Neurodiversity support thread: Women with suspected/self-diagnosed/diagnosed ASC & ADHD

[EauRouge]

No sign of our own forum yet, so for now here's a new support thread for women on the autistic spectrum and/or with ADHD. Newbies more than welcome!

The old thread is here.

Here are some helpful links for newbies:

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall.

List of female traits by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie- Cynthia Kim's blog (one of the few sources I have found about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Recognising ADHD in women from ADDitude Magazine

Resources for women with ADHD from ADDitude Magazine

Adult ADHD support (coming soon by the looks of things)

Books

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly (I haven't read this one but I have heard it recommended many times- apologies if it's no good!)

I took off Tony Attwood because it was about people with autism rather than for people with autism. Anyone else got any book recommendations?

Online tests

(Online tests are not 100% certain but can give you a very good idea and a starting point for talking to your GP if you're seeking diagnosis)

RDOS Aspergers quiz (the best one IMO)

AQ test

ADHD test

ADHD questionnaire for women

If any of those don't work, it's because I'm cooking the DDs' dinner and I'm shit at multitasking. What's that burning smell?

Polter, I'm like that with processing things too, fine over phone or radio, face to face I try so hard to listen to the instructions and end up zoning out.
Conversations are usually ok, but difficult to keep up with if they jump around from subject to subject.

I might as well have never gone to any lectures at uni at all- I just didn't take any of it in. My DM always complained that what she said 'went in one ear and out the other'. It's true. I tell dp and dcs not to expect me to remember what they've said 5 mins later. I need to write everything down.

Does anyone else have a problem with reading dcs bed time stories? I just can't do it! I can't do different voices. I get impatient. I can't concentrate on pronouncing the words at the same time as following the story so it's so hollow iykwim?

I'm crap at reading bedtime stories, but if I read ones that my mother read to me I read in the same way, and if it's Peppa Pig or Charlie and Lola I'll read it in the style it is on tv.

I love reading stories to DD! It's an 'easy' way to interact with her because it tells me what I have to say, I don't need to think about it. And unlike putting her in front of the TV or something, I can feel good about the fact that I'm reading to her.

I do the same as you though LeChien and do the same style. DD's favourite book at the moment is the story of Frozen, and when the characters speak I do it the same as they do in the film. Every time I read I try and say 'the heart is not so easily changed, but the head can be persuaded' in a different way and I just can't!

I do it with songs too, when I'm singing I pick up on the singer's accent and copy it. I do it to some extent if I talk to someone with a strong accent, particular if I talk to them a lot and don't talk to other people in between- the more I'm exposed to it the more I pick it up.

Mimicry is one of my few skills. My son can mimic others very well too. We often re-produce adverts and shows for entertainment.

I write childrens' stories and create characters. Too fearful of failure and criticism to put them out there though.

Yes polter it's only recently that I've realised I use echolalia, probably because most of it is delayed rather than immediate, and usually in context or in a song, not isolated words/phrases. It might have been a musingsofanaspie blog post that brought it to my awareness.

Though there are a few occasions where I have to repeat something that's just been said, usually it's something on TV if they say it in an over the top or unusual way. I want to know what it feels like in my mouth to say it, so I do. Sometimes with a song it's almost like stimming, I will sing it just for the way it feels- that Gwen Stefani song comes to mind 'whatcha waiting whatcha waiting whatcha waiting whatcha waiting whatcha waiting for?' Something about all those w- sounds and the rhythm and repetitiveness of it.

Hello everyone! I'm new to this thread! :) PolterGoose suggested I pop on over to see what's what! I've been reading some of your posts and I feel like I have found my people!

I am not diagnosed yet. I've been referred to the CMHT as I score high on the screening tests for anxiety and depression, OCD, ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder and ASD/Aspergers.

The links at the start of this thread have been wonderfully insightful! I scored 38/50 on the AQ test. And have a Aspie score of 145/200 on the RDOS quiz and a NT score of 68/200!

I guess I have always thought I was a little bit different and didn't really fit in anywhere, but it wasn't until my DS was diagnosed with ASD 5 months ago and I read up on everything and anything to do with it, that I found myself wondering if perhaps I was on the spectrum, too! My DH is, so if I am too, we'd all be on the spectrum together! lol

For anyone who has a diagnosis... what led you to being diagnosed?

For those who aren't diagnosed... is there a reason why?

Sorry if it's personal, I'm just curious!

To cut a long story short, I've suspected I have AS since I was a teenager (over a decade ago!) but it wasn't until
a) things began to fall apart at home, lots of problems and changes and the stress meant my mental health was suffering, and I was having very frequent and explosive meltdowns
b) I read some information about autism in women and realised that most of my 'quirks' are actually typical of ASD women

polter congrats on the first step! I hope it helps you at work.

Polter, I'm so pleased telling your boss went ok :)

MJ, I'm deciding whether to go ahead for assessment, I've already passed the threshold to be able to be referred, but it don't know yet whether to do it or not. Mainly the same as Polter's reasons, and we've already had a bad experience with the nhs seeking a diagnosis for my 10 yr old, so it doesn't give me a lot of confidence!
I've got to nearly 40 believing I was a really crap version of NT, then when we went through the learning process for ds, so many things rang true for me too, and led me to read the links at the start of the thread which gave me a lightbulb moment.

ChrohnicallyAspie Yes! When I was doing all of the reading and research into autism for my son, I read about how autism presents differently in girls and the more I read, the more I thought... that's me!

I still hadn't really thought I could have ASD until I tried one of the tests on this thread, just out of curiosity and when the high score came back I thought, right... let's explore this.

I actually initially went to the doctor because I realised my mental health has been deteriorating. Again, a new area for me. Mental health was not something discussed growing up. I am one of 12 kids, raised in a strict, cult-like religion. I think that has had a negative impact on my ability to cope with my emotions. I am realising that I have been having meltdowns all of my life. Where I get so overwhelmed, I feel as though I'm going to explode. Needing to get out of a situation. I still feel like a child. I think I even hand flap. I didn't know I did that until TODAY.

PolterGoose Thanks for your reply. Did you go the NHS route with your DS?

Good luck with your assessment! That's a big step and should help with your work situation. :) I think I, too, am worried about being told it's not ASD but that I'm just fucked up!!

LeChien what is this threshold you're talking about? My Dr just referred me to CMHT as she doesn't know much about ASD etc! :/ She also said to me "You don't come across as depressed", despite scoring 23/27 on the NHS depression test and presenting that to her with my added notes!!

I was also scared of being told I'm just a fuck up. But things got so bad I figured even if I was I had tried everything the GP had to offer, and a psychiatrist might have been able to do something that actually helped me.

I had a similar experience postnatally, I scored quite high on the Edinburgh scale, the HV helped me put some things in place and reassessed me in a few weeks. Even though my score had come down I was still in the severe range. The HV looked at my questionnaire and said 'you know what, I think it's just your personality!'

But it's good that you've been referred to CMHT, they should be able to work it out!

MJ, I had an appointment with a mental health nurse who carried out an hour long assessment (I had thought it was just a mental health assessment), part of it was a short tick box test (like the Simon Baron-Cohen AQ test) with 10 questions, if you score over 6, you pass to the next level. I scored 10.

It was a bit weird as I knew the "right" answers, but tried very hard to be impartial and really think about the questions.

When you look at the Edinburgh postnatal depression scale, a lot of the questions could indeed apply to autism- questions about anxiety and feeling scared, blaming yourself when things go wrong, coping in general (bearing in mind it's designed for women that have just had a baby!)...

Ooh LeChien I'm impressed, I only scored 9 (it's the AQ-10 you're referring to, and it's a shortened version of the AQ)

I know what you mean about knowing the 'right' answers, I found it hard because so much of the time my answer is 'it depends...'