Live webchat with Steve Biddulph about Raising Girls, Wednesday 16 January, 9pm to 10pm

[RachelMumsnet]

Parenting expert Steve Biddulph is joining us for another webchat on Weds 16 January at 9pm - 10pm. Steve last joined Mumsnet back in 2000 when he talked about his book Love, Laughter and Parenting as well as his worldwide bestseller, Raising Boys.

We're delighted that Steve is returning to talk to us about his latest book, Raising Girls. This was written as a response to the 'sudden and universal deterioration in girls' mental health, starting in primary school and devastating the teen years'. The book is both a call-to-arms for parents and a detailed guide through the five key stages of girlhood to help build strength and connectedness into your daughter from infancy onwards. Join the discussion and you will be entered into a draw to win one of five copies of Steve Biddulph's Raising Girls.

If you're interested in Steve's latest book, Mumsnet Academy are running a one day seminar with Steve on 26 January in London. Here's more information.

Put the date in your diary to join the discussion on Weds 16 at 9pm-10pm and if you're unable to join us then, post a question in advance to this thread.

@Smudging

So culture determines our fate more than our sex in your opinion?

Yes, this is a very sexist culture. Thats why I want to see more activism happening. We can strengthen our own girls but not every girl has parents who understand or can cope with this. We also need legislative change around alcohol marketing, targetting of children with junk food. There is a lot about this in the book.

I'm glad you're picking up on the gendering of the toy industry. As you will remember from Cordelia Fine, the evidence suggests it does matter (stereotype threat etc).

Thanks Steve :)

As an aside, but a relevant one I think... I had forgotten you are Australian. My impression of Australian 'mainstream' culture is that it is considerably more sexist than the British one. I may be wrong, but it feels to me that you are where we were 15-20 years ago, in terms of gender awareness and politics. I wonder how that is colouring our discussion here...? :)

Also, I wonder what you made of the awesome attack on misogyny made by your PM, Julia Guillard?!

@AbigailAdams

Hormones don't determine our personality. That is a ridiculous thing to say. Hormones help our body to perform its functions.

But we have very different hormones. And they work differently on different receptors. You can have difference without inequality, and without it being deterministic. Even within boys there are huge differences, alpha males and gentle sensitive males. Their hormones are different. But we can amplify this by having more violence and fear - so testosterone rises. You have to see it as a dance.

Very honest of you, hard to hear though! [goes off to have a chat with otherhalf]

Thanks

@flow4

Thanks Steve :)

As an aside, but a relevant one I think... I had forgotten you are Australian. My impression of Australian 'mainstream' culture is that it is considerably more sexist than the British one. I may be wrong, but it feels to me that you are where we were 15-20 years ago, in terms of gender awareness and politics. I wonder how that is colouring our discussion here...? :)

I am actually English, I just live there. Well, at least WE have a woman Prime Minister. GRIN. And she is feisty as hell.

Also, I wonder what you made of the awesome attack on misogyny made by your PM, Julia Guillard?!

hormones are implicated in mood, and behaviour.and pnd treatment can include prescribing hormones. hormones have hugely significant impact on behaviour Inc pmt

@Lessthanaballpark

" In the book we note the toy industry has gone totally gendered,even lego. "

Steve, if the toy industry's gender stereotyping annoys you, then you are in good company! Our very own homegrown-here-at-Mumsnet campaign LetToysBeToys would really welcome your input.

Please come visit us!

Love to. Remember my role is not to be cutting edge, its to get good information to parents who don't read a lot or have much chance to reflect.
Nine specialists in these fields helped shape Raising Girls. I am just the storyteller who makes it accessible. I hope you will be proud of the job I have done.

Steve, how would you propose helping girls to overcome the hideous genderisation of the toy industry? They constantly receive the message that things like science, construction and all the fun action stuff is for boys whilst makeup and beauty is marketed to them at such an early age.

Can enlightened parents really counterbalance all the nonsense that is sold to them?

Thanks for staying longer by the way. Very nice of you..

paddling unless you're prepared to drop standard of living,or yourself work more I'd not be instructing dh to decrease hours in a recession

@Paddlinglikehell

Very honest of you, hard to hear though! [goes off to have a chat with otherhalf]

Thanks

Good on you Paddling. Maybe soon you can change your name to Cruisingalong ! But seriously, its brave to have these talks about "where are we going". Shaaron and I have rebuilt our lives several times when it just wasn't right for us. I admire people who make these changes.

@Lessthanaballpark

Steve, how would you propose helping girls to overcome the hideous genderisation of the toy industry? They constantly receive the message that things like science, construction and all the fun action stuff is for boys whilst makeup and beauty is marketed to them at such an early age.

Can enlightened parents really counterbalance all the nonsense that is sold to them?

Thanks for staying longer by the way. Very nice of you..

yes, just don't buy it. but its a deep problem Lego researched what girls were interested in, and the number one topic was BEAUTY. This is four year olds. We have to stop buying those magazines, leaving the TV on which teaches them that looks are your most important trait. Some mothers I know are even getting rid of mirrors. And definitely scales in the bathroom. I think this is going to rise up as a movement, otherwise girls literally die from the anxiety.

Surely the type of people who read your book are those likely to read a lot.

@scottishmummy

paddling unless you're prepared to drop standard of living,or yourself work more I'd not be instructing dh to decrease hours in a recession

Its not a recession Scottish, its a dying economy based on unsustainable greed. We all need to live more simply with less.

scottishmummy. Considering I went into work yesterday and told the company was closing at 5pm that day, you are probably right.

steve. Otherhalf is looking decidedly sheepish!

steve, I'm trying to put this as politely as I can ... do you know that quite a lot of people are on the breadline? And there are actually children living in real poverty in this country?

How does that work with living 'more simply with less'?

I had just been warming to you for beginning to answer some questions but I am deeply disappointed with that response.

Steve, yes it is definitely a matter of "chicken and egg" isn't it? Are girls interested in beauty because that is all that is on offer to them?

Of course there is nothing wrong with taking an interest in fashion and creativity, but it's all about balance and that balance seems to have gone way out of the window IMO.

@orangepudding

Surely the type of people who read your book are those likely to read a lot.

Thirty years ago I wrote the first ever parenting book with cartoons in it.
Secrets of Happy Children was read by people who had rarely read a book in their lives. Raising Boys is sometimes the only book a man has ever read.
I keep trying, but of course its you educated types who pay the rent! But I think when a movement takes off, everyone starts to hear about it. We gave away 4000 books in Brazil once.

to use your termed biddulph im a slammer, I think live simply is woolly vague
i dont want to life simply, I want to live fulfilled
I'm not avaricious I'm not defined by consumer goods but I derive approbation from work. and i have studied for long time

Okay, I just noticed I was starting to get egotistical there, a sign my brain is fading and my better self has fallen asleep! Its been wonderful to spend this time with you. Thanks for understanding that complex questions don't have neat answers. All our kids make it through grace, whatever our efforts are, we do our best and then just hope. May yours become wise, warm and strong, and you feel very proud of them, just as they are.

Goodnight, thank you for coming

Night night, and to your better self.

Thank you for staying.

Hope you have a quiet night in your hotel.

Probably time to hit the minibar!

Goodnight

Thanks for your time, and goodnight. :)