Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

That annoying guest - what is their christmas crime?

716 replies

MrsWhites · 14/12/2025 13:54

So everyone has a guest or someone in the family if you don’t host who will do something seemingly innocent that will piss everyone off? Who is yours and why? I’ll go first -

My sister because she uses all the gravy and doesn’t get off her arse to go and make more! No matter how much gravy we put out she will always use most of it! It’s got to the point now where we put the gravy boars furthest away from her so everyone else gets a go first!

OP posts:
Xmasdemon · 14/12/2025 21:19

There's nothing wrong with mixing your food up. I mix peas with mash potatoes it's really tasty that way. Will try mixing in gravy

Snowangles · 14/12/2025 21:20

@asco how refreshing to hear some one stand up for themselves.

@Tabitha005 that is the stuff of perfect dreams you are insanely lucky

Dollymylove · 14/12/2025 21:21

IVbumble · 14/12/2025 19:11

What??!!!!

They fart themselves to death??

If only.......🤣🤣🤣

Christmaspuddingpinky · 14/12/2025 21:23

SarahAndQuack · 14/12/2025 15:42

I am trying to be charitable, because I know you feel the cold more as you get older. And I also know your sense of smell goes. But my mum drives me mad.

Invariably, she gets herself chilled on the journey up, and comes in shivering. I prepare for her coming by setting the heating around 23, putting clean blankets on every sofa, putting a stack of blankets and a thick duvet in her room, etc.

She will be wearing various layers of clothes, none of them terribly clean, with a jumper that has obviously not been washed for several weeks (she is quite open about this). In the heat, it starts to smell. Then either I swipe it off her with a cheerful 'just putting a wash on and I'll pop this in too,' or I struggle on.

Inevitably, jumper or no, she will do something like pottering round the garden without her coat, or going for a bracing walk in the rain, and she will start shivering piteously. At which point my dad will leap up and ask in concern 'is the heating even on?!' while theatrically feeling up the (boiling) radiators.

I turn the thermostat up to 24 and DD strips to her vest.

Mum refuses a bath or a shower (which might warm her up) on the grounds it is far, far, far too chilly to think of such a thing. If I am lucky, she will tuck a clean blanket over her filthy jumper. If not, dad will start telling me how heating really needs to be over 18 and this 'very very cold house' is a false economy. He'll fiddle with the thermostat and express concern that it doesn't seem to heat much.

DD goes bright pink and becomes listless.

Sometime around 11pm, I will surreptitously turn the heating back down to an artic 22. Then it stays on all night.

In the morning they will finally declare they are quite warm enough, thank you! Until the next time mum decides it's absolutely crucial to spend three hours in my garden in the frost, wearing a coat designed to protect you from light summer showers. And then we're on to round two.

Invariably, I will be told sadly how my 'very cold house' is all to blame.

hahahahaha!!!!! Absolutely hilarious! You win xxx

Snowangles · 14/12/2025 21:25

@BillieWiper 😂

Tickyandtackyandjackiethebackie · 14/12/2025 21:27

Cismyfatarse · 14/12/2025 17:16

My MiL who scrapes and churns and mashes everything on her plate into a disgusting swampy mess. She spends the whole meal moving food around, building little hills, mashing them down, building another.

My DM does exactly the same thing! She's in her 70's and clearly has disordered eating habits.
We recently ate out in a lovely restaurant. I had the same delicate vegetarian dish as her and watched with horror as she poured not only cranberry sauce but also sweet chilli sauce all over her food and mix it into a brown mush! It made me feel sick and she only ate 1/4 of it! What a waste!

Francestein · 14/12/2025 21:33

@MrsWhites Why don’t you make SIL a giant bowl of (packet) gravy and put it in front of her saying “That’s yours” and hand her a
straw?

MissConductUS · 14/12/2025 21:33

physicshappy · 14/12/2025 17:53

I know this is old fashioned but I have a deal with people who don't use their knives and forks properly and eat like Americans. also though who constantly use their fingers to pick up food from their Xmas dinner plates

How do Americans eat?

lilybloomtoo · 14/12/2025 21:36

MissConductUS · 14/12/2025 21:33

How do Americans eat?

food cut up then
fork in the right hand

Whichone2024 · 14/12/2025 21:37

SisSuffragette · 14/12/2025 13:57

My kids who will always ask for a cup of milk or similar just as I am sitting down after serving literally everyone else 😂

Oh yes why do kids do this. I can actually feel them watching me sit down before asking!

CharlotteByrde · 14/12/2025 21:40

The food mashing controversy reminded me of this scene from To Kill a Mocking Bird between Calpurnia and Scout. When she squinted down at me the tiny lines around her eyes deepened. “There’s some folks who don’t eat like us,” she whispered fiercely, “but you ain’t called on to contradict ‘em at the table when they don’t. That boy’s yo’ comp’ny and if he wants to eat up the table cloth you let him, you hear?”

Fontet · 14/12/2025 21:42

F

MissConductUS · 14/12/2025 21:48

lilybloomtoo · 14/12/2025 21:36

food cut up then
fork in the right hand

Blimey, bloody barbarians, eh?

realsavagelike · 14/12/2025 21:49

Whichone2024 · 14/12/2025 21:37

Oh yes why do kids do this. I can actually feel them watching me sit down before asking!

Exactly this. Mine are slowly learning though, and have taken to prefacing their request with “Before you sit down, mum…”

Ginseng1 · 14/12/2025 21:51

My mother. Her crime is she is ALWAYS late for Christmas lunch. No matter what time I say she'll just come when she wants. 'sure it's a relaxing day why rush' Grand when she's not the one frigging cooking. We often just start without her. Last year she gave out to my brother the next day saying she had to eat her starter on her own. This year we have in laws staying so we will be eating at the time we say & just let her come when she wants I honestly don't care if she has to eat the whole thing on her own. I get so annoyed!! Last year her excuse was she had to wrap presents wtf she was doing all December I don't know!!!

BauhausOfEliott · 14/12/2025 21:53

Wexone · 14/12/2025 19:45

why not? if I want to eat it then why not? what difference is it to my husband taking the leg of a turkey instead k breast of my mother in law saying no to brushless sprouts as she doesn't eat them. why is the way I like to eat food such an issue.

Because it’s kind of revolting for other people to have to watch an adult playing with their food and mushing it all up into slop like a baby.

It’s a bit like saying “If I want to scoop my trifle out of my dessert bowl with my fingers then why not?” The reason why not is that it’s gross for the people around you.

Wexone · 14/12/2025 21:56

BauhausOfEliott · 14/12/2025 21:53

Because it’s kind of revolting for other people to have to watch an adult playing with their food and mushing it all up into slop like a baby.

It’s a bit like saying “If I want to scoop my trifle out of my dessert bowl with my fingers then why not?” The reason why not is that it’s gross for the people around you.

if its that revolting don't look concentrate on your own bloody food. don't you worry how other people are eating

Wexone · 14/12/2025 22:01

Xmasdemon · 14/12/2025 21:19

There's nothing wrong with mixing your food up. I mix peas with mash potatoes it's really tasty that way. Will try mixing in gravy

thank you
from the comments I have gotten off people you swear I was mashing up a human being and eating them. 😩🙈 like yer man out of silence of the lambs

Snowangles · 14/12/2025 22:06

@Jellycatspyjamas we will only have asparagus at this time of year to go with smoked salmon sarter

Longsight2019 · 14/12/2025 22:10

Two useless uncles who make no conversation, eat all the snacks before anyone else gets a chance, fall asleep after dinner and never help turn the kitchen around

If we are lucky one of them will bring some cheapo buck’s fizz. One year he brought a bladder of cheap pre mixed cocktail from ASDA and went on and on about how nice it was. It was a WooWoo and was bloody awful.

In all the years we’ve served them (40plus) between my mum and I not once have they offered to contribute towards the cost of laying on a dinner for 8 people.

Charminggoldfinch · 14/12/2025 22:11
  1. double dippers with used cutlery into shared dishes - or those who lick fingers and then go in for more crisps etc (shared snacks are now banned when my in-laws are round and individual portions are served up in the kitchen)
  2. guests who don’t take the hint when being asked to help clean up but will wait until they have obviously heard you clearing the kitchen up for the past 40 mins to then come and ask ‘is there anything I can help with?!’ That way they can say they offered but have done sweet FA.
  3. those who bring a ‘host gift’ of a single bottle of red wine to a house that does not drink it - and they then ask ‘do you have any red wine?’ And proceed to drink your ‘gift’
  4. those who will accept gifts from your for their kids/ adults/ household but buy your childless household nothing in return as ‘Christmas is all about the kids’. you can probably guess that I am particular about who I host now!
Greenpeanutsnail · 14/12/2025 22:14

Helping herself to lots of leftovers to take home without even asking.

Snowangles · 14/12/2025 22:14

@101Alsatians read the dear darling late Madeline wickhams Christmas book in the shopaholic series she has to navigate a draining sister like that.
How rude !

Longsight2019 · 14/12/2025 22:18

BillieWiper · 14/12/2025 15:20

There was this one woman, my mum's mate, who I'd dutifully cook for every year. She'd just sit there. Never ever smiled. Never once even offered to do the washing up or help tidy.

One Xmas morning, I was lovingly and rather frustratedly easing a load of home made garlic herb butter under the breast skin of my turkey.

Paying close attention and desperate not to rip the skin...she sat opposite me looking nonchalant and then screwed up her face and said

'Oh, that will make the turkey awfully greasy'.

Steam nearly poured out of my ears. When in this history of the universe has a Christmas turkey ever been accused of being fucking GREASY?!

And even if it was maybe she could cook her own instead of eating my (not remotely greasy) one for ten shitting years?!

Edited

Hilarious.

One of my uncles once said “don’t use any herbs or garlic in your dinners as it makes them tasty “earthy” and it “doesn’t go”

I ignored him.

The same Uncle who, no matter how much effort is made to provide a delicious dinner, it never raises a compliment or a thanks.

Weegingernut · 14/12/2025 22:18

My parents who refuse to decide what there doing for Christmas until days before (the

Swipe left for the next trending thread