Page 18 | That annoying guest - what is their christmas crime?

MrsWhites · 2025-12-14T13:54:15+00:00

So everyone has a guest or someone in the family if you don’t host who will do something seemingly innocent that will piss everyone off? Who is yours and why? I’ll go first - My sister because she uses all the gravy and doesn’t get off her arse to go and make more! No matter how much gravy we put out she will always use most of it! It’s got to the point now where we put the gravy boars furthest away from her so everyone else gets a go first!

AtTheStream · 15/12/2025 15:51

My sister who I asked to bring a sprout dish but make it suitable for vegetarians. In the middle of the crucial stage she turned up and handed me a dirty pan of unwashed, unpeeled, uncooked sprouts because she didn’t know how to cook for vegans…

KilkennyCats · 15/12/2025 15:59

Arrivederla · 15/12/2025 15:41

Ketchup on a Christmas dinner?! Absolutely rank. Not to mention totally classless.

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Classless…. Complete snobbery.
They serve ketchup at the Ivy.

AuntieGrizelda · 15/12/2025 16:11

MoodyMargaret11 · 15/12/2025 01:03

I have a reverse to that -
When I've brought wine (that I particularly like) and the host puts it away, never to be brought out as an option. So instead of offering people a choice, just pouring whatever they've decided on (wine I don't like but can't tell them so they dont get offended).

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We knew a couple like this. They would take your (nice) bottle of wine and return with wine in a carafe.

One time I was in their garage and saw several cartons of Aldi own brand wine - or something similar. This was 20 years ago so boxes of wine were not so common then.

I thought they were just being posh using a carafe. Obviously they could put the cheap carton of wine on the table.

zingally · 15/12/2025 16:11

Dollymylove · 14/12/2025 15:05

The person that puts tiny morsels of food on their fork and nibbles delicately, through the whole plate and takes so long that we could have had desert, coffee and mints, a glass of port and buggered off home before they have finished. Just get it down yer Gregory FFS!!!

I've got an auntie the exact same. Also completely incapable of choosing a meal for herself when we go out. She'll hmmm and haw, ask everyone else what they're having, debate the merits of each dish, and only when the waiter is standing right there, and we're all staring at her, will she go, "Oh! The salmon!" A dish that hasn't once been mentioned up to that point. We genuinely believe she CAN'T decide, and then just picks whatever her eye falls on first when she's asked to say her choice.

She's also the slowest eater known to mankind. She eats incredibly slowly, but also takes absolutely minuscule bites. I've genuinely watched her cut a garden pea in half, and just eat that solitary half-pea.

We can all have finished 10 minutes ago, and auntie still has 3/4 of her plate.

HOWEVER, she is the kindest, funniest, most lovely woman, so I overlook her foibles, because she is genuinely one of my favourite people.

Emmz1510 · 15/12/2025 16:11

My bil. He is a complete and utter nuisance and the impact he has on my DH- making him tense and unable to relax-pisses me off every single year. But he has no one else so…..
Some of the things are pretty innocent and on their own would be only mildly annoying. Eg, having to go outside what seems like every ten minutes to vape which usually means traipsing through my relatively small kitchen while I’m trying to cook, getting in my way and letting in a draught (he doesn’t want my neighbours to see him vaping outside the front door). Or asking for cups of tea while I’m trying to cook- he can’t do it himself without spilling milk or sugar all over the counter. Or commenting on how he wishes I’d made steak pie instead of turkey even though I make a steak pie for him every NEW YEAR. Or constantly losing his phone or his vape and everyone pauses while he looks for it. Or drinking too much. Or taking too much of his medication so he’s like a zombie and more often than not my poor OH has to take him home early meaning he can’t relax and have a drink. Those last few things are what annoy me the most. He’s also incredibly needy and asks everyone every two seconds if he is being annoying which puts people on edge. I try to cut him some slack because he has mental health and addiction issues but seriously I wish he would just take the help that’s available to him.

AuntieGrizelda · 15/12/2025 16:11

couldn't put the carton on the table.

Yogabearmous · 15/12/2025 16:15

Every year my dad says “ooh cauliflower cheese, I’ve never had that !” Despite the fact he eats it every Christmas. It’s always driven me mad.
he is 82 now and this year we are all going to cheer loudly when he says it so he knows it’s become the family joke. I’ll be so sad the Christmas Day when he isn’t there to talk about his “trying” cauliflower cheese, even though it does my head in.

Parry5timesbeforedeath · 15/12/2025 16:16

Dollymylove · 15/12/2025 15:06

The ketchup on the Xmas dinner reminds me of a woman I used to work with many moons ago. Her adult children still lived at home and she refused to allow them to smother the food she had cooked, in ketchup. Her words "Im not slaving away in the kitchen just for you to slather ketchup all over it"
Fast forward nearly 50 years and I say the same to my adult children when they come round for a meal 🤣🤣

I put ketchup on scrambled eggs. It's the only thing I eat ketchup with. I had the mother of a friend when we were teens recoil with horror and exclaim that this was 'disgusting'. I've never really understood why tbh. I'm 52 now and still remember how humiliated I felt. (And how when I put ketchup on eggs I always think 'Up yours, Diane'.

AlertOpalCrab · 15/12/2025 16:18

FIL and BIL who act as if they’ve never been fed. It’s ladies first to serve themselves whilst the two starving men pace impatiently with their plates in hand and pounce like a pack of hyenas at the first opportunity. Then proudly sit down in the dining room with a literal mound of food before covering it all in gravy to ensure the entire meal is closer to a soup than a roast

IridiumSky · 15/12/2025 16:21

BrightMintTea · 14/12/2025 14:17

The gravy thing is unforgivable. Ours is the person who starts clearing plates while others are still eating, then looks confused when people are annoyed.

This!

In fact ANY touching of other peoples’ plates AT ALL. Especially any naff passing, scraping and stacking at table.

Appalling! This is not your works canteen. Leave my f——-g plates alone!

Dollymylove · 15/12/2025 16:22

Parry5timesbeforedeath · 15/12/2025 16:16

I put ketchup on scrambled eggs. It's the only thing I eat ketchup with. I had the mother of a friend when we were teens recoil with horror and exclaim that this was 'disgusting'. I've never really understood why tbh. I'm 52 now and still remember how humiliated I felt. (And how when I put ketchup on eggs I always think 'Up yours, Diane'.

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I only say it to my kids as a joke, and they always know its coming. But the woman from.my work was deadly serious 🤣 i think she did allow them to put ketchup on back and eggs though

Openmouthinsertfood · 15/12/2025 16:23

Igotu · 15/12/2025 15:48

Yes, because brown sauce is the only sauce that should be on your Christmas dinner.

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Sorry, it's Salad Cream. 😁

FrenchandSaunders · 15/12/2025 16:27

My Dh's elderly posh auntie ... she always wanted Christmas lunch at 1pm, not a second later. That was the rule in her head.

We were hosting, we also had 1 year old twins who weren't particularly well that year ... me and DH were in the kitchen trying to sort the bloody roast out with baby twins crying and trying to climb up our legs. Auntie sat there with a face on .... no offer to help, or take a baby. Lunch was served about 1.15 ... she was not happy at all and didn't make any conversation during the meal just to make sure we knew about it.

emilysquest · 15/12/2025 16:29

Not my guest but my parents'. I am going to them for Xmas lunch this year for the first time in 20 years. They have a very longstanding friend who is a right tit. I haven't seen him for 20 years, much to my delight. My mother just messaged me that he is coming to Xmas at theirs as well. She announced it like it was a big coup and she thinks I'll be really excited about seeing him. Something like 30 years ago my parents praised me to him because of something significant I had achieved. Every time I saw him after that he made a big cringy show of calling me "SAINT Emily" in very loud tones to all and sundry. I just know that even after all these years the minute he walks into the room he will do this again. I will have to bite my tongue for my parents' sake, but I'd love to give some kind of incredibly witty putdown.

IridiumSky · 15/12/2025 16:31

Milkbloo · 14/12/2025 15:16

The one who opens my kitchen cupboard and stands there gormlessly asking “ where is the English breakfast tea.” As if it’s a staple of every household. Ohhh godddddd. !

‘English Breakfast’ is a posh synonym for builders’ tea.

The only difference is that it costs more. 🙄😀

Direct your interlocutor to the PG Tips.

takealettermsjones · 15/12/2025 16:34

Yogabearmous · 15/12/2025 16:15

Every year my dad says “ooh cauliflower cheese, I’ve never had that !” Despite the fact he eats it every Christmas. It’s always driven me mad.
he is 82 now and this year we are all going to cheer loudly when he says it so he knows it’s become the family joke. I’ll be so sad the Christmas Day when he isn’t there to talk about his “trying” cauliflower cheese, even though it does my head in.

Edited

This is really sweet 🥰

There is a similar thing with my in laws, re. a departed relative who would tell different people the same thing over and over, increasingly loudly... "look, Sarah, there are bacon bits in the sprouts." "Dave, there are bacon bits in the sprouts!" "EMMA! THERE'S BACON IN THEM SPROUTS!"

Lo and behold it's now a long running family joke to do this at the Christmas table. The younger kids who never met said relative are absolutely bewildered 😂

Monty34 · 15/12/2025 16:39

I wonder if someone should do a thread on annoying hosts habits!

TheDenimPoet · 15/12/2025 16:44

My dad's sister will consistently (not just at Christmas) tell people what they "should" have done, instead of what they "did" do. Whether that's in person, or on social media, there's always an opinion about what you've done wrong, and should have done better. It sounds mild when compared to some, but it's worn me down over the past 4 decades!

My stepson is also a pain when he comes round - as he will pick up on every single thing my grandparents say wrong. They're in their 80s, and sometimes use the wrong words, things we're no longer allowed to say etc. Let me be clear, they're lovely, they would never offend someone intentionally, they're just saying things they were brought up saying. I know this sounds like the typical "but I have black friends" statement, but there are people in our family from all walks of life, all colours, all sexualities, disabilities etc, and my grandparents have always treated them the same - as of course they should. It's just the words they use sometimes. Stepson will correct them and explain why, but in a very nasty, condescending way, as if he knows best. Neither of their memories are particularly great anymore, so they will never remember what they've been told anyway. I feel like if they were 20 years younger they'd have actually taken it on board, but their confusion is just too great now.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 15/12/2025 16:45

emilysquest · 15/12/2025 16:29

Not my guest but my parents'. I am going to them for Xmas lunch this year for the first time in 20 years. They have a very longstanding friend who is a right tit. I haven't seen him for 20 years, much to my delight. My mother just messaged me that he is coming to Xmas at theirs as well. She announced it like it was a big coup and she thinks I'll be really excited about seeing him. Something like 30 years ago my parents praised me to him because of something significant I had achieved. Every time I saw him after that he made a big cringy show of calling me "SAINT Emily" in very loud tones to all and sundry. I just know that even after all these years the minute he walks into the room he will do this again. I will have to bite my tongue for my parents' sake, but I'd love to give some kind of incredibly witty putdown.

"I'm glad my martyrdom is finally being recognised."? With a Paddington Hard Stare...

Mangelwurzelfortea · 15/12/2025 16:45

emilysquest · 15/12/2025 16:29

Not my guest but my parents'. I am going to them for Xmas lunch this year for the first time in 20 years. They have a very longstanding friend who is a right tit. I haven't seen him for 20 years, much to my delight. My mother just messaged me that he is coming to Xmas at theirs as well. She announced it like it was a big coup and she thinks I'll be really excited about seeing him. Something like 30 years ago my parents praised me to him because of something significant I had achieved. Every time I saw him after that he made a big cringy show of calling me "SAINT Emily" in very loud tones to all and sundry. I just know that even after all these years the minute he walks into the room he will do this again. I will have to bite my tongue for my parents' sake, but I'd love to give some kind of incredibly witty putdown.

What a bellend. Just frown and say, 'sorry I don't understand what you mean?' And make him explain the 'joke'. Repeat that you still don't understand so he has to explain it again and look even more of a tit.

SingingSands · 15/12/2025 16:51

People who pick their dogs up and let them sit on their knee at the dining table.

So thats's all my in-laws, apart from MIL who secretly agrees with me but won't say anything 😆

MarbleDrive · 15/12/2025 16:51

My husband’s wider family seems to contain a disproportionate number of people with food intolerances. Largely self-diagnosed. And they love talking about them. One will send us a text reminding us what she will and won’t eat.

Bore off.

emilysquest · 15/12/2025 16:53

@Mangelwurzelfortea That would look like I'd forgotten the 10 years of him doing this to me constantly! Still, if he thinks I've gone gaga maybe he'll stop! He is kind to my elderly parents though, and I don't live in the same country as them so I am grateful for that. I think I have to just grin and bear it.

MyDeftDuck · 15/12/2025 17:00

Mine is a non - guest gripe……..let me explain. OH brother is getting divorced, he also rarely phones my OH and only then when he wants something. OH has been quite poorly recently and his family know this. He’s had contact from them all……apart from the pending divorcee who just happened to phone yesterday to ask what WE were doing for Christmas but didn’t bother to enquire about his health……..OH explained that we were going away, which we are…….pending divorcee immediately cut the call short ! Do you reckon he was hankering after an invite?

Scout2016 · 15/12/2025 17:02

I'd be interested to know how many of these BILs are your other half's sibling, and how many are married to your siblings. It must be awful having a sibling married to a knobhead.

I do think vetting In Laws before marrying is important. I know it sounds daft but I knew there wasn't going to be a future with some exes when I met their families and couldn't relax. Says more about me than them I'm sure (I'm awkward) but still.