What Amazon REALLY thinks of you

[Flamingbanana214]

I've just read a hilarious Threads about this.

Go to your amazon account > shopping preferences > scroll down > about you.

Mine is fairly tame "has a cat" "travels regularly" "regularly purchases skincare" etc but some of the screenshots on threads were fantastic -

"Has flat buttocks:
"Likes to buy hats for their dog"
"Had a relationship with La Toya Jackson"
"Has no friends"

What does your amazon think of you??

Well that explains the username I guess

‘Chooses twinings for tea’
I have made it in life 😆

Or try a different AI. Google AI ‘knows’ you.

They got it right mostly… they know that my DH cycles ( he definitely does) and that we have a pet (yes again) and that I like beauty products that “target specific problems “ not sure but I think this means wrinkles ( true) but they think we have young children ( this was wrong as they are in their 20s) but was funny to read what they got right/wrong

I can't see it on the app?

Yes try a different one. Claude wouldn’t do it due to privacy concerns but ChatGPT had no such qualms 😆

A little bit opinionated — but usually willing to explain why.

and

fairly self-aware and willing to laugh at themselves

It could be worse!

Apparently I play basketball regularly and 'prioritise indestructible dog toys'.

I've found it now!

Me:

Engages in creative arts and crafts regularly
Values quality art supplies from established brands
Recently purchased multiple party decoration items
Maintains steady book acquisition

🙄

Coffee consumption
Prefers Nespresso coffee system
Uses Nespresso for coffee
Maintains consistent coffee consumption routine

Fuck off! 🤣

I can report that chatgpt thinks i come across like a bit of an arsehole.

Fair.

I'd rather yours than mine!

I saw this story on Threads this am, and it was so funny!

Apparently, I like reading classic literature (I think it determined this because I purchased my son’s GCSEs books from there). Also, my husband likes to buy clothes from the ladies clothing department 😄.

Recently increased premium cheese purchases

Seasonal spirit collecting pattern

Maintains steady cat care routine

They're not wrong.

Apparently I play darts competitively 🤷‍♀️

“Favours bamboo and natural materials for organisation” - I bought a bamboo wine rack in 2019.

“Maintains home fragrance systems actively” (I have an oil lamp)
“gardens with focus on plant health”

“Favours Rizla for smoking accessories” 🤭 (cheeky! not that often!)

“builds home organisation infrastructure gradually” 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lots relating to my dad (in a care home):
Eg “Likes Skechers for footwear” and “replaces footwear systematically”. (I have never worn Skechers). Thankfully nothing about the incontinence pants!

"Opportunistically purchases discounted books"

Well, it's not wrong.

Bit judgy though 😆

And if you respond to someone who is being a dick, but then their post gets removed by MNHQ you and up looking like you’ve been awful and AI doesn’t know why.

'maintains steady tea consumption'.

Um, yes accurate 😅

The one that stuns me is "Builds iPad accessory ecosystem systematically". I don't even know what that is, let alone have any ambitions to build one systematically.

I'm also a bit miffed about "Knits regularly". Why assume that buying yarn equates to knitting? Have the heathens never heard of crochet?

Thanks OP, this is hilarious.

Like a PP, I've been described as 'engaging in outdoor camping', which is news to me and also raises the question about the people who are camping indoors...

It's got me as the middle aged woman cliche that I am with multiple mentions of gin, outdoor swimming (recent focus on water sports preparation aka I bought some neoprene swimming socks) and cats (prefers premium pet brands and specialised pet nutrition) but thankfully isn't accusing me of being an alcoholic as I am 'gradually building a craft gin collection'.

It has also noted my prolific purchase of 99 p Kindle books 'consistently purchases discounted ebooks' and 'reads extensively across multiple genres'.

Mine’s empty, despite the fact I’ve been using Amazon since something like 2001?!

It says I am very into horror which is true and have diverse music tastes. It is wrong about me having kids and a cat though!

Me too, pretty much, except like a stalker it appears to know what my current outside space is composed of when I’ve never given it a photo!

Values authentic Mediterranean confections.
That would be the baklava I buy my parents for birthdays..

Plays darts recreationally.
Uh...never?

Not the hilarious ones some have but absolutely has me:

• maintains consistent fiction reading habit

-selects professional grade dance equipment (dance Mum!)

• gradually expands coffee equipment collection, probably has a coffee machine (husband!)

-plays video games regularly (child!)