To want to ban these phrases (not light-hearted - this would be my first act as dictator)

[OptimismvsRealism]

"I'm reaching out" - no, you are contacting me by email

"it broke me" - no, it made you a bit sad

"Picky bits tea" - just no

pension pot is what the government and HMRC call it.

God yes this is hideous. Though useful for spotting wankers.

600 posts in less than 3 hours! Nice one @OptimismvsRealism 😆

I’m still laughing at literally an owl

How could I forget "our hearts are full"

I need to go and find another thread.

In order to be properly offensive, however, it should read, "Roy Cropper be like!"

Sat instead of sitting as in ‘ I was sat at the table’ same for stood and standing. . .
Also ‘hacks’ - what happened to tips?
There are so many more grammar ones - I could go on . . .Mixing up ‘me’ and ‘I’ being particularly irritating.
Lastly, ‘mortified’ - just say ‘I was a bit embarrassed . . . ‘

Keep calm and... (fuck off you patronising twat)

Polite reminder (meaning I want to scream at you all, you bunch of idiots)

Makes my fanny slam shut (oh well, what a shame?!)

The 'literally spat out my tea/coffee' thing annoys me too.

Last night someone said they snorted so hard at something someone posted, that wine came out of their nose.

I thought 'no it didn't.' And also, what the poster had said wasn't even funny.

So why is it no one (bar me and you and my mate Dave's sister Helen) have any idea about the fit of rage that Rumplestiltskin flew into?

Or even just who Rumplestiltskin is?

I only know that Helen knew who he was due to the fact I was relaying a story from when I was about 15 and having a row with my mum while I was standing on the turn of the stairs and "jumped up & down so hard in a rage that the stair gave way and my foot went through like Rumplestiltskin".

Out of an audience of about eight people, Helen was the only one who laughed.

Sorry If this has already been mentioned, I can't keep up !!.
' I hope this email finds you well' aaarrrrggghhh faccckin hell!!'
I hate it. Makes my teeth itch 😬
@excelledyourself - sorry not sure how I tagged you in this🤣

I would like to add “happy place” please

"Dare to dream"

Get in the fucking bin

Mn phrases I loathe
It boils my piss
You’ve set the bar too low
Grinds my gears
Ohh that’d go nice with a shrug or a bolero, about any dress that’s not a boxy polyester tent
Ducks in a row

Slap up meal with all the trimmings . Reminds me of the Beano.

@Loloj you'll enjoy this

'Do better' is annoying yes!

'Living my best life.'

Fuck off!

It has to be said though, it is possible to literally spit out your tea or coffee, unlike literally dying and still being alive enough to tell the tale.

I once told a joke to the woman in the post office. I was about 19 at the time. I'm not sure what she was expecting from the punchline, but I did not expect her to laugh so widely that her (false) teeth literally fell out onto her side of the counter.

And that's a true story is that.

Me too! 😂

All the above jargon is flourishing within the public sector. ‘Delivering at Pace’ is what you need to be able to prove you can do when interviewed. The more word salad jargon you can use the higher you will score.

Staycation
Spag bol
Hubbybubs
Bae
"So we did a thing"

Hey!

HEY BACK AT YOU,DO NOT EMAIL SHOUT AT ME! WE MAY WORK WITH THE SAME CUSTOMERS BUT I DONT KNOW ANY OF YOU WHO DO THIS. ITS A PROFESSIONAL ENVIRONMENT NOT PLAY TIME!

'date night '🤮