrist in charge of adult autism assessment for my county to be checked over and signed by him.

It was fine actually - the guy I saw was really used to talking to people with ASD and was very clear in his questions, asked questions to draw out relevant answers, but let me keep talking when I had something I wanted to say.

Thanks gumblebee

I was posted forms about 8 months ago which I filled in. I also had a telephone consultation last week with another 20mins worth of questions. A lot of them were development related,so I could only go on what my mum has told me. But that's what she would have put too, even if it isn't true she wouldn't own up to having a 'less than perfect' child in her 'perfect' family. oh how that went out of the window when I was a teenager

The place I'm going seems to specialist in autism and adhd, so I'm sure they will be able to ask questions to draw the right information from em, it's just so nerve-wracking!

Having a nightmare this morning. Looked at my bank and one of my direct debits has took £601 instead of £61 they have totally wiped me out put me into a £343 overdraft my food shopping orders been cancelled. I can't stop shaking. I honestly am struggling to handle this and they don't open for another 10 minutes I need it to be 8 o'clock already.

Iamnot I hope you've had them on the phone and it's sorted?
MummySparkle your assessment is going so exactly like mine that I'm wondering if we are in the same town!
The assessment in my case seemed to be an exercise in going over the 20 minutes questions asked over the phone to clarify them. (If that makes sense). The man knew v well how AS presents in females (I had doubted he
did after I saw his CV online!). In fact done things he said were v insightful and have stayed with me.
The library I had applied to has been in touch with my current employer for a reference last week, but I've still heard nothing, so I wonder what that's about...
Back later.

Then again Sparkle since your appointment is today I'm probably too late to help you. He did ask me why I wanted a diagnosis, and for me it was purely so I can disclose it at work and not be bullied/ taken for an idiot - or to explain away any oddity at interview for instance.

Sort of they refused to give me the full amount till they can confirm that it went though even offered to send then my statement to prove it the sent £300 Dh has manged to raise £50 to put our account back into the positive and my dm has paid for my shopping. I have calmed down and phoned dm and apologised for my meltdown and also apologised to Dh for my meltdown.

Sorry mummy sparkle didn't mean to miss. I am undiagnosed as of yet but when I have a chance I am going to fill out the self referral former and get it underway. Ours is different to our NHS doesn't deal with adult diagnosis yet we got though a local autistic charity to get our assessment.

Steve Silberman webchat starts in less than an hour (9pm)!

Just to reassure Sparkle that she doesn't have to comment on me saying we might be in the same town: I didn't mean anything by it, it doesn't matter, I'm happy to stick to this thread and give help about autism issues (and talk about what is bothering me too). Happy to move on

Southeast here

I'm southeast too! It does sound like our experience was similar mountains.

Verynotcrazy, I hope you managed to get your payment sorted out.

Assessment was hard, as in lots of questions that I didn't always know the answers to. Turns out the dr was pretty sure that I was on the spectrum somewhere and the purpose of the assessment was to decide whether I had autism or aspergers. We came to the conclusion that it was probably aspergers as my mum has never mentioned any delay in the first three years. I left with a signed piece of paper that says I have Asperger's syndrome to a moderate degree. Again the severity was quite hard to quantify as it's hard to tell to what degree the aspergers has affected my life vs other MH problems affecting my life. But he agrees with me that probably a lot of women are being misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder (I was diagnosed at 17) when actually they have autism.

Overall I've come away feeling relieved and positive. I feel that once I've let it sink in I can look back on my life and finally make sense of a lot of things now that I know that I do have Asperger's.

I'm hoping Steve Silberman will share his views on BPD vs autism too - I really hope there is a detailed study into it soon. I feel things would have been very different for me had I been given my autism diagnosis sooner

South east here too

I feel the same way - inaccurate personality disorder labels have dogged me for years (various ones, never properly assessed for any of them but once someone's suggested it, it gets repeated in notes until it's "fact") - I now have an ASD level one diagnosis with a statement in my report that personality disorder is unlikely.

I'm in Sussex.

I haven't had my report yet but strangely looking forward to reading it and hopefully making some moves to get some CBT or something with someone who actually knows about ASD. I saw a doctor today because I'm really really struggling with mental health. Upping my ADs as of tomorrow.

Interestingly I thought I had BPD myself when I was a teen, but all my symptoms/issues were put down to the abuse I went through.