UK MNer - do you use grandparents for regular childcare for your child aged 11 or under? Please complete a survey for MNHQ - you could win £100! NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

We'd like to know what you think about your experience of grandparents providing regular childcare for your children.

This survey is open to all UK Mumsnet users who use their child's grandparents for regular childcare for a child/children aged 0-11.

As a thank you, all respondents (who leave their details at the end) will be entered into a prize draw in which one MNer will win a £100 Amazon voucher.

Here's the link www.surveymonkey.com/s/CFRN3GC

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

It didn't specify what you meant by regular. My mum has my DD for a week every summer holidays, which is regular as in the same every year. She also has her on regular dates throughout the year.

There also wasn't a question to ask when they had the children (eg weekend, after school, holidays), nor a question asking how old the grandparents are. My FIL used to look after one of our DSs on a regular basis; he was 65 and had just retired. My parents used to have all our DCs in the school holiday, and at the time they were only the age I am now. It makes a difference.

Mine is a term time only arrangement but guessing that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of the survey!

done

Done

Done

There isn't a question on emergency / ad hoc / evening help on top of regular childcare either. I think that when there are regular arrangements in place, additional demands can be a source of tension.

I would also be interested in who proposed the arrangements and how easy they were to agree to, sometimes it can take a while for people to understand each other's expectations.

My final comment is that a further regular source of tension for many is grandparents not sticking to usual routine / house rules / giving too many treats. Not unusual at all but can be very frustrating!

Done - I agree a question about emergency/as hoc childcare would have been useful as that can be a big source of tension

Thanks for feedback!

Done, I have an issue with the 'how much do grandparents spend on your children question' there is a massive gap between zero and up to £10 a day!! There should have been an option for 'occasional treats' IMO.

MNHQ will you also be doing a survey from the grand parents' point of view?

I agree with other posters. My parents will pick up one or other of the DCs from school each day (joy of oversubscribed primary!), I pick up the other and collect DC1 from my parents so they have responsibility for the children for 1 hour max per day plus occasional holidays.

"If money were no option would you still use grandparents" assumes that's not already the case. We are perfectly able to pay another nursery day but MIL wants to have him. In fact I am not sure I had a choice (though I'm happy for her to have him)

Done :)

museum I agree, we are well able to afford childcare, but the GPs would never forgive us!

My friend wrote this handbook on childcare today it's aimed at grandparents specifically - she's a grandma and all round amazing person Lis Paice. See her book on www.amazon.co.uk/Lis-Paice/e/B00B5IS2J2

Done

I have filled this in. We use my MIL twice a week for childcare! We do pay her a monthly fee for that too.

Done - though now my oldest is at school it is only an afternoon a week, and Grandma calls the shots as to which day.

Done.

Done

I really hate the word 'use' in this context though, sounds so exploitative and one sided. I know that my parents and my in laws get a lot of pleasure from looking after our children - of course it's hugely beneficial for us for lots of reasons too, but it is mutually beneficial, in our case anyway. I'd hate for it to be otherwise. I'd rather 'provide childcare' or 'look after' or something rather than use.

all done thanks

Always lived too far away - 6 hours drive

all done thanks x

Fortunately my mother in law looked after my oldest child, shes now almost 5. I only work 2.5 days and she had her for that time. Now we have another baby she isn't having him which I've got to admit I did find upsetting at the time. I'm still struggling to come to terms with the fact someone other than family will look after him and have felt very down about it all. Hopefully I will find a good childcare provider though. :-) I'm grateful of all her previous help and know she will help us generally e.g. evening babysitting so me and hubby can enjoy a meal out etc... I do realise though they are getting older, they want to go on holidays and enjoy retirement now and they do deserve to. My parents both work so its not even an option asking them.

Done. Fingers crossed.