To not keep a flipping ‘gratitude journal’

[Eastie77Returns]

New manager at work, from the US if that’s relevant, declared a few weeks back that she thought it would a great idea for the team to start keeping a gratitude journal. Not my cup of tea at all but I was wasn’t bothered as it was optional. Then journals arrived at our home addresses in the post, she’d ordered them for everyone

On our weekly team meetings she started asking volunteers to read journal entries aloud. When no-one volunteered, she picked people. A few colleagues ‘read’ clearly made up on the spot entries. When it was my turn I just said I’m not keeping the journal. I’m grateful for many things but I don’t write them down. She didn’t look happy and I’ve heard I’m now on her shit list for not being a team player or something. WIBU??!

I love that so many of you work somewhere that following the reasonable instructions of your manager is optional

Following reasonable instructions would not be optional for me, and I'm a director. The thing is, these are not reasonable instructions.

@Porcupineintherough No I would not work somewhere where a manager would not listen to their team. We are paid to do a job, not to be slaves. The company do not own me.

And anyone that thinks employees should share private thoughts with their manager is a shit line manager.

But they're not reasonable instructions. They're totally unreasonable instructions. And those I will challenge.

Being from the US is probably not all that relevant. I've NEVER had a manager suggest anything of the sort, and had they, one of the answers would have been, "I'm grateful that there are other jobs out there that won't require this nonsense."

Keeping a gratitude journal (in work time) and sharing it (in work time) is a fairly standard if crappy management technique. I doubt an employment tribunal is going to find it isnt, any more than any other reflective management practice are. It's on par with team building activities or having to do the Myers Briggs. There's no need to get in depth and personal, or even tell the truth.

YABU if you think this is a typical American 'thing'. It's not. In fact, in most states it would be considered a violation of employment law. A company has no right to require or coerce an employee to reveal personal information or thoughts.

YANBU to tell her to stuff it. Well, not in those terms, of course. I'd contact HR or the Union and ask for 'compliance guidance'. That was our term for whenever a supervisor proposed something we knew was against ethics.

@Porcupineintherough no one is talking about an employment tribunal. But you can just refuse to do rubbish like this. And it is a terrible management technique.

The fact that no one is volunteering shows that no one wants to do it. So how is it team building? The only way it is team building is in uniting the team against the manager.

Oohoh I know hindsight is 100% and also it's all easy to make ridiculous suggestions when we're not the ones having to deal with her. But I'd find it REALLY hard to resist the temptation.

The innocent nerd :
"sorry, I just want to make sure I get the rules right. Do the things we're grateful for have to be work related or can they be personal ? And how personal can they be ? Can we share intimate details ?"

The detail freak :
"I'm so grateful for the steak I had yesterday night. It was cooked just perfectly, when the edges are just brown enough - but not too much - and still red inside. I heated the pan for two minutes, just until the oil was hot enough, you can tell because it gets more liquidy, and then I put it on there...

The euphemism adept :
"I'm really thankful for that sausage I enjoyed yesterday. It was big, pretty juicy, quite firm. You know how it is, when they have that little bounce to them, you know they're gonna be good. I heated it up slowly, I do like them simmering hot. By the time I put it in my mouth it looked fit to burst. "

@Porcupineintherough

I love that so many of you work somewhere that following the reasonable instructions of your manager is optional. Back in the real world many would find themselves in shit for not playing nicely and forget the "it's not in my contract" bollocks, trivia like this doesnt have to be.

OP unless this is your hill to die on just make some shit up.

It’s not reasonable to ask employees to share their personal life at work.

Gratitude journals have their place but that is very much not a workplace show and tell session.

@3peassuit

Bloody hell. Is this getting to be a thing? It makes me very happy I took early retirement.

But does it make you feel grateful?

The Americans are weird when they come up with these stupid ideas. Intrusive, excrutiatingly embarrassing and not helpful at all.

I used to have a boss who insisted on us all 'choosing a fear and facing it head on' while we all joined in for support. Quite why he thought it was any of his business, I never understood.

After one girl nearly drowned and broke her pelvis trying to white water raft, he stopped.

If you aren't comfortable, stick to your guns.

@merrymouse who said anything about sharing your personal life? You just tell them that you love the new coffee machine, or design for widget production, or pudding club Friday.

@Porcupineintherough so meaningless crap. What is the point?

I absolutely would not do this.
It's total bollocks.

The point is that your manager has asked you to do it . Presumably they think it will help with morale or team building or some such. Quite possibly it wont. I feel like that about team meetings. But as long as they are paying you for your time you just get on with it. It's hardly onerous, it's what? I minute a day thinking of something to say? Usually with stuff like this it gets quietly dropped after a few weeks. And who knows, maybe it will be helpful for someone.

@Porcupineintherough do you do everything you are told to do?

It’s not appropriate for the workplace but I’d write random shit in it Ito keep the peace.

“I’m grateful my washing machine was fixed yesterday”

I’m grateful my h cooked me shepherds pie last night

I’m grateful my toddler used the potty

Literally any random day to day shit.

Or just say the same thing every time. I am grateful for the air I breathe.

This would really fuck with my head.

I suffer from depression and manage to hide it / keep it together in most situations but anything 'deep' at work risks sending me off into a self-loathing spiral;

Bloody hell, has she copied a MLM hun? I’ve never heard gratitude mentioned anywhere else.

I'm grateful that somebody has unilaterally decided that showing the slightest amount of backbone to pointless workplace wankery precludes you from living in the real world.

1. Make it up 2) it's no business of hers what anyone is grateful of out of work.

@Monopolyiscrap I comply with my employers reasonable requests if that's what you mean. As long as they happen during my contracted hours. I might not always comply in spirit but, like I said, I've never worked anywhere where just refusing something so trivial would be considered reasonable.