Crap Tips

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

'Things to do with...plastic cd cases. Save lots and paint them with letters for a giant scrabble board'

This handy tip was in last weeks Pick me Up magazine. Why!? and What!?

Share some please, real or made up. I need cheering up.

I bought some exfoliating body mitts from boots for cleaning around taps etc TRAGIC!

i just googled 'crap tips' and got a web page on tips on how to play craps (as in a card game i think)

Oh god I love reading my MIL's take a break for these very tips. Look, you can make this useless crap by painting anpother random pile of crap!

I love the pictures as well, some frizzy haired norman pointing at her bird feeder made out of used J-cloths, or something.

Oh dear i can't think of any examples that I have seen.

You are kidding?!

That's hilarious. Wonder what you are meant to use to make your giant scrabble board - your lawn?

Another recent favourite was 'things to do with a broken umbrella.... save the handle for poking into hard to reach places...cover the frame in tissue paper and hang by a window fora baby to look at.' teeheeeeeeee

@Primark - I think the main question here is, why on earth were you reading 'pick me up' or whatever it's called?

Lol at the umbrella.

Oh why can't I think of any of the ones I have read. Some of them were screamers!

There's a fabulous picture actually, the tip is 'When I've finished my copy of pick me up I use pages of the magazine as a mat under my cats bowl, it looks colourful and keeps the floor clean.' Then there's a picture of a cats bowl, and the magazine. As if we couldn't imagine how that would look. Would have been funnier if the cat was munching away alongside a headline like 'cured by a crane'

PerArdua - it is very necessary to sometimes slum it and read Bella, pick me up and Take a Break. They are very funny.

I buy it every week, it's hilarious.

'Brad Pitt helped me jail my Evil Dad' who could resist reading such things?

i now want to go to the shop and shamefacedly buy a copy just to look at the pictures

I saw one once that said "to preserve the freshness of bread, keep it in a sealed bag/container"

I was no shit sherlock!

And the one where the boy puts the t-bag in his football boots made me

What makes people do this stuff???

DWP - do you buy Pick Me Up and and hide it ina copy of Grazia?

I used to like the Viz ones, like: Tired of having to wait for a Doctor's appointment? Just make one for every day of the year. Any day you wake up feeling well, phone up and cancel it.

Oh one hilarious one

'put an elastic band around your gravy granules tub, each time you use it move the band down so you can easily tell when you are about to run out'

I buy Pick me up, Peppa Pigs Playland, Vogue and The Guardian all in one go. No shame.

PSML at the gravy granules.

Was there a picture of said gravy granule tub with handy finger pointing towards the elastic band?

"Cut your baby wipes in half, and you will find the tub goes twice as far"

Ha! A fellow reader, M2OJelly that photo is so funny.

There was, you get an extra tenner for photos dontchaknow.

How about a mumsnet challenge, first to get a shit tip published wins a prize.

baby wipes? Can you imagine changing an epic poo filled nappy and stopping to cut a baby wipe in half?

And the one that says to use and ice cream scoop to put cake mixture in cupcke cases so each 'ball' will be the same, i would love to know what recipe she uses to make her cake mixure come out in balls

I know the mixture i make doesnt come out so it is mouldable into 'balls'

'I hated having change for parking meters on show in my car in case it attracted thieves so now I keep coins under the floormat and no one knows they are there' Illustrated with a picture of about £1.50 in small change on the floor of a car.

DWP this is a genius thread.

I am very tempted to go home via the doctors surgery in order to steal borrow some of their Take a Breaks