Hello everyone, I started a separate thread about me and my DD but it's been suggested that I come and talk to you over here. I hope I'm not breaking any rules if I copy what I wrote about myself on my other thread:
I was a bit of a weird kid, always felt a bit outside of things, had a few close friends, usually one at any time. Did well in school, keen to learn, scored very highly in IQ tests. Clumsy, not sporty. Devastated by 'failing' anything. Prone to what I can only describe as emotional storms. Thankfully these have decreased, but still happen occasionally. Not very good at 'keeping my house in order' (literally and figuratively). Find social occasions terrifying, particularly with new people or contexts. My husband gets irritated that he finds I 'butt in' when he's talking, either just with me, or in a group with other people. I know I do this. I talk barely at all if I am socially uncomfortable, but I basically don't stop talking in other situations, eg around my family. I can't help either of these things. I drive, but find it very daunting. I won't drive long distances, and I am prone to panic when transitioning eg from small roads to motorways and vice versa. I panic about where I am going to park. I get awkward with 'touching' in social situations, eg hugging/kissing. I always think I'll do it wrong. Other people find it hard to read my emotions. I am extremely sensitive to emotional tension in a room/situation. I can't rest until I've tried to make everything better. I repeat conversations over and over in my head. I get deeply into particular interests, no matter how odd/diverse. I'll read and read about them, but then drop it and move on to the next thing. I took the AQ test and scored >32. In a number of areas I've got better since having children - it has forced me to be more organised and to talk to people I don't really know. I have a very successful career, but I always chew my fingers/pen ALL DAY at work. I have only just considered that this might be odd.
Should I be speaking to the GP about my 'issues'? I feel like they would probably laugh me out of the room, and I've coped for this long so maybe it wouldn't achieve anything anyway. In fact, I feel like I am getting better all the time in some respects. Or is there some reading I should do? How do people make decisions about this?
A part of me is reluctant to go down a 'diagnosis' route (if if comes to that) for either me or my DD. This is partly because I was brought up with the strong belief that I could achieve anything. Would I have felt the same way if I had a label? Or would I have found that equally empowering? On the other hand, I cried almost all the way home the day that reading a thread here on MN made a lot of things 'click'.