What Amazon REALLY thinks of you

[Flamingbanana214]

I've just read a hilarious Threads about this.

Go to your amazon account > shopping preferences > scroll down > about you.

Mine is fairly tame "has a cat" "travels regularly" "regularly purchases skincare" etc but some of the screenshots on threads were fantastic -

"Has flat buttocks:
"Likes to buy hats for their dog"
"Had a relationship with La Toya Jackson"
"Has no friends"

What does your amazon think of you??

“Consistently replenishes cat care essentials” -me, and surely everybody else who has a cat.

Mine were so boring, and bob on the money apart from me ‘recently renovating my home’.

Er. No.

Mine is empty despite being a customer since 2000.

However. Just now I added a fun size party mix into my basket (for trick or treaters) and as I did so, a speech bubble popped up saying "suspenseful music playing". I have not seen that in all the decades I've been using Amazon.

Japanese language learning, likely lives in London, consistently building manga collection, anime merch and accessories, pokemon products, comfortable footwear of brand X, bamboo mens socks 😀

so basically correct but a mish mash of me, kids and husband as i use my account for everything and presents

The one that made me laugh was "probably owns a pressure cooker" ( I actually do but this sounds like they are judging me for it)

It also states with confidence that one of my hobbies is flower arranging ( it's not) and that I bake cakes professionally ( I don't)

Mine was super boring. It seemed fixated on me being really in to notebooks because I once bought a large multipack for a community group I'm part of.

Also said "Likely to live in X (name of city). Hardly difficult to work out - given they have my address you'd think they'd be more certain about that.

Mine makes me sound smart and says I study history academically and am consistently expanding my history knowledge. I do not and am historically challenged. Ican thank my DS for making me look good to Amazon, haha!

The parts about me all involve kitchen stuff. Ugh.

Likely owns a convertible vehicle, probably owns a lawnmower, prefers Branantia for waste management products, feeds garden birds - just some of it 🤣

It has decided that I have a pet hedgehog!! 🤣

Mine sounds a lot cooler than I am!

Apparently I skateboard recreationally and consistently replenish disposable party supplies.

(or maybe I once bought some skateboarding stuff as a present for someone and buy paper cups and napkins for our community group events)

Well thats equally hilarious and terrifying!!!

My first one was feeds waterfowl regularly- true, I buy duck food.

Loads of ideas here for "tell us something interesting about yourself" at the next team building day i am forced to go on 🤣

OMG! Hilarious.

I regularly abandon art projects and frequently buy eyebrow pencils (among other amusing things). This is the most outing thing I’ve ever posted 😆

This is GENIUS!! Those painful icebreakers - revolutionised!

Mine says

Maintains steady book acquisition

which is fair

Under interests and hobbies I apparently collect luxury artisanal soaps and experiment with electronics projects.
Under products and preferences I am gradually expanding my soap collection. Since when is buying soap a hobby? I buy it, use it and then buy some more.
Contrary to what Amazon believes I do not have a dog and have never bought anything dog related.

Favours Calvin Klein underwear
Engages in Camping
Shows preference for Casio calculators

Edit to add that these are very much not the case!

This has been the funniest thread I’ve read in ages. I’m going to take a proper look at mine tomorrow.

Am also going to click report on this thread - just to recommend it to Classics. Don’t think I’ve done that before, but this one deserves to be saved for future laughs.