That annoying guest - what is their christmas crime?

[MrsWhites]

So everyone has a guest or someone in the family if you don’t host who will do something seemingly innocent that will piss everyone off? Who is yours and why? I’ll go first -

My sister because she uses all the gravy and doesn’t get off her arse to go and make more! No matter how much gravy we put out she will always use most of it! It’s got to the point now where we put the gravy boars furthest away from her so everyone else gets a go first!

My BIL - turns up Xmas eve completely empty handed stays until the 27th makes no attempt to help with anything, might clear away a plate or two. Drinks the wine and is excellent at minesweeping the table at the end to eat seconds or thirds of everything

😡😡😡😡 urgh I would be beside myself!

I have a regular guest who pours (massive) glasses of mixed drinks, then forgets where they've put them, pours another, and repeat ad infinitum. Wastes my spirits and leaves me with random almost-full glasses to clear up that nobody claims. I bloody know who it is!!

I've had the "can I just give the kids a packet of crisps" 10 minutes before dinner guest, but the worst ever - and the reason we haven't had anyone over on Christmas day since - was my dad's first girlfriend post divorce, who was so unremittingly awful 50% of my children spent Christmas lunchtime crying on the floor while my brother and I just sat there thinking WTF. She just kept pointing things out and asking if was normal (yes, for us) or commenting on stuff. She was never obviously rude but having someone constantly point out your curtains and cooking and children and ask if I really meant it to look/be/act like that was very wearing. Luckily he dumped her in January and bar the letter she sent in Comic Sans printed in turquoise ink I've not heard of her since.

Now the person I really miss at Christmas, and who was the antidote to every shite guest ever was my stepmother. Always ready to jump in when needed or asked, always ready to keep herself or my dad out of the way otherwise. Always turned up with something, always managed to prevent my dad showing up with his nasty bread and butter pudding.

I need to know if they arrived! What happened next?

Nice one. I like your style x

Mil- where do I start? Does nothing to help and always asks if she can help just as you finish doing whatever is needed. Always complaining of a draft. Constantly complaining that she can only eat small portions before eating a huge portion then when she has a tiny bit left saying its beating me and trying to give what she has left away. The constant feeling that everything you are doing isnt good enough! Being stuck between elderley relatives who want peace and quiet and teens who want life.

Who is this person and why on earth do you have to invite them?

My dad piles his plate sky high, has 2 bites goes for a cigarette… we don’t have the biggest dining room so we have to get up for him to get out, he then disappears playing on his phone out the front for about 20-30 minutes comes back sits down again takes one more mouthful and says he can’t eat anymore. My mum and him are splitting up (not on good terms he’s very abusive, narcissistic and manipulative) he wasn’t invited this year but waited till I was on my own with my 10 year old to ask what we’re doing for Xmas this year, I said “oh mums told you we’re having dinner at home” to which he goes oh I can’t wait I love your cooking. Put me in an awful situation in front of my daughter (if you knew my dad you’d understand why I felt on the spot- very clever)

he doesn’t contribute anything not even towards Xmas presents, just an all round selfish guy praying this is the last year of us all putting it up with it and he’ll be in his own place next year.

I know this feeling.

Mils weird rules about what people can drink and when, especially when it comes to hot drinks. Can't have one because we'll be eating soon, or because we've just eaten or because the day has a "y" in it. No one else is allowed to make a drink. She doesn't have hot drinks herself - there's plenty of blue lucozade - her drink of choice, tango for fil and booze but nothing else for non alcohol drinkers. Yes we take stuff but it gets pounced and put away.

I have resorted to leaving drinks including a flask ofq coffee in the car and sneaking out for.some fresh air!

😮 this would be horrible! Can DH not just breeze in and brew up?? I often think you've just got to out-cheek these people 😂

My sibling... suffers from 'insomnia' and will aggressively insist they have 'tried everything' for 10+ years (weird how, in a conversation they started about it, I asked if they had ever tried x to which they said 'no...' and clearly hadnt heard of it... x is a remedy that would come up several times on even a basic Google search) will then use that excuse to stay in the guest room until gone 1pm (we eat at 3 and they will have been awake since 10) and then make zero offer to prep or help dish up and sit on their phone.

They will then will sit there for 20 minutes after the main meal has finished until I pointedly ask them to help clear away (because ive helped parent prep and dish up) after another family member has already done 75% of it and they will give me a scathing look like im the world biggest idiot and say 'yeah, I'll do it in a minute, there's no rush' Then take a couple of plates into the kitchen and only put stuff in the dishwasher that doesnt need scraping/sorting first.
We are a casual, 'pitch in' style house and yet they will sit on their arse and not offer to make a drink or top up a glass all day, until 9pm when they want to open the rum and will make a big show of offering to make my parent a drink like they are the second coming.
Prizes for anyone who can correctly guess the gender and order of birth for this sibling...

My brother with sprawl on the sofa as soon as he has finished pudding and groan and moan about being exhausted after doing sod all. He will finally heave himself up for snacks once everything is cleared away.
Fat bastard.

Bloody hell @whitchyvibes* *dont leave us hanging, did they turn up?? what happened next?

The vomiting aunt wins! Hands down, what a way to ruin a Christmas dinner 🤢

My step daughters husband does about 80% of these. He really is one fat, lazy obnoxious git. Roll on the 27th when they go home.

It certainly counts for batshit behaviour 🤣

I am morbidly fascinated by the aunt who is sick after eating mash. Not just why she ate it, but why /how does it make her sick? And so quickly?

He was a " quirky" character. We turned it into a game - grandad bingo. It was either that or strangle him at the table.

I can identify with this. Somebody gifted (got rid of ) an old piano to my dad. It was decided that I would start piano lessons I was about 9. Piano teacher was horrible, elderly spinster who smelt funny which I know realise was alcohol.
So I was learning some simple tunes and every time we had visitors it was "oh Dollymylove come and play the piano for aunty/uncle/granny"
It was horrible and so embarrassing. I was no Liberace but my parents seemed to think I was 🤣😂😂

LTB😆

Warning - don't read this if you are eating or have a sensitive stomach!

Grandad is long passed now but as a kid, when having a Sunday Lunch or Christmas dinner, if something got caught in his full set dentures, he would take them out of his mouth at the dinner table, pick at and clean them with a tissue/serviette, then leave them at the side of his plate, whilst he SUCKED the rest of his meal!

Oh and whilst this wasn't at the table, he went to the loo (with his teeth in) and as he flushed the loo he coughed, his dentures came flying out into the toilet bowl and his dentures got lodged in the pipe! I know this as I had the smallest hands and I was needed to get them out. Believe me when I say, that this was not the Secret Santa surprise I was hoping for that day!

Yes it does!🤣

Like most people, for Xmas dinner we always provide far more of everything than is likely to be eaten in one meal and place it on the table in serving dishes for guests to help themselves. (There is far more than we will eat in that meal, but I know there will be zero food waste as there are teens in the house who will fight over leftovers later/on boxing day).
One of the elderly relatives who often comes to us insists on counting how much of each dish there is per person and making sure everyone knows. Anyone who takes more or less than their 'allocation' is challenged. She complains that there is far too much for her and tries to take and then give away her 'allocation'. Every year she is told there's no allocated amount; there just plenty for everyone to have as much as they like so she should just take what she wants. Every year she argues she's just trying to be fair and continues to try to force everyone to take the rest of 'their' food and put a share of 'her' food on their plate as well as the serving they've already taken. I have no idea why she does it- as far as I know she's never been short of food and isn't from a big family where she might have had to ensure she gets her share.