To not keep a flipping ‘gratitude journal’

[Eastie77Returns]

New manager at work, from the US if that’s relevant, declared a few weeks back that she thought it would a great idea for the team to start keeping a gratitude journal. Not my cup of tea at all but I was wasn’t bothered as it was optional. Then journals arrived at our home addresses in the post, she’d ordered them for everyone

On our weekly team meetings she started asking volunteers to read journal entries aloud. When no-one volunteered, she picked people. A few colleagues ‘read’ clearly made up on the spot entries. When it was my turn I just said I’m not keeping the journal. I’m grateful for many things but I don’t write them down. She didn’t look happy and I’ve heard I’m now on her shit list for not being a team player or something. WIBU??!

[DollyDan]

Bring a post it note with “I am grateful I lost my journal” written in sharpie, stick it to your top or forehead for maximum effect

[saraclara]

With your camera off, I'd just sob quietly.

My boss stopped doing this sort of crap when her ice breaker at the staff meeting the day before term started, was for each person to share something like that. It got to the turn of one of my colleagues and she burst into tears because her dad had died tragically in the holiday.

That was the end of ice breakers at my school.

[Grendalsmum]

I'm so grateful l clicked on this thread. I've been trying to keep one of these bastard things since Christmas and it's doing my head in. I need to start an ingratitude journal - l'd have no trouble at all with that one! Three things that pissed me off today ...

[killerofhouseplants]

"I am grateful for gravy, without which, pies would be lacking".
"I am grateful for spots, which like to be squeezed and give me something to do during tedious meetings"

[Rosehugger]

I'd tell her straight, privately, that I find it intrusive and overstepping into my home life, certainly not helpful for good mental health, and will not be using the journal for thoughts that will be shared with colleagues.

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

@Redshoeblueshoe

I am grateful for the bottle of vodka hidden in my desk drawer.
Is it too early to nominate this thread for classics ?

Definitely heading for the classics pile. This has cheered me up no end!

OP - "I'm so grateful there are only 5341 working days until I retire"
Then adjust every week like the millennium clock.

[Eggsley]

@Mercyn

Meh, life is hard sometimes. Just let life be difficult, it’s reality.

nothing wrong with being deeply cynical about contrived pop psychology foisted on the unwilling as an attempt to tick some corporate wanky idea of “improving the workplace”. It’s infantilising, intrusive, and insulting.

Absolutely this!!

[Velvian]

I would be grateful to have paper to write my notice letter on.

[Peppaflavouredbacon]

@formalineadeline

Is she young and new to management? She sounds very... enthusiastic.

It’s not enthusiastic she sounds. It’s bloody American.

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

You are all very cynical. Try it. So much negativity in the world. Sometimes it is good to regroup. I had to deal with a child protection thing today which was very sad- believe me- focusing on nice thing was a great distraction and helps refocus on things which otherwise might annoy you.

But you said it yourself: "Try it" - not "You WILL do this!"

It's a lovely suggestion which obviously helps a lot of people who decide to take it up - but enforced happiness more often than not equals sadness. By all means encourage, but other people's private emotions are theirs - not yours to control.

[mumwon]

either
lyrics to "its wonderful life" ( & please attempt to sing it as badly as you can or perhaps get together with some of your fellow work mates & get up & sing it - badly & out of tune preferably- as a chorus)
or
say something like
I am glad I am a feminist & than state a feminist manifesto
or
talk about God & religion complete with tambourine accompaniment

[OakPine]

Look it's work. You don't have to tell them your deepest secrets.
Just make up some shit. You won't be asked every day. Choose food and the weather.
I'm grateful for this sunny weather
I'm grateful for this delicious coffee
bland inoffensive, but playing along

I was at a team building event with several hundred people and people were asked to think of a secret no-one knew about them. Presenter pointed to people and they had to share their secret. Anyone sensible did the "You wouldn't BELIEVE that I loved gymnastics/swimming/hockey/wearing pink clothes/had a pet lizard when I was a child!"
One guy stood up and told us about his extra marital affairs and that his wife left him. Deadly silence in the room. Awkward.

[Redshoeblueshoe]

Good suggestions there mumwon

[Redshoeblueshoe]

But why should anyone have to play along with this bollocks ?

[SpikyHatePotato]

As as side note, I read the Ask a Manager blog, which is American, and I'm pretty sure the author of that would think this was an absolutely horrendous idea as well

[merrymouse]

Anyone sensible did the "You wouldn't BELIEVE that I loved gymnastics/swimming/hockey/wearing pink clothes/had a pet lizard when I was a child!

In any sane organisation the sensible action would be to report to HR.

[HermioneGrangersHair]

I think I’d just play along each day...just to piss her off

I am grateful that someone invented Jaffa cakes
I’m grateful that Pet Shop Boys are still touring
I’m grateful that we know who shot JR
I’m grateful that diamonds are a girls best friend
I’m grateful my Dc are now potty trained
Etc

[midlifecrash]

How can it build resilience to be coerced into this? I tell you what would show resilience and coordinated thinking, if you all told her to do one.

At my work place (pre COVID) there was some training during which everyone was asked to hold hands - the answer was “nope”. Dunno what happened then, I was booked onto the next session but it was cancelled…

[saraclara]

@Rosehugger

I'd tell her straight, privately, that I find it intrusive and overstepping into my home life, certainly not helpful for good mental health, and will not be using the journal for thoughts that will be shared with colleagues.

Yes. My well-being was best served by compartmentalising home and work. And I would make it very clear that being compelled to share my personal feelings publically would be bad for my mental health.

[Theblacksheepandme]

Rosehugger
I'd tell her straight, privately, that I find it intrusive and overstepping into my home life, certainly not helpful for good mental health, and will not be using the journal for thoughts that will be shared with colleagues.

I think this is exactly what should be done.

[Gynaesaur]

Depending on how invested you are on ever having a working relationship with your colleagues again...
I'd suggest a very intense rendition of "Thank you for being a friend".
Walking around the room. Stopping at each person. Looking into their eyes. Letting them know just how grateful you are that they're your friend.
Depending on how quickly they move to get away, you could sit on their laps.

[Changechangychange]

@Sunshineandcoffee

Start quoting that primary school song

1. Autumn days when the grass is jewelled

See if the rest of you colleagues get the joke and see how much if the song you can get out before getting caught

This! It’s very British, Americans don’t sing it, she won’t recognise it at all.

[WhatWouldChristineCagneyDo]

'I am grateful for Karl Marx's theoretical framework of historical materialism' Then stand up and shout 'The Workers Must Seize The Means Of Production!' whilst energetically waving a tiny red flag above your head.

[Gynaesaur]

@Gynaesaur

Depending on how invested you are on ever having a working relationship with your colleagues again...
I'd suggest a very intense rendition of "Thank you for being a friend".
Walking around the room. Stopping at each person. Looking into their eyes. Letting them know just how grateful you are that they're your friend.
Depending on how quickly they move to get away, you could sit on their laps.

Just remembered that you said you're online, dammit. Maybe just sing it then.

[GiftWrappingLikeItsXmasEve]

It’s so weird but I’d love to make up random entries to read out! Very specific or very vague.

Might start with “I’m grateful for this gratitude journal that is hopefully going to make me let you know just how grateful I am. Also red smarties”

“When I saw my grandmother for the last time a week before she died I am grateful for the smiling last look she gave me as she turned over in bed. And nature.”