That annoying guest - what is their christmas crime?

[MrsWhites]

So everyone has a guest or someone in the family if you don’t host who will do something seemingly innocent that will piss everyone off? Who is yours and why? I’ll go first -

My sister because she uses all the gravy and doesn’t get off her arse to go and make more! No matter how much gravy we put out she will always use most of it! It’s got to the point now where we put the gravy boars furthest away from her so everyone else gets a go first!

Terminal??? Bloody hell. Death by farting. Everyday is a school day

I daren't open the floodgates about all the things that annoy me because I am hosting this year and already wishing I wasn't. So I will just go for a few of the lesser crimes and spare my blood pressure.

Coming into the kitchen and automatically stiring or poking a utensil about in whatever is cooking and peering in like it's a science experiment.

Wanting to see DC open presents but not getting up early to do so.

Wanting presents opened one at a time. So sister opens something, then mum, then dad, comments and discussion each one. First off it takes sodding hours and second I HATE people watching me open presents even if I love the gift, because I can never arrange my face right and half of the presents from one relative are just mad. A kitchen towel holder where it's a pig, and you fix the kitchen towel to roll as the body, with a head and front legs one end and back end the other side????? It's not even like pigsxare my favourite animal or anything.

Not getting up early and being out of sync with everyone else the rest of the day(s). So I end up doing a breakfast type lunch for those who were up and for those who weren't it's brunch, the morning gets screwed because they aren't up to go out or do anything but will get miffed if we leave them behind.

Saying you don't want to eat and treating it like something to be proud of, hovering over those of us who do eat three meals a day and commenting on what we are eating. I know you snaffle dry bread from the kitchen and have started buying bread rolls just to accommodate this, otherwise we run out of sliced bread.

I best stop there actually.

Sounds like my mum

The guest who doesn't get up until 11am on Christmas day then wants breakfast as we're trying to get Christmas lunch underway & unaware he's completely in the way!
The guest who hogs the TV watching depressing war films. Gets all huffy if anyone wants to watch light, fun Christmas films.
That's just a couple of last years irritations 🙄

The guest who doesn't get up until 11am on Christmas day then wants breakfast as we're trying to get Christmas lunch underway & unaware he's completely in the way!
The guest who hogs the TV watching depressing war films. Gets all huffy if anyone wants to watch light, fun Christmas films.
That's just a couple of last years irritations 🙄

To the tune of "When Santa got stuck up the chimney":

"When..."

Somebody needs to script this into a 60 min sit-com for Christmas telly viewing.
(You have my sympathy)

This thing of having presents sent to other people’s houses from the retailer is really bad. I don’t know what the convention needs to be, because obviously sending a hamper or something is ok. (Although hampers are crap, but they’d still be crap if the giver sent it to their own house and then brought it as a gift.) but I can’t bear pole unloading their present admin on me by just having parcels from Amazon sent to my house. Something needs to be Sone about this.

My mother never, ever made gravy, @SlowSloths - she used to say she didn’t spend ages cooking so people could pour gravy over everything so it all tasted of gravy! As a result, I grew up enjoying a roast dinner without gravy - we had bread sauce/apple sauce/mustard with the different meats. I still don’t have gravy on most things - but I make sure we do have plenty of gravy for those who like it, and wouldn't dream of going all cat’s-bum-face at them like mum used to.

And at Christmas, I make home made stock so the gravy is delicious, and even I have a bit on my Christmas dinner. I’m disabled so don’t do much cooking now, but dh spent Saturday making stock from two duck carcasses, and it’s in the freezer so we can make the gravy on Christmas Eve.

My sister because she will cause drama and cry at some point. I don't think I've been to a single event in years where she hasn't cried.

I wish she wasn't coming.

😂

He does have my back when he can but its a small house where one room leads off another, so if there's a houseful, after we've eaten MIL brings an extra chair in and plonks herself in front of the door through to the kitchen. It does give us an excuse to go early...

”Coming into the kitchen and automatically stirring or poking a utensil about in whatever is cooking and peering in like it's a science experiment.”

@Scout2016 - there was a thread about this, a few years ago - people who come and interfere with the cooking, and stir the food into mush whilst doing so. Someone coined the term ‘spoonyfuckers’ to describe them!

My partner's BIL is the most insufferable moron I have ever had to encounter. He is a functioning alcoholic and a mortgage broker. He does sod all except sit on his arse and drink.

He is racist, sexist and homophobic and one of those people who if you say black, he will counter with white just to be contrary.

Every Christmas family meal, my poor MIL AND partner (by default to help the mum) run around serving them, whilst said insufferable moron sits there with his feet up and crossed and holds out a glass to demonstrate he has run dry!

He then proceeds to give a speech on Economics whilst thinking he is the CEO of the Bank of England. I started to reduce his audience every time he opened his insufferable moronic trap by starting a new conversation with the person next to me at the table.

He is a woeful husband, a woeful father and he seems to think he is god's devine gift.

He mugged off my SIL's 50th birthday and cancelled their weekend away, and sodded off to Benidorm for a lads weekend like he was a 20 year old. The guy is in his 40s!

This year's annual dinner was last night and I didn't go. Shame as I adore my partner's mum and stepdad.

But insufferable moron takes a good ten months to get over, so I have only just stopped reeling this past October. Too soon for another installment of his nuggets of wisdom rubbish he inflicts on the rest of us.

Is there an eject button for these scroungers of society? I suffer a similar fate.

I can see why sometimes people murder in the heat of the moment!😂

Step father pours salt over his food without tasting it , he is diabetic and has high blood pressure , he never goes in the kitchen and has never ever made her a cup of tea.
He also injects himself into his tummy at the table.
This Christmas if he does anything like that I am going to stand up and make a speech

Yes add this to my list too please - sending stuff for me to take in and wrap. Extra annoying if the sender didn't even think of the present idea themselves.
So I tell you what to get, sometimes even sending a link to it, take it in and wrap it, with packaging I don't have space in my recycling for, but it's still "from" you because you paid? Right.

That surely is the best Xmas Sitcom Episode never written. Thanks.😂

Because it is her house and she rightly doesn't want current affairs, much less right wing ones booming in the background on Christmas Day?

We get enough of that draining crap the other 364 days of the year.

DHs brother who's always talking about those true crime podcasts he loves. I'm no stranger to falling down the rabbit hole of unresolved crimes myself but why would you feel the need to bring this up at the Christmas dinner!

I just fume every year after doing all the cooking and clearing up to find that the same person year on year has eaten all the green triangles in the quality street yet again, knowing that they are my favourite. Just upsetting. But this year I’ve taken them all out so I can enjoy them in peace .

@Thundertoast It sounds uncannily like my youngest brother!

Ding ding ding! Correct gender and birth order! I hope we are related, I always fancied a sibling who wasnt so self absorbed.

My DF will do that and add extra salt (he likes a lot of salt) and other weird flavourings - he has to be watched.

I once hosted Xmas dinner and my MIL brought her own roast potatoes, par boiled and with goose fat on, ready to go in the oven. This was without warning first so I already had my own pile of potatoes ready to cook in a relatively small oven. She also handed me a plastic packet of pre-cooked chicken for my hubby's younger brother to eat (14 or 15 years old at the time), not having told me he didn't like the turkey and ham we were preparing. It was in the early days of us cooking a Xmas dinner, but still.

On a slightly different note, we had someone come to our wedding in Italy and devour the lovingly made Ferrero Roche tower we had made in honour of my late mum, for whom that was her favourite treat. Literally no one else got a look in on any of them, there was just a tower of wrappers left. It was the most expensive 'extra' we had added to our day 🙄