That annoying guest - what is their christmas crime?

[MrsWhites]

So everyone has a guest or someone in the family if you don’t host who will do something seemingly innocent that will piss everyone off? Who is yours and why? I’ll go first -

My sister because she uses all the gravy and doesn’t get off her arse to go and make more! No matter how much gravy we put out she will always use most of it! It’s got to the point now where we put the gravy boars furthest away from her so everyone else gets a go first!

Whaaat? I witnessed that (abomination) in the sink at a portable toilet at a festival once, but a houseguest?!

yes! And she is very fancy, wealthy and has house staff! Ok she was recently recovering from a recital procedure but still..

and her 80+ year old husband left his washbag in my bedroom (as I gave them my room). It was full of Viagra. That was an embarrassing phone call - said I did not have my glasses and could not read the medication…

FIL who bases his entire personality, political and religious beliefs around a football team
It really is only a game of watching millionaires

Casually drops bigoted comments into his chats

Feel like telling him to give it a rest & take a day off
If I wear a certain colour he will ask me if I support the rival team.
One time I simply said this is just a colour to me I don't associate it with a football team
Made him look like an arse but the family took his side

There was the guest who seduced my next door neighbour after offering to 'trim her hedge' on Christmas eve. He got up late next morning (unsurprisingly) took her DSs and mine, then aged 15-16 to the pub and got them drunk. When we finally sat down to lunch, he poured all the gravy onto his plate so that there was hardly any for anyone else and he needed a spoon to eat his dinner. On Boxing Day, the neighbours eldest DS threatened to kill him and I was sympathetic to the idea.

I'm so glad I don't have to have meals with my STBEX-MIL anymore. She'd micro manage what everyone got on their plates, served herself, ExFIL and the grandchildren they are responsible for abd start eating before everyone else has got theirs plated up. So then she finishes first and leaves the table for a smoke. One year I got left at the table eating by myself as I had toddler DS to get sorted with dinner.

She's also tremendously rude to wait staff, like shockingly so, I'm so glad I don't have to spend time with them anymore

I actually want to kick fuck out my FIL

What are gravy boars? Some kind of wild pig?

“a memorable game of charades in which my stepfather graphically mimed hanging himself, and my brother’s new girlfriend, (who was with us for the first time, and I’d done her a stocking and tried really hard to make her welcome) ran upstairs in floods of tears. It turned out her father had hanged himself the previous year, and my stepfather knew this.”

I'm a BAD person as this made me laugh so much

Christ, what’s amusing about that?

Two guests arrived "We've bought you a bottle of red wine". Thank you
Asked them if they would like a drink "Red wine please but we would like the Chianti we just bought" .
Polished off the bottle between them! 🙄

BIL who always always drags his feet about confirming where he is going for christmas dinner. Confirms if he'll be there with about a week's notice. In the grand scheme of things, I can hardly say "well no you're not welcome" because there'll be loads of food anyway and it all stretches, plus I haven't done the shopping yet for it, but still...its the thoughtlessness of it. The lack of awareness that these things take planning. Like he's gracing us with his presence and we just have to suck it up.

Refusing to eat my mashed potato despite never having tried my mashed potato and deciding to bring her own, then being 3 hours late because the potatoes took so long to cook. Following year she was late again because of the mashed potato only this time she'd forgotten to even bring it!

My auntie eats like a wild animal but luckily, we rarely eat together so it comes as a shock when I witness it. She normally spends Christmas with her close family but came for tea on Boxing day 2 years ago because my brother and his family were coming. She turned up with her smelly old dog, then talked the whole time we were eating. We could see the whole mouthful churning round and bits of food flying out. Then she does a thing where she licks under her dentures and they sort of come halfway out while she slurps. All you can hear is slurp click slurp click. My lovely SIL (DB's wife) is the most polite, ladylike person and her face was a picture. Aunt thinks she is so posh and respectable, her table manners suggest otherwise.

My mum’s anti-gravy sentiment did extend to tomato ketchup, @AInightingale - dad, dsis and I were allowed to have it ONLY on certain things - fish fingers, springs to mind, or breaded chicken. The fire of her wrath would have consumed us all if anyone had suggested having it on a normal roast dinner, never mind Christmas Dinner!

And whenever the ketchup did come out, there was the muttering of “I don’t know why I spend time cooking things if they are going to be drowned in ketchup!” - not that we were allowed to use enough to drown anything - it couldn’t even paddle in the amount we were permitted!

My dear departed ex-FIL used to leave one sprout. MIL served him fewer and and fewer sprouts every year until he had only one.

He cut it in two and ate half. She graciously conceded his win.

Maybe it was the texture - but if so, why on earth did she eat it? Baffling.

Someone will always say “ Is there any XXX ?” and despite shopping for an entire month they ask for the one thing you don’t have.

My sister had newborn twins 5 days before Christmas day a few years ago. We all went to DM's house for Christmas day. DF (divorced years ago from DM) asked if he could pop in later with his wife to see the baby. DM said yes. Then, DF showed up with his wife, the wife's mother, the wife's brother and someone else and they sat in the living room, chatting for ages. They stayed so long that our Christmas lunch was ruined and my sister was upstairs crying because she was so exhausted and didn't want to have to talk to randoms on Christmas day. I thought that was so rude/thoughtless of DF!

Guests who have no intention of doing any serious clearing up after dinner so "brings things out" to the kitchen from the table. Cue piles of plates, gravy boats, glasses, serving dishes in random piles in the kitchen as they place things down in any space and run off!

Better than the guests that arrive empty-handed though! We've had 2 lots this summer staying for FREE in our Airbnb who have brought absolutely NO wine but been happy to drink some of ours, literally treating us like a hotel...grrr!

I don't get this one. Why wouldn't you serve them the wine they brought?

No, you're not irrational or idiotic.

I 100% agree with you on hygiene grounds. If the loose end is wall side then inevitably your fingers touch the wall ... and then the next person ... Well, you get the picture 🤢

Bring food
Don't bring food
Help serve and clean up
Don't help serve and clean up
Overstay welcome
Fuck off after dinner

😂😂😂

Can I ask you about this? Do you genuinely want to be left alone? I find MIL gets irritated with me if I'm not in asking what I can do but she equally gets irritated if I do as it's a small kitchen and I'm somewhat in the way. If I try to find a job to do that doesn't involve getting in her way, I inevitably do it wrong. Kinda feel I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't ! 😬

Anyone who puts meat utensils or cutlery in non-meat dishes, especially if I've not had a serving yet.
Cheers Uncle Fred, I now can't have any potatoes, leeks or parsnips. And you've used all the veggie gravy despite it being in a tiny jug, labelled with my name and next to me to avoid this.
That was a sad Christmas dinner.