That annoying guest - what is their christmas crime?

[MrsWhites]

So everyone has a guest or someone in the family if you don’t host who will do something seemingly innocent that will piss everyone off? Who is yours and why? I’ll go first -

My sister because she uses all the gravy and doesn’t get off her arse to go and make more! No matter how much gravy we put out she will always use most of it! It’s got to the point now where we put the gravy boars furthest away from her so everyone else gets a go first!

Do we have the same sister ? 🙄

I have a guest that asks if we have any "lady gray teabags" I know to get them now

Sorry if it's already been mentioned but I'd be online looking for individual sized gravy boats.

My mother who refuses to sit still and cannot tolerate any dirty dishes being left for even 5 minutes so will do the washing up and then moan that she’s always the one doing the washing up.

I have some lovely friends who loudly proclaim to everyone that they are vegetarian. Yet somehow, fish seems to count as a vegetable. I use to tie myself up in knots making vegetarian dishes for them, only for them to help themselves to salmon and ask if I was making any fish dishes as I was cooking dinner. I have learnt my lesson now but it still grinds my gears when I watch them tucking into fish after telling everyone at the table (again) that they won't be eating any meat because THEY ARE VEGETARIAN!!! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING VEGETABLE IS A FISH?!!!

And breathe.......

I'm intrigued by penis portions, too. I've never heard of them before - are they connected any way to the famous MN penis beaker?

Penis portions are the larger meals given to men just because they are men.

And if you mention penis portions, usually a klaxon goes off in MN teeny-tiny competitive undereater world and they all descend to tell us that men need more calories than women and we’ve lost sight of what a healthy body looks like 😆

We could have the same FIL. Twats.

We have a relative that seems to have a new in intolerance or allergy every year. She's been gluten intolerant, lactose intolerant, shellfish allergies etc. So we have prepared friendly or alternative versions for her each year only for her to state a little bit will be 'fine.'

Last time I saw her she had a 'confirmed mustard allergy' yet happily dug into ribs DH prepared and made very clear there was mustard in the sauce.

I do this partially I love mashed potatoes loads of butter and mix it all together with the veg and gravy. love it

What??!!!!

They fart themselves to death??

I can't pinpoint why that would infuriate me but it really would!

That would turn my stomach, to be fair…someone slopping their dinner about like baby food!

PIL who has more money than sense but is “cutting back this year” but will still come for dinner and eat all the finest food. And being a bottle of orange juice. 😂

haha! Im not a mn small plate or penis portionerbut honestly she gives everyone so much. Fil and dh will eat and eat so I think she’s use to that.

My mum was the queen of small plate, the women would get one (small) roast potato each and the men two. a couple spoons of veg and a slice of meat. I must have been use to it as a kid caus I only noticed as an adult.

My family member who cannot eat anything without emptying the salt and pepper on it and needs every condiment under the sun.

It’s all been seasoned beautifully, there’s lots of gravy which is already quite salty - why add more and more without even having tasted it?!?

your not eating it 🤷‍♀️😅
I dunno why I do love it but i do. I don't comment on other people's food as I detest people commenting in how I eat my food. really puts me off my food if someone comments on it

I wouldn’t comment on your atrocious table manners, I would just try not to look.

how is it atrocouse manners ? please explain that to me now ?

My MIL likes to sit in the centre of the couch and watch TV via her ipad, without headphones, whilst we're watching something else on TV. I have offered to turn the TV over but no, she wants to watch something completely different, at volume, next to us instead.

She has been known to turn the subtitles off the TV and turn the volume down, even though I need both as I'm deaf. She raised a profoundly deaf child so I do find this behaviour really surprising. We get on other than that! 😄

Vocal Vegans and Penis Portions. Pure MN gold! 🤣

Mixing all your mash, veg and gravy into a disgusting brown sludge? If you can’t see why that’s poor manners I can’t help you.

no I can't sorry..its the way I have eaten for majority of my life everyone eats differently
I have a huge aversion to food due to being forced fed as a child or left sitting there for hours for not eating my dinner or given it the next day. I survived on nothing as a teenager. And struggled to put on weight would eat the same thing every single day. it's only when I met my now husband I actually started trying new foods..there are still certain foods I won't eat and certain smells make me sick. I can only manage small portions too. I am still invited to dinner to relatives etc and no one no one has commented that my way of eating is bad manners.

@SarahAndQuack you have such an engaging way of writing! Love the way you wrote your post. The detail of the effects on DD was hilarious 👌🏾😊