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Original poster

To not keep a flipping ‘gratitude journal’

353 replies

Eastie77Returns · 21/02/2022 21:02

New manager at work, from the US if that’s relevant, declared a few weeks back that she thought it would a great idea for the team to start keeping a gratitude journal. Not my cup of tea at all but I was wasn’t bothered as it was optional. Then journals arrived at our home addresses in the post, she’d ordered them for everyoneConfused

On our weekly team meetings she started asking volunteers to read journal entries aloud. When no-one volunteered, she picked people. A few colleagues ‘read’ clearly made up on the spot entries. When it was my turn I just said I’m not keeping the journal. I’m grateful for many things but I don’t write them down. She didn’t look happy and I’ve heard I’m now on her shit list for not being a team player or something. WIBU??!

OP posts:
Monopolyiscrap · 22/02/2022 00:56

@SheilaWilcox yes this kind of playing with psychological therapies when you have no idea what you are doing, can be really harmful.

Monopolyiscrap · 22/02/2022 00:58

@Porcupineintherough I am too old to put up with crap. Work-related requests I have zero issues with. But psychological game playing like this is not trivial, it is a really bad idea and potentially harmful.

viques · 22/02/2022 00:59

I am grateful for bacon.

I am grateful for fried bread.

I am grateful for brown sauce.

Monopolyiscrap · 22/02/2022 01:03

I read an article about how mindfulness sessions at work had caused breakdowns in a small number of people.
Managers have zero ideas of their employees past mental health and any trauma they have experienced. So nothing like this should be compulsory.
I was a nursery nurse and I remember once some stupid manager asking us to think back to our own childhood and what we enjoyed playing with. One young woman who had a terrible childhood could not stop crying afterwards.

k1233 · 22/02/2022 01:07

I'm grateful that, before now, I've never had to endure the tediousness of a gratitude journal.

I would be grateful if my employer made a genuine attempt to help employees with their mental health.

RobertSmithsLipstick · 22/02/2022 01:18

The thing is, nobody is actually intending to treat it as a serious exercise, so what exactly is the point?
Make it up, say the same thing every day, find some way to make it daft...
No point whatsoever.

RantyAunty · 22/02/2022 01:18

@Porcupineintherough

I love that so many of you work somewhere that following the reasonable instructions of your manager is optional. Back in the real world many would find themselves in shit for not playing nicely and forget the "it's not in my contract" bollocks, trivia like this doesnt have to be.

OP unless this is your hill to die on just make some shit up.

Are you in the military?
blueshoes · 22/02/2022 01:18

Is she Megan?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/02/2022 01:29

Keeping a gratitude journal (in work time) and sharing it (in work time) is a fairly standard if crappy management technique. I doubt an employment tribunal is going to find it isnt, any more than any other reflective management practice are. It's on par with team building activities or having to do the Myers Briggs. There's no need to get in depth and personal, or even tell the truth.

I think it's a really horrible power play when managers/bosses aren't just satisfied with your dedicated work at the job they pay you for, but expect you to kowtow to them in their desire to intrude in your personal life and prove that you are happy all the time.

THEY may pay you NMW, time your toilet breaks to the minute, ignore workplace bullying, treat you like dirt and make all kinds of petty demands on you that are pretty much designed to guarantee that you will feel like a robot under obligation to them; however, for YOU, it isn't enough that you simply fulfil your side of the bargain - you have to give of your all and show them just how euphoric you are to be working for them.

k1233 · 22/02/2022 01:33

@Grendalsmum need to start an ingratitude journal - l'd have no trouble at all with that one! Three things that pissed me off today .

It's just semantics - you could be grateful that you are able to write the three things that pissed you off today in your gratitude journal. They were..."

FlouncerSIT · 22/02/2022 01:35

I do know of people who kept gratitude journals, by choice, when they were going through something like recovering from cancer, so I'm not quite sure where she's going with this...has anyone ever suggested she look at the website Business Balls?! (I'm not making that up, it really exists and is actually a pretty good website.)

One of the things that depresses the socks off me about having to work for organisations (as opposed to the bit of self-employed work I do, though it's gone very quiet on that front recently) is this type of time-sink nonsense (often sponsored by HR, who have to keep justifying their positions somehow).

I'd be tempted either to turn it into a game and make up something completely silly, or amuse myself to see how many buzzword bingo terms I can spot in each minute of drivel.

I often resort to talking about either the antics of our cats or our unsucessful attempts to rescue our veg from the slugs in staff meetings if required to contribute. That way I get the tick for being a good team member and can then drift off for the rest of the meeting.

Or just have a few stock responses - "I am grateful for the lovely sunshine," "I am grateful that my cat brought me a weasel as a present last night", "I am grateful that the snack machine now has wholesome healthy snacks instead of those awful, unhealthy chocolate bars" etc.

(I often have to stop myself from channelling Wednesday Adams as played by Christina Ricci in large meetings. I've had cause to bless Teams and Zoom. And masks. I'm dreading having to take part in live unmasked meetings in the real world again...)

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/02/2022 01:38

Also, it's all very well saying to just make up any old rubbish; but the kind of person who introduces and enforces this is also the kind who is not going to be happy if she thinks you aren't taking it ultra seriously.

Prepare for your 'workplace attitude' to be flagged up as 'a concern' and appear in your KPIs as 'requiring urgent improvement' - then used as a stick to beat you with, brought up every time you have a genuine grievance as 'you not playing YOUR part'. Workplace counselling sessions arranged and 'strongly recommended' (with further 'concerns' raised if you decline).

The kind of managers who respect your personal business and privacy and trust you to know how to conduct yourself at work and just get on with things are 100% NOT the kind of managers who will have a 'check your attitude' tracker sent to your own home and then enforce your use of it in public.

Furries · 22/02/2022 01:43

Think I’d have to make my feelings known. “I’m grateful for the fact that I know my own mind, I cherish my own memories and I’m sensible enough not to share any of this bullshit via coercive methods”.

She is seriously out of line with this. It’s not often I’d say go to HR, but I’d be tempted to raise concerns here - especially if they are so focused on the well-being of staff.

Furries · 22/02/2022 02:00

@Porcupineintherough

I love that so many of you work somewhere that following the reasonable instructions of your manager is optional. Back in the real world many would find themselves in shit for not playing nicely and forget the "it's not in my contract" bollocks, trivia like this doesnt have to be.

OP unless this is your hill to die on just make some shit up.

Are you nuts? There is a huge difference between doing your job properly, turning up to your job, not defrauding your employers etc vs this kind of bollocks.

I hate confrontation and I’d be classed as a rule-follower - but this level of what is, imo, coercive control, is bang out of order. It’s totally intrusive and needs to be nipped in the bud. What’s next? All employees chanting affirmative messages every morning (cos there’s nowhere in the world where that shit happens, not!)

Furries · 22/02/2022 02:02

@Porcupineintherough

Keeping a gratitude journal (in work time) and sharing it (in work time) is a fairly standard if crappy management technique. I doubt an employment tribunal is going to find it isnt, any more than any other reflective management practice are. It's on par with team building activities or having to do the Myers Briggs. There's no need to get in depth and personal, or even tell the truth.
“Or even tell the truth” - what’s the blooming point of it then? Can you not see how batshit your logic is re this?
Justilou1 · 22/02/2022 02:06

Honestly, I would speak to HR… She is projecting her own psychological needs and culture onto you and your department and it’s inappropriate and intrusive. It is insensitive and could be potentially damaging to people who genuinely have MH issues going on, and she needs to stop it.

Furries · 22/02/2022 02:13

I’d probably add one more, genuine, comment in my own journal - if I had one. I’m grateful that I’ve got to an age/point in my life where I no longer worry about pleasing everyone - am grateful that I’m comfortable enough to call out bullshit straight away, rather than spend valuable mental gymnastics on trying to appease/placate every scenario I encounter. And wine - I’m very grateful for wine.

BreadInCaptivity · 22/02/2022 02:27

I think this is grossly invasive.

We all have the right to privacy (article 8 Human Rights Act 1998).

Being asked to record and share your personal experiences (positive or negative) in a public forum is a violation of that right.

It doesn't matter if those experiences are work related.

If you have a HR department you should file a grievance.

garlictwist · 22/02/2022 02:48

This reminds me of a "tree of hope" we had at school, set up by my (also American) RE teacher to celebrate the turn of the millennium.

We had to write our hopes for the future on a leaf and pin it on the tree. I put "I hope I never have to do anything like this again". It did not go down well.

1forAll74 · 22/02/2022 03:27

Typically American dross, what is the point of such a thing.

SnowyPetals · 22/02/2022 03:57

When she sent out the diaries, did she explain how filling it in relates to your professional life and in what way devoting work time to it improves anything at work? I expect not! Sounds like an indulgent vanity project to me.

LaurenKelsey · 22/02/2022 04:10

I hate this kind of thing. Putting pressure on employees to participate in doing this is beyond the beyond. It’s nobody’s business if I don’t care to share my feelings on non work-related matters, and I’d resent being put in the position of being required to do so.

LaurenKelsey · 22/02/2022 04:11

Good thing I’m retired. I’m American and they’d have to fire me before I did a gratitude journal.

merrymouse · 22/02/2022 05:50

@Porcupineintherough

The point is that your manager has asked you to do it . Presumably they think it will help with morale or team building or some such. Quite possibly it wont. I feel like that about team meetings. But as long as they are paying you for your time you just get on with it. It's hardly onerous, it's what? I minute a day thinking of something to say? Usually with stuff like this it gets quietly dropped after a few weeks. And who knows, maybe it will be helpful for someone.
“But as long as they are paying you for your time you just get on with it”

No, that is not true.

silentpool · 22/02/2022 05:59

It's ridiculous. I would be inclined to get into the spirit of things and really go to town.

I'm grateful for the sky being blue.
I'm grateful for the smile I received from a toothless passerby

You could compete with your colleagues?