Live webchat with Steve Biddulph about Raising Girls, Wednesday 16 January, 9pm to 10pm

[RachelMumsnet]

Parenting expert Steve Biddulph is joining us for another webchat on Weds 16 January at 9pm - 10pm. Steve last joined Mumsnet back in 2000 when he talked about his book Love, Laughter and Parenting as well as his worldwide bestseller, Raising Boys.

We're delighted that Steve is returning to talk to us about his latest book, Raising Girls. This was written as a response to the 'sudden and universal deterioration in girls' mental health, starting in primary school and devastating the teen years'. The book is both a call-to-arms for parents and a detailed guide through the five key stages of girlhood to help build strength and connectedness into your daughter from infancy onwards. Join the discussion and you will be entered into a draw to win one of five copies of Steve Biddulph's Raising Girls.

If you're interested in Steve's latest book, Mumsnet Academy are running a one day seminar with Steve on 26 January in London. Here's more information.

Put the date in your diary to join the discussion on Weds 16 at 9pm-10pm and if you're unable to join us then, post a question in advance to this thread.

Paddling
With all respect to Steve (and I admit that I don't agree with his opinions) I don't think that it is appropriate to base a lifestyle change on something that someone on the internet has said to you. Even if he is a best selling author of parenting books.

So is SWWMNBN but I wouldn't take advice from her.

As Steve said at the beginning of this webchat, there are many different opinions. His is that your daughter would be better off with a dad who is home more often. I don't disagree with that, but at the same time, now is not the time to be scaling back when one is self employed.

My DH worked very long hours when my DD was younger, and currently lives abroad and we only see him every few weeks for a weekend. She is a wonderful, talented and very balanced young girl of 10yo, with great self confidence and poise. It has certainly not harmed her.

Good night, thanks for coming on here.

Thank you Steve, I think this was a very interesting webchat and you handled it well, including staying longer.
If you think this was a bunfight, you should have seen the Oliver James webchat. He started yelling at us in capitals, and someone called him a "very silly man".

LDR and others... You are right there seems to be very little research evidence of a testosterone surge in boys around age 4.

I?ve done several searches like this one on google scholar and found almost nothing. But there are a couple of possible sources? I haven't evaluated any of it (or even actually read it!) but here are some references:

www.global-logic.net/articles/raising-boys.pdf
www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S019188699900149X

Also:
jcem.endojournals.org/content/95/1/82.long ? Interesting paper that seems to suggest that girls aged 8-puberty actually have higher levels of testosterone than pre-pubertal boys.

And an interesting-looking critique here

Thanks Steve for staying well beyond the call of duty. We'll match the Qs with the As that were a bit confused in the morning. Thanks to you all for joining in the discussion.

Fascinating.

Thanks for all the insights.

Thanks for the interesting discussion, Steve. Certainly food for thought.

Flow
Thanks, will have a look at those. I found this interesting on the differences in aggression between girls and boys - raises interesting questions of our acceptance of boy's aggression and our demanding that girls be peacemakers

psych.cf.ac.uk/home2/hay/psychmed2007.pdf

MmeLindor

Thanks for the concern, but otherhalf does need to hear something like this, and not just from me.

I can honestly say it won't be much of a lifestyle change in current circumstances and I am pleased to hear your dd is so balanced, I do worry about him not being around as much as other dads.

Our dd is only 8 but turning into a confident young girl too, one that is not at all hung up about fashion, looks, or what the latest trends are and has very firm opinions on everything at the moment!

flow, you're a star, thank you!

Thanks to all for another interesting evening, and to Steve, especially for your parting good wishes to us and our daughters.
Noticed someone suggesting it might be time for something from the mini-bar !
Good night

You're welcome. :)

How rude! Clearly a patronising comment.

Well, I don't think that was the friendliest way to leave things MOTY

Good morning to all catching up with this interesting discussion today

I need to know if Im related to this guy!

Can't believe it's all gone so quiet on here - the calm after the storm...?

Mme Lindor, can I say i've agreed with everrything you've written here.

Really interesting the pressure that being socially interested/ motivated out on us women, including not being great at asserting ourselves ....

That was meant to read " puts on us women "

it was v interesting,I found him both avoidant and selective
it's great mnhq host these web chats
it's a strength of mn that the web chats are so robust and not simply a buy the book pitch

yes

Definitely selective. I'm not sure whether he was avoidant, or whether there was some kind of time-lag, or whether he just read, typed and thought more slowly than us lot!

I think he was using his reflective skills to the hilt

The first piece is disgusting. Totally focussing on girls, their behaviour and reaction to boys behaviour.

He recognises "[Porn] tells girls that they are mere service stations for men and boys." Yet instead of focusing on boys mistreatment of girls because of this he focuses on how girls are reacting to it. And keeps the focus on policing girls behaviour rather than boys:

"Don?t let her go out simply to cruise the clubs or pubs. Have a definite deal about how she?s getting home and when; and be prepared to go and collect her anywhere and at anytime."

Your daughter doesn?t need you to be a friend. She desperately needs parents who set curfews, stop her drinking under-age, and know at all times whom she is with and where.

What about stopping boys from treating girls like sex objects? What about stopping porn and children being able to access it?

"But don?t make the mistake of dividing the female sex into ?good girls? and ?bad girls?. The problem with this approach is that if your daughter feels desire, she may unconsciously label it as ?bad?." How about you don't compare teenage girls to prostitutes Steve, as if that were a "bad" thing.

But I suppose me getting angry about this is just down to my hormones. Nothing to do with the misogynistic bullshit being spouted in these articles at all.

it gets worse he's doing a mnhq academy paid for class
IMO his ethos and ideologies don't sit comfortably with mn
im genuinely surprised mnhq are endorsing his ideologies via paid for class.wonder if mnhq profit share with sb