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Original poster

That annoying guest - what is their christmas crime?

716 replies

MrsWhites · 14/12/2025 13:54

So everyone has a guest or someone in the family if you don’t host who will do something seemingly innocent that will piss everyone off? Who is yours and why? I’ll go first -

My sister because she uses all the gravy and doesn’t get off her arse to go and make more! No matter how much gravy we put out she will always use most of it! It’s got to the point now where we put the gravy boars furthest away from her so everyone else gets a go first!

OP posts:
Pinkladyapplepie · 14/12/2025 22:18

QuirkyMoose · 14/12/2025 14:45

It's so minor, but to me so annoying, when we're enjoying a meal, the lights are low with lovely ambiance and candles, and we're going to Segway from dinner to coffee and dessert to playing a little game or something around the table, something that everyone can participate in for a laugh, and one or two people bring out their phones, and start playing on phones. I don't like to be the phone police, and I'm sure they don't think that they're disrupting the mood but I really don't care for that.

My family is large and includes young ppl in there 20s who can be obsessed with their phones but my DGD 7 is the phone police at family gatherings and will actually remove a phone is she has to ask twice for ppl to put them away. I am going to encourage her into secondary teaching she would be a natural 😅

Run30 · 14/12/2025 22:20

My adult son gets himself a glass of water. Drinks half, puts it down and wanders off.

He does this about ten times a day so there are never any glasses available when I come to lay the table for dinner.

Morereadingthanposting · 14/12/2025 22:25

I had a friend who turned up, announced they had weevils and people weren’t aware enough of weevils so she was going to check all my flour, pasta . Cereal etc for weevils. Proceeded to empty my pantry to check for said weevils, sieving flour, emptying cereal into bowls etc as I was cooking and all other guests arrived… and happily explained to everyone what was going on. was a pre-Christmas friends Xmas dinner not Xmas day though so not sure if it counts?

Happyasapiginmuck1 · 14/12/2025 22:27

My dog - I'll be in the kitchen cooking for an hour, right next to the back door. As soon as I sit down to eat, she'll want to be let out to poo!

Longsight2019 · 14/12/2025 22:34

Uncle again - scrapes his cutlery like he’s taking the piss. But he isn’t. My kids all smirk and watch him, but as he’s oblivious to those around him, he doesn’t notice.

sprigatito · 14/12/2025 22:38

Morereadingthanposting · 14/12/2025 22:25

I had a friend who turned up, announced they had weevils and people weren’t aware enough of weevils so she was going to check all my flour, pasta . Cereal etc for weevils. Proceeded to empty my pantry to check for said weevils, sieving flour, emptying cereal into bowls etc as I was cooking and all other guests arrived… and happily explained to everyone what was going on. was a pre-Christmas friends Xmas dinner not Xmas day though so not sure if it counts?

bet she was so pissed off not to find any weevils in your pantry!

Molto · 14/12/2025 22:41

MrsJeanLuc · 14/12/2025 20:10

This made me chuckle 😁

@QuirkyMoose the word you are looking for is segue 😁

Segue (verb/noun)
Meaning: A smooth transition from one thing to another.
Example: "The band will segue from the slow song into the upbeat one," or "That's a great segue into our next point".

Segway (noun)
Meaning: The specific brand of personal transporter device.
Example: "He rode his Segway to the store".

Trick to remember:
segue: has a 'u', like "uninterrupted" or "transition".
Segway: is the brand name, like a "way" to get around.

Show quote history

Trick to remember:
segue: has a 'u', like "uninterrupted" or "transition".

Ah yes, the famous ‘u’ in “transition”.

(Not sure how either of those words would help anyone remember which spelling went with which usage, either. Isn’t the point that the sample words remind us of the differences or specifics?)

snowmichael · 14/12/2025 22:44

Jellycatspyjamas · 14/12/2025 16:50

I’d be murderous if someone asked for ketchup after I’d spent hours cooking a lovely Christmas dinner for everyone.

Show quote history

I've never had ketchup (nor brown sauce) in my house since I left home
Anyone asking for it gets a short "No"

Pushmepullu · 14/12/2025 22:51

My brother will wait until I sit down to eat and ask for a coffee.

MoonCharged · 14/12/2025 22:52

I have 3 BILs who only come out at Christmas. They are all bachelors with no children. I have three kids aged from 3 - 11. The eldest BIL has a loud booming voice like Brian Blessed. He also uses the F word for every third word in a sentence. Its not tourettes....hes just a sweary guy. Anyway....he riles my kids up, has them running round screaming and his booming voice chasing them round shouting POO POO HEAD over and over again while im trying to focus on cooking. So then we sit down for food....kids are whipped to a frenzy and dont wanna eat and BIL is virtually shouting and dropping F bombs for my 3 year old to parrot copy. I hate it.

snowmichael · 14/12/2025 22:53

Reading this makes me so glad I go away every Xmas and don't have to put up with any family :)

Wreckinball · 14/12/2025 22:53

One who loads up the worktops with their things on arrival and they stay there, they also open all kitchen cupboards looking for things but leaves the doors open, especially the upper ones. Another who leaves loo seat up and dribbles everywhere

Xmasdemon · 14/12/2025 22:58

Wexone · 14/12/2025 22:01

thank you
from the comments I have gotten off people you swear I was mashing up a human being and eating them. 😩🙈 like yer man out of silence of the lambs

Show quote history

Yeah I saw lol

YouMightLikeCats · 14/12/2025 23:03

Themagicfarawaytreeismyfav · 14/12/2025 20:46

I can’t imagine being that uptight that I police how people enjoy their food 🙄

Show quote history

See how you've expressed that you found that post to be not to your taste?

Were you "policing" what people can say on MN by doing that?

Bungle2168 · 14/12/2025 23:13

To my mind, unless one has a toilet roll holder with a serrated flap/lid, the paper should hang wall side because it is easier to separate the paper along the perforations if it is hung that way.

Bahhhhhumbug · 14/12/2025 23:19

SugarCookieMonster · 14/12/2025 14:03

@Missingducks I have an image of you setting up a hanging mirror (like in a budgie’s cage) at the dinner table to keep him in his seat 😂

🤣🤣🤣😂

Isayitasitis · 14/12/2025 23:23

sprigatito · 14/12/2025 15:23

DS2 who will eat literally all of the pigs in blankets if I don’t watch him! He’s 21 😡 and I make 48 of the fuckers for 6 of us, so we shouldn’t have to fight for a couple each!

I’m very lucky these days to only have people I like for Christmas dinner - any irritations are minor - but I have a few corking examples from my many years of hosting my awful mother and stepfather and their lot for Christmas. Highlights include:

my mother turning up with two little dogs without warning us (we had cats and toddlers), insisting on locking them in our shed over Christmas dinner, then going completely nuts and terrifying my children because the dogs got out and ran away

the lot of them having a row in the car on the way to ours, so when they arrived he wouldn’t speak to anyone, my brother was in tears and my mother immediately locked herself in our bedroom and refused to attend Christmas dinner

my stepfather getting blind drunk and passing out on our bathroom floor in a pool of vomit in the middle of the afternoon

a memorable game of charades in which my stepfather graphically mimed hanging himself, and my brother’s new girlfriend, (who was with us for the first time, and I’d done her a stocking and tried really hard to make her welcome) ran upstairs in floods of tears. It turned out her father had hanged himself the previous year, and my stepfather knew this.

It’s such a relief not to have Christmases like that any more.

That is absolutely disgusting doing that, knowing her relative did that.

I wouldn't invite him again after that, if that were me. Horrible creature.

PigletJohn · 14/12/2025 23:23

MrsWhites · 14/12/2025 20:18

Wow, some of these make my gravy scoffing sister seem like a breeze.

To be fair, she does also roll her eyes at my autistic son not eating much of the Christmas dinner, he doesn’t like roast potatoes and he doesn’t eat much veg - she thinks it is better to shout at her toddler for not eating his sprouts than letting him eat turkey, pigs in blankets, potato waffles (the only potato item he will eat) and cauliflower cheese.

We have in the past made her her own jug of gravy but she said we were being rude pointing out how much she liked it and declared that the main gravy boat was a better consistency anyway.

It would be in my house.

I make a very good gravy, but it takes time and effort. If I suffered a gravy hog I would provide individual little jugs of the good stuff and make a gallon of gravy-granules for topping her jug up.

"What a pity, the first batch is all gone."

Knittedanimal · 14/12/2025 23:35

sprigatito · 14/12/2025 15:23

DS2 who will eat literally all of the pigs in blankets if I don’t watch him! He’s 21 😡 and I make 48 of the fuckers for 6 of us, so we shouldn’t have to fight for a couple each!

I’m very lucky these days to only have people I like for Christmas dinner - any irritations are minor - but I have a few corking examples from my many years of hosting my awful mother and stepfather and their lot for Christmas. Highlights include:

my mother turning up with two little dogs without warning us (we had cats and toddlers), insisting on locking them in our shed over Christmas dinner, then going completely nuts and terrifying my children because the dogs got out and ran away

the lot of them having a row in the car on the way to ours, so when they arrived he wouldn’t speak to anyone, my brother was in tears and my mother immediately locked herself in our bedroom and refused to attend Christmas dinner

my stepfather getting blind drunk and passing out on our bathroom floor in a pool of vomit in the middle of the afternoon

a memorable game of charades in which my stepfather graphically mimed hanging himself, and my brother’s new girlfriend, (who was with us for the first time, and I’d done her a stocking and tried really hard to make her welcome) ran upstairs in floods of tears. It turned out her father had hanged himself the previous year, and my stepfather knew this.

It’s such a relief not to have Christmases like that any more.

These are characters from Inside Number 9!

Pusstachio · 14/12/2025 23:37

SIL who used to be a head teacher regards our kids as some sort of fabulous experiment. She’ll always try to casually drop in that there’s actually a new Montessori nursery/Art therapy play group/Steiner inspired school near us and actually she did check and there are places and it’s perfect for our less academic child. Similarly, are we considering Oxbridge coaching etc for our more academic child.

The most ridiculous part of all of it is our two kids are broadly similar for academic attainment- one of them was just a bit slower to read in primary but we didn’t know he needed glasses until quite late! Luckily the kids are both in on it now and somewhat bemused

WhyAreYouIkeThis · 14/12/2025 23:45

I think people have been pretty hard on you @Wexone

I wouldn't do that myself, but I can't imagine judging what other people do with their own food, and I think calling something like that "stomach churning" is a bit over the top.. you're just combining your food, not sprinkling bogeys on it!
And I don't agree with the idea that it's insulting to the chef either just because you're not experiencing the textures the way they want you to 😅 ..if I cook for someone then I want them to enjoy it, so enjoy it your way!

Thankfully it sounds like your loved ones are happy for you to be comfortable eating how you like!

SarahAndQuack · 14/12/2025 23:46

I'm cringing at that @Pusstachio.

My dad is like that. I don't think he knows how to relate to children without effectively writing an academic report on them. One year when all his grandchildren were smaller they were happily making towers out of bricks, and suddenly - right in front of them - he decided it was time to explain why my nephew was mathematically enormously more unusual and gifted than his older sister, and my daughter had far greater physical co-ordination than her same-age cousin, but lacked the ability to count properly, and also her speech seemed to be slightly impaired as he couldn't understand her words clearly, and had we considered tutoring (for the bright nephew) and speech therapy (for my DD)?

The children in question were rising 4 and nine months old, respectively. Hmm DD wasn't 'speaking' at all.

I wish I could say he's got better, but he still belongs to the school of thought that it is perfectly acceptable to say whatever you like about children right in front of them, and to compare siblings to each other in terms of intelligence or aptitute.

Wexone · 14/12/2025 23:48

WhyAreYouIkeThis · 14/12/2025 23:45

I think people have been pretty hard on you @Wexone

I wouldn't do that myself, but I can't imagine judging what other people do with their own food, and I think calling something like that "stomach churning" is a bit over the top.. you're just combining your food, not sprinkling bogeys on it!
And I don't agree with the idea that it's insulting to the chef either just because you're not experiencing the textures the way they want you to 😅 ..if I cook for someone then I want them to enjoy it, so enjoy it your way!

Thankfully it sounds like your loved ones are happy for you to be comfortable eating how you like!

thank you very much. ❤️

RonaldMcDonaldTrump · 14/12/2025 23:50

4 year old announcing that he needs a poo, just as I've finally sat down to join the table

Witchyvibes · 14/12/2025 23:50

I wasn't hosting, but was once at a Christmas dinner where a guest's awful husband took a call from his drunk brother just as we were sitting down, and loudly told him that he and his "crew" should join, and gave the address. I thought the hostess was going to have a stroke, and while people were saying there really wasn't enough food or space for multiple extra people, and maybe don't have super drunk folks around our little kids, he told his brother to stop at the garage and bring snacks, and the hosting family to 'get over themselves".