Can I make ice cream from shrews?

[Bwix]

The cats need a treat on a day like this. My boy cat looks very hot and bothered. Girl cat has brought us 4 shrews already and I found a mouse corpse behind the bin, which smells relatively fresh.

Do you think the cats would like it if I froze them, perhaps mixed with a bit of cream? I know they can't taste sugar, so I was thinking of boiling cream and leaving the shrews to infuse at that stage, then making a sugar-free traditional custard (albeit shrew flavoured) and putting that in the ice cream maker.

The shrews are already dead so I'm assuming IANBU.

Fuck me, the update is even weirder than the first thread.

Post I mean!

This is possibly the weirdest thread I've found on here 😂

Love the fact someone has highlighted you can't use cream as cats are lactose intolerant 🤣

What is this I’m reading? Surely you’d have to throw away all of the cooking materials, bowls etc when done? Or better still burn down the entire kitchen?

I’m never ever eating at the home of a cat owner if this is seen as normal.

I hope you have good pet inshrewance.

I'm thinking about how to make a mouse mousse: clearly one would need to gut the mouse first, and after that I think the most sensible prep method would be slow cooking until the meat slides off the bones, and then perhaps mix the meat with equal quantities of butter and whizz in blender

Bloody hell...

@Bwix are you...quite mad?

I feel slightly better that my cat eats her prey without any extra prep or creating washing up for me.

I clicked on this because I thought there was no way that the title meant what I thought it did.
Wrong!

😂

Mouse mousse would be perfect in an elegant layered terrine with pilchard parfait and gerbil gelato. Lightly drizzled with chicken coulis.....

😂😂😂 best thread ever

Ollie says shrews, EW but he would like a milkshake please as they're his favourite thing in the whole wide world
Nobody told him cats are meant to be lactose intolerant

Could you not just give them Dreamies and leave the shrews out for the owls? Or but them some chicken?

They walk among us ffs

It's a shame that shrews aren't tasty as I woke up with the word shrewflé on my lips. I have fed boy cat his usual breakfast and girl cat is out on the town and will stagger in at about 8am with yet another shrew in her mouth.

If a shrewfle isn't to their liking how about a nice fly pie? Cats seem to find them tasty

ours eat everything, including squirrels (minus the tails) but never shrews.
They KILL lots of shrews but leave them
on the doormat like psycho Hermes couriers.

This thread ... brilliantly bonkers OP & hilarious replies from posters.

Have reported for a Classics nomination.

This is really typical cat isn't it?

These creatures are fucking revolting. You can have them. They are my gift to you
🤣

'Just one Brown Ratt-o
Give it to me'

🤣🤣🤣

Knowing that cats hate the taste of shrews puts a new light on them presenting them to us. It's less 'here's a gift to thank you for everything you do for me' and more 'here slave, this disgusting foodstuff is all you are worth'.

yay! delighted this is now in Classics. Brilliant thread.

My (now dead) cat was an absolute murderer when in the garden and no bird, rat, mouse, squirrel, rabbit or shrew was safe when she was about. She would eat them after killing them but she would NEVER eat the shrews so I guess they are poisonous or just taste bad

Sounds gross, but then zoos do give frozen meat to big cats on hot days as a treat, if you're comfortable doing all this in your kitchen then go for it as long as you're using cat friendly milk/cream.